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Welcome to Our Modern Hospital Where If You Want to Know a Price You Can Go Fuck Yourself. Welcome to America General Hospital!

Welcome to Our Modern Hospital Where If You Want to Know a Price You Can Go Fuck Yourself

Seems you have an oozing head injury there. Let’s check your insurance. Okay, quick “heads up” — ha! — that your plan may not cover everything today. Climbing. A New Era: Donald Trump Just Whispered ‘Hope You. It looks like President-elect Donald Trump is wasting no time making his mark on Washington.

A New Era: Donald Trump Just Whispered ‘Hope You

He’s already gotten to work appointing his new Cabinet members and laying the groundwork for his new administration. And if it wasn’t already clear that things are going to be done Trump’s way for the next four years, Donald Trump just whispered “Hope you like to make ham, motherfucker” to a White House executive chef. Wow! It looks like Washington is going to be a very different place under President Trump! Those who witnessed the encounter say that, during a recent visit to the White House, Trump caught sight of a high-ranking member of the White House kitchen, waved him over, and said, “Come here, let me talk to you a minute,” in a voice that was somehow both cordial and threatening.

Members of the White House staff overheard the phrases “Ham is your life now, idiot” and “I don’t care what else you can cook. Please Make Yourselves at Home in My Airbnb and Have Sex. Dear Airbnb Renters, Thanks for choosing to stay at my place this weekend!

Please Make Yourselves at Home in My Airbnb and Have Sex

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Let’s Get Drinks

So great to see you at Mike’s party on New Year’s. You free this week? Want to grab drinks? B: Yo!!!!! Sorry it took me so long to respond. Nice catch! Create, Discover and Share on Gfycat. Nerf Screamer Football But With Human Screams. Grand Rounds on Instagram: “Our #analytics team with their #thoracicpark #Halloween theme is killing it with the puns. One like = one vote. Voting ends Friday!” Consume - Comedians script porn.

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People Who Accidentally Dressed Like Their Surroundings - artctrldel.net

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Better names for animals - Sellotape Selfie. Imgur. Siamese Twins. Nihilisa Frank. Existential Riddles. A farmer has to transport a fox, a chicken, and a sack of corn across a river.

Existential Riddles

She can carry only one item at a time. If left together, the fox will eat the chicken, and the chicken will eat the corn. How does the farmer do it? The farmer begins by carrying the chicken across the river. But, as she does so, she notices her reflection in the water. A man sees a boat that is full of people. Everyone on the boat is married, so there isn’t one single person on the boat. The man wonders if it’s legal for a transportation system to discriminate against unmarried people.

The man blows his nose. Which is heavier, a ton of feathers or a ton of gold? Everything is equal in an infinitely expanding, cruelly indifferent universe. A town has only two barbers. The man should go to the barber with the shaggy, messy haircut. But he goes to the barber closer to his apartment. Dad joke survivors. GYM WILDLIFE. Astronauts describing space. Most Cans Opened in 3 Seconds. Carrie Fisher Dishes on Return to 'Star Wars'

It’s Rotting Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get these decorative gourds the fuck out of my house.

It’s Rotting Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.

The clock expired on these goofy goose-necked bastards about six weeks ago, but I pushed it and the shit got real on me. It’s Autumn overtime up in here and these fuzzy fuckers need to go. When my guests come over I’m gonna be like, SORRY! My bad on all these rancid ornamental vegetables, you guys. I really should have stayed on top of this perishable shit. One minute Fall’s like, “Hey, check out my delightful fucking harvest, I smell like cinnamon and apples and shit, isn’t this nice?” Next thing I know, I’m rearranging my table horn and my fingers wind up two digits deep in gourd goo. Whistle 100 WSSL. Everyone's Upstairs Neighbors. ClickHole. Try to find victories in everything you do, no matter how small. (x-post from /r/standupshots ) Field Day Presents Bob Partington.

Every Comment On Recipe Blogs. Previously: The Comment Section For Every Article Ever Written About Intimate Grooming and Tipping.

Every Comment On Recipe Blogs

wWmRd2h. American ninja warrior t-rex . Go hard or go extinct. Guy inserts himself into stock photos. Jon Call on Instagram: “YEAAHHHHH!!!!!! YEAAHHHHH!!!!!! #lol #chairsplits #chairsplits #sidesplits #boxsplits #frontsplits #mobility #flexibility #crossfit #gainz #mobilitywod #wod #legday #yoga #kimerakoffee #bodybuilding #jujimufu #stupid #splits #stret. HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT IN 4 EASY STEPS. I’ve spent the past year losing 80 lbs and getting in shape.

HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT IN 4 EASY STEPS

Episode 1: The Pilot. YouTube. Yeah I got skills - ultimate compilation. CENA WINS LOL (at every competition) Accident in crocodile show. We just can't help it. Everything I Am Afraid Might Happen If I Ask New Acquaintances to Get Coffee. 6ft Man in 6ft Giant Water Balloon - 4K - The Slow Mo Guys. 20 essential job interview tips. So your CV is good enough to get an interview and now you need some tips and strategies to seal the deal?

20 essential job interview tips

Michael Spicer has some essential advice to help you ace the interview. Trending: New And Exciting Products From The Daily Mail Gift Shop.