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LOTS OF PUNS

LOTS OF PUNS
...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything." ...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... ...This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face... ...These two strings walk upto a bar... ...This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! ...This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says,"What'll ya have..." ...A neutron walks into a bar. Back

http://www.cis.upenn.edu/~udani/humor/puns.html

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32 Painfully True Facts About Everyday Life Their graphs and diagrams are snarky and sarcastic but, for the most part, true. This, coupled with their simple and official-looking design, makes them a delight to look at. Wulff and Morgenthaler share these images on Wumo (formerly known as Wulffmorgenthaler). Creative Ways of Describing Stupid People (The GOP) Habits explainable if he was raised by wolves. Had a head crash. Half a bubble off plumb. -- attributed to Mark Twain Happiness is seeing her picture on a milk carton. Hard to distinguish from the tail end of a horse. April Fools' Day 2011 - Internet April Fools' Jokes It’s April Fools’ Day, and you know what that means: All of your favorite tech companies, geek brands, and publications have poured inordinate amounts of time and effort into messing with you. But do you want to be momentarily fooled by their messings-with, or, what’s worse, not see them at all as you browse the Internet today? No, of course not. Luckily, Geekosystem is here to help: ThinkGeek

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The 10 Most Puzzling Ancient Artifacts The Bible tells us that God created Adam and Eve just a few thousand years ago, by some fundamentalist interpretations. Science informs us that this is mere fiction and that man is a few million years old, and that civilization just tens of thousands of years old. Could it be, however, that conventional science is just as mistaken as the Bible stories? There is a great deal of archeological evidence that the history of life on earth might be far different than what current geological and anthropological texts tell us.

17 GIFs History Will Never Forget - Dontpokethebear.com These GIFs will live on throughout the ages. 1. This was the dog slap heard round the world. Shakespeare Insult Kit Shakespeare Insult Kit Since 1996, the origin of this kit was listed as anonymous. It came to me on a piece of paper in the 90's with no attribution, and I thought it would make a cool web page. Though I searched for the origin, I could never find it. In 2014, Lara M informed found the originating author. It appears to be an English teacher at Center Grove High School in Greenwood Indiana named Jerry Maguire.

Tablet full of crude jokes and riddles about beer is found - dating from the time of the biblical Exodus By Rob Waugh Updated: 16:52 GMT, 27 January 2012 Crude jokes, beer and a hearty disregard for politicians were part of life in ancient Mesopotamia - 3,500 years ago. A newly translated tablet from the area of present-day Iraq runs through a series of riddles which show that even in 1,500BC, people liked a puzzle. Modern audiences, though, should not expect to have their sides split - or indeed to solve any of the riddles, which are rather tricky (the riddles and their solutions are below).

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