15 Oxymorons". An oxymoron is a combination of words that contradict each other.
Here are some of our favorites. 1. virtual reality 2. original copy 3. old news. The Truth Behind Personal Ads Jokes. Not bad!
27 votes | 4099 views DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS 40-ish - 49 Adventurous - Slept with everyone Athletic - No tits Average looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathological liar Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure - On medication Feminist - Fat Free spirit - Junkie Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person Fun - Annoying New Age - Body hair in the wrong places Open-minded - Desperate Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy drunk Professional - Bitch Voluptuous - Very Fat Large frame - Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate - Stalker WOMEN'S ENGLISH 1.
Best Non-Sex Feeling Ever? Foreign Signs. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.
If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. Why never to ask favors from the Graphic Designers. Story goes : Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster.
This is their email correspondence…Read from top to bottom…. From:Shannon WalkleyDate:Monday 21 June 2010 9.15amTo:David ThorneSubject:Poster HiI opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not too busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon. This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.Thanks Shan.From: David ThorneDate:Monday 21 June 2010 9.26amTo:Shannon WalkleySubject:Re: Poster Dear Shannon,That is shocking news.Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.Regards, David.
Kids talk Science. This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection.
Man Knowledge #1,887. Killer_Biscuits_.JPG (349×480) Haiku error messages. A file that big?
It might be very useful. But now it is gone. Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down. Six Advantages to Not Having Any Money — Almost Frugal. 1.
An empty fridge is easier to clean. No more dirty shelves! And even the hardest to reach nooks and crannies are free of caked-on gunk. I’ve been known to take the bins of the doors of the fridge and run them through the dishwasher. 2. Facebook rant EPIC WIN. 11 Awesomely Incorrect Test Answers from Kids from You're Doing It Right. Cheating. Cookies by Douglas Adams. English. Untitled. Eight Absurd Texts That Make You Wish Your Mom Didn’t Have An iPhone. Mother-in-law. I was happy.
My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? Facebook Changes We’d Actually Want To See. If you had a dollar for every person who posted their hatred of the new Facebook layout, you’d be able to give Mark Zuckerberg a run for his money.
Okay that’s a guess, and most likely a wrong one, but you get our point. When Facebook made its most recent set of changes the Preteen Panic Meter hit “Justin Bieber Has A Girlfriend” levels, and while that demographic made the most noise (mostly high-pitched screams), we weren’t too crazy about the adjustments either. Here are the Facebook Changes We’d Actually Want To See: What the State Motto Really should be... Water is dangerous. This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26.
He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide. " And for plenty of good reasons, since: 20 Biggest Idiots On Facebook. 25 Random “Sarcastic” Funny Short Letters. LaughNet. If Men Made the Rules. Pictures - Yet another iPhone FAIL: Because Auto-Correct is the worst thing...
Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations. Why americans should never be allowed to travel. AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES. LOTS OF PUNS. ...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission.
So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything. " - what to do in an emergency. Hurricane Recipes! Www.cs.columbia.edu/sip/sipit/funeral.txt. Dear friends, It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following.
Please join me in remembering a great icon. Fake iPhone Text - vUB5Q. Awkward. Nargaque.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/planning_vs_the_internet.png. George's Humour - gotta love kids. World's funniest joke. The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.  The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject.
 An Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office. Or2dv.jpg from jwz.org. Dear blank, please blank. Wenn man nicht aufpasst, kann es passieren, dass man ohne es zu merken gleich mehrere Stunden auf der “Dear blank, please blank” Homepage verbringt. Wenn ich nicht so vorsichtig wär, würde ich wahrscheinlich jetzt noch dasitzen und eine lustige Kurznachricht nach der anderen lesen. Wer von euch ausreichend Zeit hat, sollte sich die Seite nicht entgehen lassen. Es ist jedoch besser die Finger davon zu lassen, wenn man noch bei der Arbeit ist. Für diejenigen habe ich hier eine kurze Light-Version zusammengestellt: He could be your boss one day. Headline of the year?