How Twilight Works All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman. Please don't steal. TheOatmeal.com was lovingly built using CakePHP All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman. TheOatmeal.com was lovingly built using CakePHP The 5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time Plenty of people know George Washington as the father of our country, but few people know, (and this is, perhaps, more important), just how similar he was in behavior to the Incredible Hulk. Stay with us. As described by Thomas Jefferson, George Washington "was naturally irritable" and when his temper "broke its bonds, he was most tremendous in his wrath." Washington wasn't just a shirt-ripping comic book character waiting to happen, he was also an amazing general and, possibly, totally invincible. Though that isn't quite as catchy as "This is Sparta!" Greatest Display of Badassedry: Making America. Most Badass Quote: After another tough battle where Washington was miraculously not wounded, he wrote a letter to his brother detailing his experiences. Checking Teddy Roosevelt's resume is like reading a How-To guide on ass-kicking manliness. Teddy Roosevelt, a split second before spitting in the invisible face of death, and pimp slapping it with his tiny neck-hand. "A cold."
Nerd Paradise : How to Write a 20 Page Research Paper in Under a Day Posted on: 10 Cado 7:0 - 5.27.29 So you've procrastinated again. You told yourself you wouldn't do this 2 months ago when your professor assigned you this. But you procrastinated anyway. Pick a Topic The more "legally-oriented" your topic is, the better. Make a list ...of every possible outcome that this issue could cause in...the near future...the far future...of every person that this topic affects....of any instances where this topic has come in the news....what you would do about this topic if you had the chance/power/enough-sugar...any little detail you can think ofThe important thing about this is to think of ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, no matter how silly or far-fetched. Reorder everything Put your most obvious argument first. Then put weird off the wall stuff, regardless of importance. Put the strongest argument for your case next. Now list the incidents that will help argue for your point. It's best to keep all this in the form of an outline. Spaces Now print it out. Write Go Back Inside
The Problem With Social Networks "Social Networks" like Facebook are booming -- especially Facebook. There's only one problem with them: to communicate there, members pretty much have to write. How can that be a problem? After all, all of us learned to write in school, right? Rachel: "I'm board." Abigale to Darcy: "You shouldn't be aloud to talk." Post: "Never leave facebook open. Catrina: "Just found out the US is bombing Labia...THAT SUCKS!... Cory: "DONT LET YOUR EMOTIONS OVER POWER YOUR INTELIGENCE'S" Alexa: "seriously?" Poster: "when is the point when you no that you cant fail worse?" And here's why this happens: Alyssa: "honer roll now with mostly a's and 1 b hopping for princapals honer roll next time :-)" Lee: "Just curious, does your school give spelling tests?" That, and: Post: "....thank you Massachusetts for making it impossible for me becoming a teacher. Yeah. Posted May 13, 2011 11:00 AM « Marketing Explained | Home | Random | Newspaper Correction of the Month » Category: Online life -- Prev: No!
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A.S.B. • Who doesn't like a blonde joke? A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The 12 Least Impressive Boasts in Rap Lyrics Rappers love to brag about all the fun stuff they get to do and all the cool people they get to meet. And why wouldn't they? I'm sure having hoes in every area code is way more awesome than having a mortgage on a three-bedroom home in the suburbs or whatever other mundane achievement normal people strive for. But sometimes, those boasts stray into territory that seems anything but impressive. In today's episode, we'll be taking a look at a few rappers who took their boasting to new heights by shouting out some of the dorkiest things imaginable. Here are 12 of the lamest boasts in recent hip-hop history... #12. Getty The Lyric "Tuck my napkin in my shirt cuz I'm just mobbin like that" Why It's Lame Look, I'm not even 100% sure what "mobbin" means, but I've heard rappers use that word hundreds of times. Getty"I'm from the streets bitch!" #11. "Holla at ya boy, yeah I can do alot for ya, Speakin my language if you talkin bout tilapia" Tilapia? GettyHe's also fluent in salmon. 1. 2. 3. 4. #10. #9.
It is possible to understand Engineers - Where theres a will, theres a way. Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway." Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? The doctor chimed in,"I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. He said, "Hello, George. The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. They were silent for a moment.
Kids talk Science This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS: * "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water." * "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull." * "When you breathe, you inspire. The opinions and statements expressed on this page are those of parents who belong to the UC Berkeley Parents Network and should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the University of California, Berkeley.