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The OSTRICH Story. A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.


The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours? " "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. Expectations vs. Reality (16 Pics) Bilder. Cars like computers? Instrument Jokes. Strings Woodwinds Brass Percussion Vocal Vocalist Jokes Folk/Rock/Popular Music and Instruments General.

Instrument Jokes

Copy Machine Genius - Smarter than your Teacher. Teacher: Can you help me, I have been trying for 15 minutes to unjam the copy machine? IT Guy: Did you follow the directions? Teacher: Yes, exactly… IT Guy: Ok, let me see. Open door 2 and …… here it is Teacher: Oh, I didn’t look there. IT Guy: Well, I looked at the pretty screen on top. Teacher: Oh, I have trouble with this machine IT Guy: Yeah……this machine. Racism. Dear blank, please blank. Dear world, It is best not to dwell on dreams.

Sincerely, just live them. Dear "socially awkward" girls in my class, You are NOT socially awkward. You each have 20 friends plus, people follow you during lunch so they can talk with you, and you always have at least 5 people to pick from when the teacher tells us to pick partners. Sincerely, a genuine forever alone that always ends up working alone in class and sitting alone at lunch Dear boys who find it awkward to buy condoms tampons etc Please don't. TWO LITTLE BOYS from Joe Burton.

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.

TWO LITTLE BOYS from Joe Burton

They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. Suitcase Stickers. Dear friends, It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following.

Please join me in remembering a great icon. Pregnancy tips for Dummies. A friend of mine had this on his blog and I found it again after a few years and it still makes me chuckle.

Pregnancy tips for Dummies

No idea who the original artist is but kudos to them. Part II over at <a rel="nofollow" href=" onclick="javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackEvent','outbound-article',' marketing</a> <a rel="nofollow" href=" onclick="javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackEvent','outbound-article',' target="_blank">ad exchange</a> Who doesn't like a blonde joke? A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. How Twilight Works. Aircraft Carrier Story. MAGIC GREEN HAT from Joe Burton. 8 rules for dating my daughter.

This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection 8 rules for dating my daughter Copyright 1999 W.

8 rules for dating my daughter

Bruce Cameron ==> Please do NOT remove the copyright from this essay! <== When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a hand that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. The opinions and statements expressed on this page are those of parents who belong to the UC Berkeley Parents Network and should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the University of California, Berkeley. English. It is possible to understand Engineers - Where there's a will, there's a way. Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?

It is possible to understand Engineers - Where there's a will, there's a way.

" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want. " The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway. " Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers #3.