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Thanks to Michaela for forwarding this to me… Excerpts from a Dog’s Daily Diary : 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
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Things I Will Do If I Am Ever the Vampire 1. I will not pick off friends, family or neighbors of the Hero one at a time. This annoys the Hero and drives him into action. They'll still be there when he is dead. 2.
Looking for a woman with evil appetites. We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan) Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord's Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies.
I do not know who originally wrote this but it is a classic . A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Name: _______________________________ Gang: ___________________________ 1. Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip.