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The OSTRICH Story. A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.


The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours? " "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and. Expectations vs. Reality (16 Pics) Things don’t always go as planned.

Expectations vs. Reality (16 Pics)

Check out the pics below to see a few examples of what happens when our expectations get punched in the face by reality. via via Tickling Expectations: Reality: via via via via via You may also like: Bilder. Cars like computers? Instrument Jokes. Strings Woodwinds Brass Percussion Vocal Vocalist Jokes Folk/Rock/Popular Music and Instruments.

Instrument Jokes

Copy Machine Genius - Smarter than your Teacher. Racism. Dear blank, please blank. Dear world, It is best not to dwell on dreams. Sincerely, just live them. Dear "socially awkward" girls in my class, You are NOT socially awkward. TWO LITTLE BOYS from Joe Burton. Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.

TWO LITTLE BOYS from Joe Burton

They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

Suitcase Stickers. Take a stand against monotonous travel with Suitcase Stickers.

Suitcase Stickers

Designed to stick to anything, they will draw attention to your bag making it easily identifiable and sure to make you some new friends. Caution: Some of these stickers may cause offense to airport and immigration staff. But you would have figured that out whilst enjoying those cavity searches. Buy here. Dear friends, It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following.

Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. Pregnancy tips for Dummies. A friend of mine had this on his blog and I found it again after a few years and it still makes me chuckle.

Pregnancy tips for Dummies

No idea who the original artist is but kudos to them. Part II over at <a rel="nofollow" href=" onclick="javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackEvent','outbound-article',' marketing</a> Who doesn't like a blonde joke? A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. How Twilight Works. All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman.

How Twilight Works

Please don't steal. was lovingly built using CakePHP All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman. Please don't steal. Aircraft Carrier Story. MAGIC GREEN HAT from Joe Burton. 8 rules for dating my daughter. This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection 8 rules for dating my daughter Copyright 1999 W.

8 rules for dating my daughter

Bruce Cameron ==> Please do NOT remove the copyright from this essay! <== When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a hand that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. English. It is possible to understand Engineers - Where there's a will, there's a way. Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?

It is possible to understand Engineers - Where there's a will, there's a way.

" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want. " The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. " Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? The doctor chimed in,"I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf! "