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Adventures in Depression

Adventures in Depression
Some people have a legitimate reason to feel depressed, but not me. I just woke up one day feeling sad and helpless for absolutely no reason. It's disappointing to feel sad for no reason. Sadness can be almost pleasantly indulgent when you have a way to justify it - you can listen to sad music and imagine yourself as the protagonist in a dramatic movie. You can gaze out the window while you're crying and think "This is so sad. I can't even believe how sad this whole situation is. But my sadness didn't have a purpose. Essentially, I was being robbed of my right to feel self pity, which is the only redeeming part of sadness. And for a little bit, that was a good enough reason to pity myself. Standing around feeling sorry for myself was momentarily exhilarating, but I grew tired of it quickly. I tried to force myself to not be sad. When I couldn't will myself to not be sad, I became frustrated and angry. Which made me more sad. Which then made me more frustrated and abusive. I felt invincible.

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12-Steps to Creating Motivation When Depressed Creating motivation when feeling depressed can be one of the most difficult things a person can do. An episode of depression can be physically and emotionally draining. The simplest of tasks seem to take maximum effort, and sometimes even beyond maximum. Some may feel lethargic. Why Depression Ruins Your Memory Depression has been linked to memory impairment, but being depressed doesn't affect all types of memory uniformly. A new study suggests that people with depression can remember the big picture, but have difficulty with memories of fine details--distinguishing the differences between similar memories. Brigham Young University professor Brock Kirwan and one of his former grad students, D.J. Shelton, set up a memory test where participants were asked to look at various objects that popped up on a computer screen, and mark them as a new object (something they hadn't seen in the test already) or an old object (that they had seen). Out of 83 participants, those who were more depressed (assessed by pre-study surveys) could usually tell the difference between objects they had or hadn't seen before, but were significantly more likely to categorize objects that looked similar, but not exactly the same, as "old." Granted, I too might have a hard time distinguishing between a few of these:

Depression Part Two I remember being endlessly entertained by the adventures of my toys. Some days they died repeated, violent deaths, other days they traveled to space or discussed my swim lessons and how I absolutely should be allowed in the deep end of the pool, especially since I was such a talented doggy-paddler. I didn't understand why it was fun for me, it just was. But as I grew older, it became harder and harder to access that expansive imaginary space that made my toys fun. I remember looking at them and feeling sort of frustrated and confused that things weren't the same. I played out all the same story lines that had been fun before, but the meaning had disappeared.

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This article is speaking about depression and the journey along the way. Some people may have a reason to feel depressed and wanting to be alone. But sometimes, people will just wake up one morning feeling sad or even nothing at all . You wonder to yourself why you have this horrible feeling of sadness and what is driving it. You know you are depressed, but there is no reason why. Along the way you lay down alot and sleep and feel as if you hate yourself. All you want to do it curl up in a corner and pretend you are not even there. After awhile, you finally go out despite your horrible feeling. You realize that this feeling will go away and you just have to try something that will make you feel happy. by bridgets_sstories Apr 8

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