The other Guys Quotes? Rimshot. Husband banned from Target. Husband banned from Target After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target. Dear Mrs. Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. 1. 2. How to Grade an Essay. Religions diagram according to Google. The Economics of Gold-Digging. The following story is currently making the rounds on the Internet.
The events probably didn’t happen exactly as described, but for my purposes it doesn’t really matter. Supposedly, a woman posted the following personal ad on Craigslist: What am I doing wrong? Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. The response she got was as follows: Dear Pers-431649184:I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I have to say that the respondent has some pretty sensible economics in his answer. I wouldn’t expect male economists to marry very well. Also, completely contrary to what an economic model might predict, I can’t think of any economist who left his wife in middle age for a younger “trophy” wife. So maybe economists aren’t such heartless, conniving people after all.
(Hat tip: Meng Li.) The Husband Store... The Little Rabbit. A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.
The rabbit looks at her and says,”Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so much better!” The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, “Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up heroin…”Lion my friend, why do you do this? HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER - Amazing Jokes. You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one...
Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate Jennifer was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.' About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. The answer machine at a psychiat. The answer machine at a psychiatric hospital "Hello, welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are: Obsessive-Compulsive, press 1, repeatedly. Co-Dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship. Schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press. Manic-Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. Dyslexic, press 96969696969696. If you have: Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the Pound Button until a representative comes on the line. Sometimes it's just easier this way.