The OSTRICH Story A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and
Expectations vs. Reality (16 Pics) |
Cars like computers?
Strings Woodwinds Brass Instrument Jokes
Copy Machine Genius - Smarter than your Teacher Teacher: Can you help me, I have been trying for 15 minutes to unjam the copy machine? IT Guy: Did you follow the directions? Teacher: Yes, exactly… IT Guy: Ok, let me see. Open door 2 and …… here it is Teacher: Oh, I didn’t look there.
If I somehow found out who you are, you'd be lucky to escape. There's no cause for nearly breaking an 8 week old puppy's leg. None. It breaks my heart to see her flinch, when all I want to do is pet her. Thankfully we got her out of the shelter when we did, and we are never going to raise our hands to her. Dear blank, please blank.
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. TWO LITTLE BOYS from Joe Burton
www.cs.columbia.edu/sip/sipit/funeral.txt Dear friends, It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
A.S.B. • Who doesn't like a blonde joke? A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
How Twilight Works
Aircraft Carrier Story
MAGIC GREEN HAT from Joe Burton
8 rules for dating my daughter This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection 8 rules for dating my daughter Copyright 1999 W. Bruce Cameron ==> Please do NOT remove the copyright from this essay! <== When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a hand that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds.
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". English
It is possible to understand Engineers - Where there's a will, there's a way. Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway." Understanding Engineers #2