background preloader

Jokes

Facebook Twitter

World's Best Resignation Letter? Dear Mr.

World's Best Resignation Letter?

Baker, As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during our commission of duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. The Bathtub Test. Imgfave - amazing and inspiring images. Funny Pictures, Images & Really Very Funny Pics. Cute animals videos too. hP2tc.jpg (JPEG Image, 580x893 pixels) - Scaled (70. Good Advice, Military Style. Funny Pictures on your Mobile. Expectations vs. Reality (16 Pics)

Things don’t always go as planned.

Expectations vs. Reality (16 Pics)

Check out the pics below to see a few examples of what happens when our expectations get punched in the face by reality. via via Tickling Expectations: Reality: via via via via via. So Funny I did not Change a Word - Velina. Bilder. Life Lessons: Female Behavior. Blogmonks.gif (GIF Image, 438x700 pixels) - Scaled (85%) The Tailgater. A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard.

The Tailgater

Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman hit the roof -- and the horn -- and screamed in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection on his tail. She was still in mid-rant when she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. How Do I Type That? How I Feel I Look When I Dance. Massaging Chair. Privacy Is Important. If You Don’t Like Our Sense Of Humor… Cool Story, Bro. Britannica Encyclopedia for Sale! Wife knows everything...

For next christmas I NEED that tree! English Grammar and Lexis - Playing With Words. This lovely list of puns arrived in my inbox recently.

English Grammar and Lexis - Playing With Words

I tried to find the original version, but it seems it has been posted many, many times. Random Sentence Game. When a guy says GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH, what's a... - Memerial.net. Cheating.

Tech

Funny lol pictures. A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the b... When Super-Sized Burgers Meet Bite-Sized Brains. In Need Of A Better Outlook. How To Ensure A Blanc Stare. Short-Change Deranged. That Was Random. Gender Fender Bender. Harry & Ginny: The Golden Years. I Came, I Complained, I Became An Employee. You’ve Got An Honest Signature. Not Quite The Cat’s Meow. Sloth Goes Shopping. Premium Funny: Larry Got Schooled. Engineers and Managers. Reality Check. True Romance... A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.

True Romance...

He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. 'No,' she replies... Wait for it... It's coming... The suspense is killing you, isn't it?

The OSTRICH Story. A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The OSTRICH Story

Youre-like-a-drug.jpg (JPEG Image, 400x135 pixels) It might sound funny, but there are ways to get free weed if you don't have money.

youre-like-a-drug.jpg (JPEG Image, 400x135 pixels)

The first thing to add of course it that drugs are bad. You should not use drugs, even if they are free. But if you are going to smoke weed anyway you might as well do so without losing money. Here are some tips. Grow your own Growing your own weed is illegal in many countries and states but not in all. Stop smoking. Pope Joke. The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport.

Pope Joke

Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds onto HWY 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mpg, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Patrol in his mirror.

A LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE from Joe Burton. Funny-movie-test-numbers.jpg (JPEG Image, 516x726 pixels) Wrong number ? Problem Gambling. AFRAID? from Joe Burton.