background preloader

Steven Wright quotes

Steven Wright quotes

http://jittery.com/

Related:  HumorTwo

Things I Won't Work With: Dioxygen Difluoride The heater was warmed to approximately 700C. The heater block glowed a dull red color, observable with room lights turned off. The ballast tank was filled to 300 torr with oxygen, and fluorine was added until the total pressure was 901 torr. . . And yes, what happens next is just what you think happens: you run a mixture of oxygen and fluorine through a 700-degree-heating block. "Oh, no you don't," is the common reaction of most chemists to that proposal, ". . .not unless I'm at least a mile away, two miles if I'm downwind."

Douglas Adams Quotes He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. Douglas Adams He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. I love deadlines. 99 ways to make your computer blazingly fast Over the last several years working in IT for various companies as a Systems Administrator, Network Administrator, and Help Desk professional, I’ve written and learned about many ways to increase the performance of not only my PC, but also of the many PCs on my networks ranging from Windows 98 to Windows Vista. In this article, I hope to compile a complete list of all the different methods and tricks that I’ve used to get the last bit of juice out of a slow PC. Whether you are using an old PC or the latest and greatest in hardware, you can still use some of these to make your PC run faster. Note that since I write two blogs, Help Desk Geek and Online Tech Tips, I have previously written about many performance tips already which I will link back to throughout. If I have not written about it, I’ve throw in a link to a relevant article from some of my other favorite sites. This list is in no particular order, just written in the order that I could think of them.

Meditation May Protect Your Brain For thousands of years, Buddhist meditators have claimed that the simple act of sitting down and following their breath while letting go of intrusive thoughts can free one from the entanglements of neurotic suffering. Now, scientists are using cutting-edge scanning technology to watch the meditating mind at work. They are finding that regular meditation has a measurable effect on a variety of brain structures related to attention — an example of what is known as neuroplasticity, where the brain physically changes in response to an intentional exercise. A team of Emory University scientists reported in early September that experienced Zen meditators were much better than control subjects at dropping extraneous thoughts and returning to the breath. The same researchers reported last year that longtime meditators don’t lose gray matter in their brains with age the way most people do, suggesting that meditation may have a neuro-protective effect. Where does all this lead?

Pablo Picasso Quotes Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Pablo Picasso Every child is an artist. funny quotes and motivational sayings, quotations for business, sales, management, love and speeches; free amusing and motivational quotes, pareto and other laws and rules home » amusement/stress relief » funny quotes, sayings, useful maxims funny quotes, motivational maxims, principles and rules, for training, writing, speeches, love and work - inspirational quotes are now here Quotes for training, personal development, and inspiration. Quotes provide helpful references and inspirational examples for business and life. These quotes below here are mainly funny as well as inspirational and motivational.

TM): Great quotes by comedians Great quotes by comedians ----- Begin NetScrap(TM) ----- Great quotes by comedians "If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me." --Bobcat Goldthwait "I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money." --Kevin Meaney "My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. Calcmoolator Helps You Make Smarter Financial Decisions - AppScout Most of us have wondered at some point whether it would be better to lease a car or buy one, rent an apartment or buy a condo, or if there's a faster way to pay down our credit card debt. Lots of financial sites and communities exist to help you get the right information to decide for yourself, but Calcmoolator, a new site full of tools and calculators, stands out from the rest. Calcmoolator launched its new site today, along with mobile apps for the iPhone, iPad, and Android mobile phones that let you take some of the site's most popular calculators and financial tools with you on the go. All of Calcmoolator's tools are designed to be easy to use by the layperson that is just looking for a way to cut down their debt and save for the future without launching into a full course on economics. The site features calculators and tools in 10 categories, including Auto, Mortgage, Jobs, Loan Comparison, Credit Cards, Money Saving Tools, and more.

Lojong Lojong (Tib. བློ་སྦྱོང་,Wylie: blo sbyong) is a mind training practice in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition based on a set of aphorisms formulated in Tibet in the 12th century by Geshe Chekhawa. The practice involves refining and purifying one's motivations and attitudes. The fifty-nine or so slogans that form the root text of the mind training practice are designed as a set of antidotes to undesired mental habits that cause suffering. They contain both methods to expand one's viewpoint towards absolute bodhicitta, such as "Find the consciousness you had before you were born" and "Treat everything you perceive as a dream", and methods for relating to the world in a more constructive way with relative bodhicitta, such as "Be grateful to everyone" and "When everything goes wrong, treat disaster as a way to wake up."

60 Selected Best Famous Quotes II It has been over a year since I published my collection of 60 very best quotes, and it still remains one of the most popular pages on this website. I thought it was time for a sequel, including great quotes that were left out of the first collection or have been recently discovered. Enjoy! Wisdom and Inspirational Quotes

Fully Sick: Amazingly Simple Home Remedies 1. If you're choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"Witness: "I only have one, you know." 64 Things Every Geek Should Know. The term ‘geek’, once used to label a circus freak, has morphed in meaning over the years. What was once an unusual profession transferred into a word indicating social awkwardness. As time has gone on, the word has yet again morphed to indicate a new type of individual: someone who is obsessive over one (or more) particular subjects, whether it be science, photography, electronics, computers, media, or any other field. A geek is one who isn’t satisfied knowing only the surface facts, but instead has a visceral desire to learn everything possible about a particular subject. A techie geek is usually one who knows a little about everything, and is thus the person family and friends turn to whenever they have a question.

Healing the Body with Mindfulness of Breathing « Metta Refuge This excerpt from a talk by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh explains how to use mindfulness of breathing to bring loving-kindness to our dear bodies. The physical effect of this can be truly remarkable. As Thây says, “You should really love your body. You should really take care of your body. Mindful breathing, with rest, can do miracles.

Related:  OneTAOStand UpThe Coolistmr_pearlstarliteBuisness Stumbles