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My collection of funny emails from my inbox.

My collection of funny emails from my inbox.
Subject: 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. "Great!" Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. The priest removed his hand. Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. Lesson 3: "Me first! "Me next! Lesson 4: Lesson 5: Lesson 6:

http://www.yesemails.com/text/managementcourse/

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THE INSULT FILE VERSION 6.13 For the latest version of this file, go to [ ]. You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. Book Country: Discover New Fiction with the Genre Map Publishers, booksellers, and readers describe books by their literary categories, or genres. It's how books are placed in stores and sold online. We created the Genre Map to help you find the right genre for your book. Roll over the map with your cursor to see the different genres. Some categories, such as women's fiction, stand alone. If you select mystery, fantasy, romance, science fiction, or thriller, you'll see the many subgenres that you can explore within these categories.

Telephone Songs Useless Office Skill #163 This is for all of you frustrated musicians...who want to turn all of us into frustrated listeners. ...You can play music on your phone by pressing the buttons on the top (1,2,3)...and along the side (6,9,#). But don't play the 4,5,7,8,*, or 0. They sound even worse than the others.

The Top 75 Pictures of the Year for 2013 Update: if you liked this post, you’ll adore our latest post on the 38 Most Haunting Abandoned Places on Earth HERE. Following on from our very successful blog “100 of the Best Street Art Images of 2013″ (see HERE), we’ve widened the net and thanks to the guys over at Sifter, we bring you the Top 75 Pictures of 2013. All credit goes to the individual photographers and their inspiring visions of our beautiful planet. What’s your favorite? Photograph by strummingmusic on Reddit Photograph by HALEY LUNA The Worst Analogies Ever Written in a High School Essay They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup. From the attic came an unearthly howl.

The illustrated guide to a Ph.D. Imagine a circle that contains all of human knowledge: By the time you finish elementary school, you know a little: By the time you finish high school, you know a bit more: With a bachelor's degree, you gain a specialty: A master's degree deepens that specialty: Reading research papers takes you to the edge of human knowledge: External Tip - 10 Advanced Photoshop Tutorials You Should See In this category we want to give you an advice to other great sites, where you can get a lot of very useful information, inspirations and materials. Here I collected 10 great Photoshop tutorials, which can help you to expand your skills. Create a Devastating Tidal Wave in Photoshop Create Quick Particle Effect on Photo via Custom Brush Options in Photoshop Create a Surreal Upside Down Mountain Painting in Photoshop Business Man – Awesome Black & White Tutorial

Everybody Jump What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant? —Thomas Bennett (and many others) This is one of the most popular questions submitted to this blog. It’s been examined before, including by a ScienceBlogs post and a Straight Dope article. 50 Life Hacks to Simplify your World Life hacks are little ways to make our lives easier. These low-budget tips and trick can help you organize and de-clutter space; prolong and preserve your products; or teach you something (e.g., tie a full Windsor) that you simply did not know before. Most of these came from a great post on tumblr. 60 Selected Best Famous Quotes In this posting you will find my selection of the very best 60 quotes, from nearly a decade of collecting them. They range from the profound to the intriguing to the just plain funny. One way or the other, you’ll surely find many of them to be thought-provoking and entertaining. This selection is, of course, based solely on my personal taste (and even that varies largely from day to day according to my mood). You are welcome to browse the entire collection and look for your own favorite ones or contribute new quotes from your own personal collection.

Happiness Engineer As a Happiness Engineer, helping people is your passion. Maybe you’ve developed your own support philosophy by reading books like Delivering Happiness or Exceptional Service, Exceptional Profit. Perhaps you’re a contributor in an online support community such as the WordPress.com forums or WordPress.org forums. Our goal is to build relationships based on trust which result in happy, passionate, loyal customers and colleagues through listening to their needs and guiding them to the fullest use of the products we offer. Interested in learning more about how our team works? Check out Andrew Spittle’s talk at UserConf.

Relationship Rules Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be loved. Yet people have much trouble doing so. It's clear from the many letters I get that lots of folks have no idea what a healthy relationship even looks like. Because I care about these things, and care about the environments children grow in, I'm using this space as an attempt to remedy the problem—again. LOTS OF PUNS ...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything." ...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman...

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