Is FOTU Fueling Millennial Anxiety (and Depression)? “But I’m not sure!”
“What if?” “I don’t know if it’s good enough.” Feelings of uncertainty and doubt come part and parcel with building a life you love. Yet it’s so easy to get hijacked by the anxiety and worry, when we don’t know for sure. We can get paralyzed by the F.O.T.U. Recent surveys suggest that as many as 75% of 25-33 year olds have experienced a quarter-life crisis. Some feelings of angst during this time have always been a normal part of entering adulthood. In a world where our media and political leaders are less and less trustworthy, and social media is ubiquitous, fostering comparisons and competition, FOTU in becoming a big roadblock for many young adults. According to Dr.
FOTU in the Digital Age We humans will do just about anything to avoid uncertainty. Beyond Labels: Getting Past Stigma With How We Think About Mental Health. "Affect Labeling": Step ONE in Emotional Self-Care. What if you could feel less angry, sad, or anxious with just one word?
How great would that be?! Most of the time, instead of doing what works, we just keep doing what we’ve always done, hoping it will work (like it used to). So where does our capacity to do something different start? Recent research shows us that there may be ONE simple skill you can use, which can actually create changes in your brain, emotions, and behavior…. Is The Digital Age Fueling Toxic Reassurance Seeking? Psychological Flexibility: The Super-Skill of Mental Health. I have the words of Bob Dylan floating through my mind these days…..
These past weeks client after client has plopped themselves on my couch, called for skills coaching, or submitted home practice related to the vast changes our world is observing. Skillful Emotional Balance: A Cheat Sheet for Daily Practice. So You Think You’re Self Aware? A Mindful Check In. . If You DARE! Just about anyone you ask thinks they’re super self aware.
Yet we all know so many people we judge to be unaware, distracted, even ‘clueless’ to their own stuff. So, what’s going on here? Are we all in denial? We all have gaps in self-awareness because seeing our foibles naturally causes discomfort. Letting Go of the Argument in your Head. We all know that feeling.
Someone said something, (maybe it was you), which was followed by an unpleasant outcome. Maybe an awkward silence, a ridiculing laughter, a disparaging comment. Or maybe the outcome was simply not at all what you had hoped for. Then its over. But is it? That night the image of the moment comes roaring back in your mind. Now your whole body is engulfed in the virtual reality of the movie in your mind. Are you an Over-Offerer? 3 Steps to Better Boundaries. Why does this keep happening!?
You knew you didn’t want to go to that event… help out with that thing… didn’t have time to get across town for that meeting! But you said you would go…do it… be there anyway. VALIDATION: The Relational Skill that Softens Defenses. Ever found yourself caught in a difficult dialogue with someone (maybe even with yourself), where emotions were escalating, and reasoning not helping?
It can feel like a futile battle as you try everything to stomp out the flickering flames of emotion before a brush fire takes hold! You try to focus on the positive, examine the pros and cons, problem solve for solutions, justify and rationalize, explain, compare, ANYTHING to get the emotions to CALM DOWN! So, does it work? The unsatisfying answer is .. sometimes. Your ETA to Happiness: What You Need to Know. We all want to be happy….
Or at least have more happiness than sadness, anxiety, or anger in our lives. But here’s the deal. There’s a system of interrelated parts, a hard-wiring in all humans, which can derail our happiness. A simple understanding of this system can get you moving in the right direction! Every week I get calls from people eager to figure out how to get out of the quicksand of difficult emotions and get unstuck. Your Unique Mind-Body Vehicle Your mind-body is your vehicle. A Holocaust Survivor’s Story of Resilience and Skillfulness. The tension had been brewing to a boiling point the day the Nazis came to collect young Elizabeth and her older sister.
Dressed and packed with their best things, the trip began almost as an adventurous escape from the abusive constraints of their dictatorial father. Little did Elizabeth know, this was the beginning of the long road of resilience. Today, at 90 years old, Tati, as her loved ones call her, has survived three dictators: her father, Hitler, and Fidel Castro. She is an icon of resilience! Why do some of us thrive in the face of stress, and others struggle? So I asked Tati to talk to me about resilience and her own skillfulness in the face of the many stressors in her life. Resilience is Coping Everyday For Tati, resilience came from coping everyday.