background preloader

6 hostage negotiation techniques that will get you what you want

6 hostage negotiation techniques that will get you what you want
How does hostage negotiation get people to change their minds? The Behavioral Change Stairway Model was developed by the FBI’s hostage negotiation unit, and it shows the 5 steps to getting someone else to see your point of view and change what they’re doing. It’s not something that only works with barricaded criminals wielding assault rifles — it applies to most any form of disagreement. There are five steps: Active Listening: Listen to their side and make them aware you’re listening.Empathy: You get an understanding of where they’re coming from and how they feel.Rapport: Empathy is what you feel. Rapport is when they feel it back. The problem is, you’re probably screwing it up. What you’re doing wrong In all likelihood you usually skip the first three steps. And that never works. Saying “Here’s why I’m right and you’re wrong” might be effective if people were fundamentally rational. But they’re not. From my interview with former head of FBI international hostage negotiation, Chris Voss: 1. 2.

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/

Related:  Non-Violent CommunicationNegotiationimprovementNonviolent CommunicationSelf Help

FBI Secrets of Establishing Rapport: Interview with FBI Veteran Robin Dreeke Even if you’re the biggest introvert in the world, Robin Dreeke can get you to talk. As a 15-year FBI veteran and lead trainer for social engineering and interpersonal skills at the agency, Dreeke is a master of establishing rapport with just about anyone, and that includes the IT guy who never looks up from his keyboard. As head of the Behavioral Analysis Program, Dreeke often is asked by companies to help their leaders better communicate with their teams and increase collaboration . Dreeke says he finds the best way to establish rapport with others is by asking himself, “What do I want the other people to tell me or do for me, for the team or for the company?” Then he contemplates this question: “Why should they do it?”

Don’t Get Defensive: Communication Tips for the Vigilant - Mark Goulston by Mark Goulston | 12:00 PM November 15, 2013 When we get defensive, we make it that much harder for our conversational counterparts to hear what we’re saying. We also make it harder to really listen to what *they* have to say. Soon, we’re shadow-boxing, defending ourselves against attacks that aren’t real, and wasting energy — and relationship capital — on damage control instead of solving the problem at hand. The Psychology of Self-Control by Maria Popova “Everyone’s self-control is a limited resource; it’s like muscle strength: the more we use it, the less remains in the tank, until we replenish it with rest.” Ever since psychology godfather William James first expounded the crucial role of habit in how we live and who we become, modern psychology has sought to figure out how we can rewire our bad habits, maximize our willpower, and use habits to optimize our productivity. And yet, if the market for self-help books and to-do apps and productivity tools is any indication, a great many of us still struggle with either understanding the psychology of habit and willpower or applying it to what really matters.

Improve Your Life: What 10 Things Should You Do Every Day To Improve Your Life? 10 things that scientific research shows can help improve your life. 1) Get out in nature You probably seriously underestimate how important this is. Praise versus Encouragement Most of us believe that we need to praise our children more. However, there is some controversy regarding this point. If we always reward a child with praise after a task is completed, then the child comes to expect it. However, if praise is not forthcoming, then its absence may be interpreted by the child as failure. According to Naomi Aldort, "Children who are subjected to endless commentary, acknowledgment, and praise eventually learn to do things not for their own sake, but to please others."

The Tools Early-Stage Startups Actually Need to Understand Their Customers After 18 months of struggling to get traction with two product ideas, Segment started its turnaround. What followed was a two-year stretch of growth from four to 60 people, thousands of new customers and $44 million over several rounds of financing. What was the trigger for such a significant inflection point? In the lead up to the sea change, Co-founder and CEO Peter Reinhardt and the team at Segment started to heavily lean into qualitative feedback tools like live chat widget Olark. A scientific guide to saying "no": How to avoid temptation and distraction 2K Flares Filament.io 2K Flares × Learning how to say no is one of the most useful skills you can develop I found, especially when it comes to living a more productive and healthy life. Saying no to unnecessary commitments can give you the time you need to recover and rejuvenate.

Here are the things that are proven to make you happier: Time to round up the research on living a happy life to see what we can use. First, yeah, a good chunk of happiness is controlled by your genes but there’s a lot you can do to make yourself happier. Many of these techniques have been repeatedly tested and even worked with the clinically depressed. Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude I can’t emphasize this one enough.

How even the most timid can teach themselves instant charisma By Louise Atkinson Published: 21:30 GMT, 29 July 2012 | Updated: 07:11 GMT, 30 July 2012 Princess Diana had it, Helen Mirren has it and Davina McCall has it in spades. Some people effortlessly ooze a natural air of confidence and composure that puts everyone at ease — people hang on their every word and they never seem short of friends, lovers or money. HOW DOES NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION WORK? NVC offers many tools for connecting with others in ways that serve life. Nonviolent Communication can dramatically improve our relationships by helping us focus our attention on: Empathic understanding of others – without compromising our values, and Honest expression of our feelings and needs – without blame or judgment In NVC, we learn to hear difficult messages with compassion and to express ourselves authentically with the help of these four steps: OBSERVATION – what we observe that is affecting our well-being FEELINGS – how we are feeling in relation to what we are observing NEEDS – the values, dreams, and preferences connected to our feelings REQUEST – the concrete, presently doable actions we request in order to respond to our needs and enrich our lives

An Entrepreneur's Guide to Compliance Understanding your role in compliance and staying ahead of federal regulations is challenging, but it’s infinitely preferable to the fines and other costs associated with non-compliance. Creating a culture of compliance in your organization, even if it’s just you, isn’t something that you can deal with in the future, or assume is the domain of only larger organizations. In the current business climate, every organization, regardless of size, is held accountable for compliance, and regulators are examining compliance plans and policies more closely than ever. As an entrepreneur, what does compliance mean to you? There are a few things that you need to be cognizant of, and if a plan to ensure compliance is not already in place, creating one should be one of your first priorities.

6 Exercises To Strengthen Compassionate Leadership Disney has been known for its litigious nature in the past, going so far as to change copyright law in order to keep Mickey Mouse out of public domain. That's why it's kind of weird that a movie filmed at Disney World, unapproved by the Mouse House, even exists at all. After making a splash at Sundance this year, though, the intriguing Escape From Tomorrow appears to be heading for a theatrical release--and the first trailer is now online. First-time director Randy Moore shot the film at the Florida theme park, guerrilla-style, over a series of visits with his crew and an unknown cast. 30 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself To quote Maria Robinson, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” This couldn’t be any closer to the truth in my opinion. However, before a transformation can begin, you have to stop yourself from doing the things that have been holding you back and preventing your transformation. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.

Related: