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Www.math.rutgers.edu/~lenci/jokes/chicken. WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

www.math.rutgers.edu/~lenci/jokes/chicken

Plato: For the greater good. Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained. Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas. Videogame Phrases and Idioms for Everyday Life. Premium Funny: Shakespeare Insult Kit.

Tablet full of crude jokes and riddles about beer is found - dating from the time of the biblical Exodus. By Rob Waugh Updated: 16:52 GMT, 27 January 2012 Crude jokes, beer and a hearty disregard for politicians were part of life in ancient Mesopotamia - 3,500 years ago.

Tablet full of crude jokes and riddles about beer is found - dating from the time of the biblical Exodus

A newly translated tablet from the area of present-day Iraq runs through a series of riddles which show that even in 1,500BC, people liked a puzzle. Modern audiences, though, should not expect to have their sides split - or indeed to solve any of the riddles, which are rather tricky (the riddles and their solutions are below). Cuneiform script as seen in a clay tablet, found at Tell-El-Amarna, Egypt: The location of the tablet of riddles is not known, and the study authors worked from a transcription from 1976. The museum it was in was looted during the 2003 Iraq war 'In your mouth and your teeth (or urine). Answer: Beer. 'The tower is high, but it has no shade.' Answer: Light. He gouged out the eye. Answer: A governor - the joke here could be that a governor is portrayed as executioner. Answer: Auxiliary forces. April Fools' Day 2011 - Internet April Fools' Jokes.

It’s April Fools’ Day, and you know what that means: All of your favorite tech companies, geek brands, and publications have poured inordinate amounts of time and effort into messing with you.

April Fools' Day 2011 - Internet April Fools' Jokes

But do you want to be momentarily fooled by their messings-with, or, what’s worse, not see them at all as you browse the Internet today? No, of course not. Luckily, Geekosystem is here to help: ThinkGeek First off, everyone’s favorite geeky niche retailer is back with a slew of new must-have products that don’t actually exist, including the Playmobil Apple Store Playset (pictured above), Angry Birds Pork Rinds, and a Minecraft USB Desktop Nether Portal. The Googleplex This year, Google has done like a million April Fools’ jokes, some cleverer than others. Meanwhile, YouTube is showcasing the top viral pictures of 1911: And Chrome has rolled out Chromercise!

Instrument Jokes. Strings Woodwinds Brass Percussion Vocal Vocalist Jokes Folk/Rock/Popular Music and Instruments General Acknowledgement These jokes are a continually-growing collection, and unfortunately, I can no longer remember which jokes I heard from whom.

Instrument Jokes

Strings Violin Jokes What's the difference between a violin and a viola? There is no difference. What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? A fiddle is fun to listen to. Why are viola jokes so short? So violinists can understand them. How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog? The dog knows when to stop scratching. How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. String players' motto: "It's better to be sharp than out of tune. " LOTS OF PUNS.

...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission.

LOTS OF PUNS

So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything. " ...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... ...This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face... ...These two strings walk upto a bar... ...This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey!

Funny Anti Jokes.