background preloader

My World and Welcome... Funny Pages: Handy Latin Phrases

My World and Welcome... Funny Pages: Handy Latin Phrases
Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat. It's not the heat, it's the humidity. Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit! God, look at the time! Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est. Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare. Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris. Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? (At a barbeque) Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? Sona si Latine loqueris. Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes If you can read this you're over-educated Vidi Vici Veni I saw, I conquered, I came Vacca foeda Stupid cow Mihi ignosce. Raptus regaliter Royally screwed Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes! Gramen artificiosum odi. Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione. Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo. Nullo metro compositum est. Non curo. Fac ut gaudeam. Visne saltare? O!

http://web.mit.edu/afs/athena.mit.edu/user/d/r/dryfoo/www/Funny-pages/handy-latin.html

why americans should never be allowed to travel I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?" I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."

HUMOR: Chicken Philosophy WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??? Plato: For the greater good. Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side. Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained. Funny Anti Jokes - StumbleUpon What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app!

untitled /************************************/ /* Guidelines to development */ /* on the */ /* HOLLYWOOD OPERATING SYSTEM */ /************************************/ 1. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function. 2. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second. 3. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building. 4. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen.

Students are students In general, the life of a student is hard, but the student life still remains in memory as the most fun. And that is the sames all over the world. - StumbleUpon A Thoughtful Look at Men and Women SHE DRIVES FOR A RELATIONSHIP. HE'S LOST IN THE TRANSMISSION By DAVE BARRY CONTRARY to what many women believe, it's fairly easy to develop a long-term, stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course this guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys, it's extremely difficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what women mean by the term relationship.

True Facts Facts - interesting, provocative, well-seasoned One out of ten children in Europe are conceived on an IKEA bed. Antarctica is the only continent without reptiles or snakes. What Is Globalization? - Global One TV - StumbleUpon Finally, a definition of globalization that one can understand and to which we now can relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Tragically, Princess Diana’s death. Question: Why? 50 Kick-Ass Websites You Need to Know About - Page 3 Prezi.com Pitch a Meeting Microsoft’s Powerpoint is truly a hassle to use when you’ve only got a few hours to put together a full blown presentation. Thankfully, free web services like Prezi offer procrastinating professionals a better way to put together some pretty creative presentations. Prezi takes about five minutes to learn and the slide show is really just one big easel. And, if you want to get super creative, there are numerous tutorials that teach you how to jazz up your presentation with animated segues and mindmapping techniques that will inspire your audience to think outside of the box.

Excuse me waiter, yeah, what the hell is this Excuse me waiter, yeah, what the hell is this Share403 Tweet0 You might like: Getting real tired of your sh! LOTS OF PUNS - StumbleUpon ...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything."

Related:  Cool Stumble WesitesWriting-related