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15 Oxymorons". An oxymoron is a combination of words that contradict each other.

15 Oxymorons"

Here are some of our favorites. 1. virtual reality. The Truth Behind Personal Ads Jokes. Not bad!

The Truth Behind Personal Ads Jokes

27 votes | 4099 views DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS 40-ish - 49 Adventurous - Slept with everyone Athletic - No tits Average looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathological liar Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure - On medication Feminist - Fat Free spirit - Junkie Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person Fun - Annoying New Age - Body hair in the wrong places Open-minded - Desperate Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy drunk Professional - Bitch Voluptuous - Very Fat Large frame - Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate - Stalker WOMEN'S ENGLISH 1.

Yes = No 2. Best Non-Sex Feeling Ever? Foreign Signs. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.

Foreign Signs

If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: Why never to ask favors from the Graphic Designers. Story goes : Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster.

Why never to ask favors from the Graphic Designers

This is their email correspondence…Read from top to bottom…. From:Shannon WalkleyDate:Monday 21 June 2010 9.15amTo:David ThorneSubject:Poster HiI opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not too busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon. This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.Thanks Shan.From: David ThorneDate:Monday 21 June 2010 9.26amTo:Shannon WalkleySubject:Re: Poster Dear Shannon,That is shocking news.Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.Regards, David.

Kids talk Science. This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS: * "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.

Kids talk Science

Oxygin is pure gin. Man Knowledge #1,887. Killer_Biscuits_.JPG (349×480) Haiku error messages. A file that big?

Haiku error messages

It might be very useful. But now it is gone. Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Six Advantages to Not Having Any Money — Almost Frugal. 1.

Six Advantages to Not Having Any Money — Almost Frugal

An empty fridge is easier to clean. No more dirty shelves! And even the hardest to reach nooks and crannies are free of caked-on gunk. I’ve been known to take the bins of the doors of the fridge and run them through the dishwasher. 2. Facebook rant EPIC WIN. 11 Awesomely Incorrect Test Answers from Kids from You're Doing It Right. Cheating. Cookies by Douglas Adams. English. Untitled. Eight Absurd Texts That Make You Wish Your Mom Didn’t Have An iPhone.

Mother-in-law. I was happy.

Mother-in-law

My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing that bothering me, quite a lot indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. Facebook Changes We’d Actually Want To See. If you had a dollar for every person who posted their hatred of the new Facebook layout, you’d be able to give Mark Zuckerberg a run for his money.

Facebook Changes We’d Actually Want To See

Okay that’s a guess, and most likely a wrong one, but you get our point. When Facebook made its most recent set of changes the Preteen Panic Meter hit “Justin Bieber Has A Girlfriend” levels, and while that demographic made the most noise (mostly high-pitched screams), we weren’t too crazy about the adjustments either. What the State Motto Really should be...

Water is dangerous. This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26.

Water is dangerous

He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide. " And for plenty of good reasons, since: it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting it is a major component in acid rain it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state accidental inhalation can kill you it contributes to erosion it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. 20 Biggest Idiots On Facebook.

25 Random “Sarcastic” Funny Short Letters. LaughNet. If Men Made the Rules. Pictures - Yet another iPhone FAIL: Because Auto-Correct is the worst thing... Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations. The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child? "Witness: "I only have one, you know.

" Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? "Witness: "By death. " Why americans should never be allowed to travel. I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii? " AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES. LOTS OF PUNS. ...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission.

So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything.

" ...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... - what to do in an emergency. Hurricane Recipes! This weekend was a “hurricane”! You remained calm and refused to overreact, right? False, you totally flipped your lid and bought 234 of every non-perishable item at Gristedes. Www.cs.columbia.edu/sip/sipit/funeral.txt. Dear friends, It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Fake iPhone Text - vUB5Q. Awkward. Nargaque.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/planning_vs_the_internet.png. George's Humour - gotta love kids. World's funniest joke.

An Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office. Or2dv.jpg from jwz.org. Dear blank, please blank. He could be your boss one day. Headline of the year?