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The Daily Mash

The Daily Mash
IMMIGRATION has fallen after people finally bothered to find out what Britain is actually like. ENGLISH is evolving in the wrong direction thanks to text messaging and social media. IN a landmark legal ruling, Jesus will receive 2.4% of total UK present sales revenue. THE thing where everyone gets their news has promised to find out what a 'Leveson' is. APPRECIATORS of super strength lager's complex flavours feel they are being victimised by the government. AS Peter Jackson's premieres, Tolkien's easygoing fans are definitely not interested in picking holes in it.

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Humorist Bruce Jay Friedman Is One Lonely Guy—as Anyone Can Plainly See Loneliness is expensive. It takes a lot of money to keep it going. You need throw pillows. You've got to have cookies, liverwurst sandwiches. You have to have a TV set to lull you to sleep. Conspiracy Theorist conspiracy theorist » Bush and His Aides Made 935 False Statements about Iraq In the 2 Years After 9/11 Given the Republican obsession with Benghazi talking points, it’s time for a very specific flashback. In 2008, two non partisan groups released a study that determined that President Bush and his top aides made Read More » According to Math, the Worst Color Shirt to Wear on Star Trek Is Actually Yellow It’s a well known maxim that nobody wants to be a redshirt on Star Trek: The Original Series. The proud members of Operations, Engineering, and Security are the space-expendables, the first line of defense, the… well the ones who always get sent down with the away party full of more important characters and get murdered by the space monster of the week. Like, all the time. But what if, instead of considering this from the viewer’s perspective, you considered it from the perspective of a crewman choosing a line of work?

About - Serial On January 13, 1999, a girl named Hae Min Lee, a senior at Woodlawn High School in Baltimore County, Maryland, disappeared. A month later, her body turned up in a city park. She'd been strangled. Her 17-year-old ex-boyfriend, Adnan Syed, was arrested for the crime, and within a year, he was convicted and sentenced to spend the rest of his life in prison. The case against him was largely based on the story of one witness, Adnan’s friend Jay, who testified that he helped Adnan bury Hae's body. But Adnan has always maintained he had nothing to do with Hae’s death.

The Null Device The results of Eurovision 2014 are in, and, as reported here, the big winner was Austria's Conchita Wurst, a bearded drag performer, with a resolute and melodramatic torch song titled Rise Like A Phoenix. Wurst (whose real name is Tom Neuwirth) won a runaway victory, with 290 points and a string of 12s, including ones from countries who might otherwise haver found a bearded drag performer too transgressive. The runner-up was the Netherlands, 52 points behind with a rather nice piece of slow-burning Americana. 2014 was arguably the most geopolitically charged Eurovision Song Contest in years, if not decades; the kitschy music equivalent of the World Chess Championship of 1972, in that, within its formalised, tightly circumscribed arena, the tensions of an active geopolitical fault line manifested themselves.

Charlie Hebdo investigator took own life hours after attack: report The Associated Press, Paris Wednesday, 14 January 2015 France ordered prosecutors around the country to crack down on hate speech, anti-Semitism and glorifying terrorism, announcing Wednesday that 54 people had been arrested for those offenses since terror attacks left 20 dead in Paris last week, including three gunmen. The order came as Charlie Hebdo’s defiant new issue sold out before dawn around Paris, with scuffles at kiosks over dwindling copies of the satirical newspaper that fronted the Prophet Muhammad anew on its cover. France has been tightening security and searching for accomplices since the terror attacks began, but none of the 54 people have been linked to the attacks. That’s raising questions about whether President Francois Hollande’s Socialist government is impinging on the very freedom of speech that it so vigorously defends when it comes to Charlie Hebdo. In a separate post, the comic wrote an open letter to France’s interior minister.

Capoeira music up to 3 berimbaus up to 2 pandeiros 1 agogô 1 reco-reco (notched wooden tube similar to a guiro) 1 atabaque or conga Not every roda will contain all these instruments. Mestre Bimba, for instance, preferred only one berimbau and two pandeiros in his rodas, but there will always be at least one berimbau in any roda. web > web economy bullshit generator Here's what the critics are saying: Your site is brilliant! The bullshit generator made me feel right at home!— Josh K. I love the web bullshit generator. Report: Majority Of Time In Pool Spent Urging Others To Enter Pool NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Far outstripping the amount of time dedicated to swimming or games, a report released Wednesday by researchers at Rutgers University found that the average person in a pool spends the vast majority of their time urging others to enter as well. “Across demographic groups, we found that an individual will typically spend 80 percent of their time in a pool engaged in various efforts to coax others into joining them in the water,” read the report, noting that roughly half that time is dedicated to making the case that entering the pool will be “fun” or “refreshing” and about a third is allocated toward playful commands or taunts such as “Come on,” “Stop being a baby,” or simply “Just get in already.” “The smallest amount of time is reserved for more aggressive tactics such as splashing people from the pool’s edge or just reaching up and pulling them in if they get close enough.”

Spotlight — RT Programs 1967 - Born in Dushanbe, Tajikistan, USSR 1987 - Applies to Moscow Military Institute 1991 - Military translator 1993 - Founder, Transavia travel agency 1995 - Establishes trans aviation network group, Oostende, Belgium 1995 - Founder, Air Cess,... 31.08.2007 20:00 Spotlight is a 26 minute, in-depth, daily interview programme which focuses on current events in Russia and across the world. Respected Russian journalist Aleksandr Gurnov speaks to people from a broad spectrum of professional backgrounds, including politics, academia, arts, and science. Some 40,000 English football fans have arrived in Russia to watch the Champions League final between Manchester ... Head of the Russian Islamic Committee Geidar Jemal and Financial Analyst Sergey Aleksashenko “Dear ...

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