6 hostage negotiation techniques that will get you what you want
How does hostage negotiation get people to change their minds? The Behavioral Change Stairway Model was developed by the FBI’s hostage negotiation unit, and it shows the 5 steps to getting someone else to see your point of view and change what they’re doing. It’s not something that only works with barricaded criminals wielding assault rifles — it applies to most any form of disagreement. There are five steps: Active Listening: Listen to their side and make them aware you’re listening.Empathy: You get an understanding of where they’re coming from and how they feel.Rapport: Empathy is what you feel. Rapport is when they feel it back. The problem is, you’re probably screwing it up. What you’re doing wrong In all likelihood you usually skip the first three steps. And that never works. Saying “Here’s why I’m right and you’re wrong” might be effective if people were fundamentally rational. But they’re not. From my interview with former head of FBI international hostage negotiation, Chris Voss: 1. 2.
Related: Non-Violent Communication
• Nonviolent Communication
• Self Help