15 Oxymorons". An oxymoron is a combination of words that contradict each other.
Here are some of our favorites. 1. virtual reality 2. original copy 3. old news 4. act naturally. The Truth Behind Personal Ads Jokes. Not bad!
27 votes | 4099 views DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS 40-ish - 49 Adventurous - Slept with everyone Athletic - No tits Average looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathological liar Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure - On medication Feminist - Fat Free spirit - Junkie Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person Fun - Annoying New Age - Body hair in the wrong places Open-minded - Desperate Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy drunk Professional - Bitch Voluptuous - Very Fat Large frame - Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate - Stalker WOMEN'S ENGLISH 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. MEN'S ENGLISH 1.
And finally..... Best Non-Sex Feeling Ever? Foreign Signs. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.
If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. Why never to ask favors from the Graphic Designers. Story goes : Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster.
This is their email correspondence…Read from top to bottom…. From:Shannon WalkleyDate:Monday 21 June 2010 9.15amTo:David ThorneSubject:Poster HiI opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not too busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon. This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.Thanks Shan.From: David ThorneDate:Monday 21 June 2010 9.26amTo:Shannon WalkleySubject:Re: Poster Dear Shannon,That is shocking news.Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.Regards, David.
Kids talk Science. This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection.
Man Knowledge #1,887. Killer_Biscuits_.JPG (349×480) Haiku error messages. Six Advantages to Not Having Any Money — Almost Frugal. Facebook rant EPIC WIN. 11 Awesomely Incorrect Test Answers from Kids from You're Doing It Right. Cheating. Cookies by Douglas Adams.
English. Untitled. Eight Absurd Texts That Make You Wish Your Mom Didn’t Have An iPhone. Dad’s Birthday Surprise Mom Always Knew Mom Discovers Internet Lingo.
Mother-in-law. I was happy.
My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? Facebook Changes We’d Actually Want To See. If you had a dollar for every person who posted their hatred of the new Facebook layout, you’d be able to give Mark Zuckerberg a run for his money.
What the State Motto Really should be... Water is dangerous. This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26.
He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide. " And for plenty of good reasons, since: it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting it is a major component in acid rain it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state accidental inhalation can kill you it contributes to erosion it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. He feels the conclusion is obvious. 20 Biggest Idiots On Facebook.
25 Random “Sarcastic” Funny Short Letters. To whom these may concern.
LaughNet. If Men Made the Rules. Pictures - Yet another iPhone FAIL: Because Auto-Correct is the worst thing... Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations. The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child? "Witness: "I only have one, you know. " Why americans should never be allowed to travel. I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES. LOTS OF PUNS. ...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. - what to do in an emergency. Hurricane Recipes!
This weekend was a “hurricane”! You remained calm and refused to overreact, right? False, you totally flipped your lid and bought 234 of every non-perishable item at Gristedes. First of all, you should have gone to Food Emporium, and second, what do we do with all this stuff now that the hurricane AND the MTV VMAs are over? Www.cs.columbia.edu/sip/sipit/funeral.txt. Dear friends, It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. Fake iPhone Text - vUB5Q.
Awkward. Nargaque.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/planning_vs_the_internet.png. George's Humour - gotta love kids. World's funniest joke. The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.  The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject.  An Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office. Or2dv.jpg from jwz.org. Dear blank, please blank.
Wenn man nicht aufpasst, kann es passieren, dass man ohne es zu merken gleich mehrere Stunden auf der “Dear blank, please blank” Homepage verbringt. Wenn ich nicht so vorsichtig wär, würde ich wahrscheinlich jetzt noch dasitzen und eine lustige Kurznachricht nach der anderen lesen. Wer von euch ausreichend Zeit hat, sollte sich die Seite nicht entgehen lassen. Es ist jedoch besser die Finger davon zu lassen, wenn man noch bei der Arbeit ist. He could be your boss one day. Headline of the year? Headline of the year?