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An oxymoron is a combination of words that contradict each other. Here are some of our favorites. 1. virtual reality http://people.howstuffworks.com/15-oxymorons.htm

15 Oxymorons"

Not bad! 27 votes | 3135 views DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS 40-ish - 49 Adventurous - Slept with everyone Athletic - No tits Average looking - Ugly Beautiful - Pathological liar Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure - On medication Feminist - Fat Free spirit - Junkie Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person Fun - Annoying New Age - Body hair in the wrong places Open-minded - Desperate Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing Passionate - Sloppy drunk Professional - Bitch Voluptuous - Very Fat Large frame - Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate - Stalker WOMEN'S ENGLISH 1. Yes = No 2. http://www.humorsharing.com/the-truth-behind-personal-ads/1966

The Truth Behind Personal Ads Jokes

Foreign Signs

http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/foreign-signs.html In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
Story goes : Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence… Read from top to bottom…. From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am To: David Thorne Subject: Poster Hi I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not too busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon. This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number. Thanks Shan.

Why never to ask favors from the Graphic Designers | Funny Emails

http://www.eligr.com/2010/08/why-never-to-ask-favors-from-the-graphic-designers/
http://parents.berkeley.edu/jokes/science.html This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS: * "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin.

Kids talk Science

http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/error-haiku.html

Haiku error messages

A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data.
1. An empty fridge is easier to clean. No more dirty shelves! And even the hardest to reach nooks and crannies are free of caked-on gunk. I’ve been known to take the bins of the doors of the fridge and run them through the dishwasher. 2.

Six Advantages to Not Having Any Money — Almost Frugal

http://almostfrugal.com/2009/02/06/six-advantages-to-not-having-any-money/

Cookies by Douglas Adams

http://www.woltermanns.com/misc/cookies_Adams.htm Cookies by Douglas Adams (author: "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy") This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K.
I was happy. My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing that bothering me, quite a lot indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be.

Mother-in-law

http://www.avolites.org.uk/jokes/motherinlaw.htm
http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm

Funny and Inspirational Quotes

Answering Machine Funny Answering Machine Messages ... "Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can." "Hey guess who this is? You guessed it.

Facebook Changes We’d Actually Want To See

If you had a dollar for every person who posted their hatred of the new Facebook layout, you’d be able to give Mark Zuckerberg a run for his money. Okay that’s a guess, and most likely a wrong one, but you get our point. When Facebook made its most recent set of changes the Preteen Panic Meter hit “Justin Bieber Has A Girlfriend” levels, and while that demographic made the most noise (mostly high-pitched screams), we weren’t too crazy about the adjustments either.