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5 Absurd Ways Comic Books Have Resurrected Dead Superheroes. Superhero comics have an inherent problem.

5 Absurd Ways Comic Books Have Resurrected Dead Superheroes

They are intended to run indefinitely, so you can't really kill off characters. Yet we the reader need to fear for the character's lives when danger is about. They deal with this by repeatedly killing off the good guys, and bringing them back ... often in the most absurd and/or insane way possible... Spider-Man Gives Birth to Himself In a storyline titled "Changes," Spider-Man has to fight The Queen, a ridiculously powerful villainess no one has ever heard of before.

The Queen eventually lets Spider-Man escape, having accomplished her goal. The Queen then tracks Spider-Spider-Man down and takes him to her lair, where he can finish his transformation into Frodo's worst nightmare. So even though Spider-Spider-Man is still male, and The Queen never boned him as promised (tease!) "Oh well.

6 Great Martial Arts for Killing a Man With Your Bare Hands. Were you one of those guys who took Tae Kwon Do or Karate lessons as a kid?

6 Great Martial Arts for Killing a Man With Your Bare Hands

Did you learn to break little boards with your fist, and dream of becoming the baddest man on the planet? 5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy. We all understand that action movies are cheesy escapism.

5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy

After all, could one commando really take out a whole compound full of bad guys? Actually, yes. It turns out the history books are full of stories of soldiers doing things so badass they'd hesitate to put them into a film for fear of killing the realism. Like these five, for example. Who Was He? Simo Hayha had a fairly boring life in Finland. Since the majority of fighting took place in the forest, he figured the best way to stop the invasion was to grab his trusty rifle, a couple of cans of food and hide in a tree all day shooting Russians. 15 More Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped. Welcome to the fifth installment in our never-ending quest to bring you the craziest, realest images on the web (see Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four).

15 More Images You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped

6 Things That Shouldn't Explode (But Did Anyway) Michael Bay is right: Somewhere, right now, something is exploding.

6 Things That Shouldn't Explode (But Did Anyway)

And we're not talking bombs and tankers either. As it turns out, there are objects all over the place that will suddenly explode the shit out of themselves for absolutely no reason at all, and often when you least expect it. Things like... Imagine this scene: You sleep through your alarm and have to skip a shower to make the bus on time, only the elevator to your apartment jams and you miss the bus anyway and have to take a cab. The cabbie helpfully ignores your directions and instead takes the long route to run the meter up. Basically you are Peter Parker. Utterly defeated, you sink into your ergonomically designed desk chair, which then blows the fuck up like Danny Glover's toilet in Lethal Weapon 2.

7 Man-Made Substances that Laugh in the Face of Physics. The universe is full of weird substances like liquid metal and whatever preservative keeps Larry King alive. The 6 Most Badass Skills You Can Learn in Under a Week. How many times have you watched an action movie and thought to yourself "Man, it must take years of training to be able to pull that off?

The 6 Most Badass Skills You Can Learn in Under a Week

" 7 Books We Lost to History That Would Have Changed the World. The vast majority of the knowledge humans have assembled over the centuries, has been lost.

7 Books We Lost to History That Would Have Changed the World

The world's geniuses either kept their revelations to themselves and then died, or else they put it down on paper which has long since rotted or burned or been used to line some parakeet's cage. Obviously we'll never know what great books have been lost to time, but we have clues on some of them, and what those clues tell us is mind-boggling, and a little bit depressing. 5 Ways To Hack Your Brain Into Awesomeness.

Much of the brain is still mysterious to modern science, possibly because modern science itself is using brains to analyze it.

5 Ways To Hack Your Brain Into Awesomeness

There are probably secrets the brain simply doesn't want us to know. 6 Things You Won't Believe Are More Legal Than Marijuana. Since we can't have a website without readers, it's important to us that you not wind up dead or in jail.

6 Things You Won't Believe Are More Legal Than Marijuana

So when we continue to point out crazy shit that we can't believe is still legal, we're trusting you to not run out and buy these items and then use them to destroy your whole neighborhood. Because you totally could. A Lightsaber and Blaster Rifle If you had any sort of childhood, you spent a healthy portion of it wishing like hell you had either Luke Skywalker's lightsaber or Han Solo's blaster. Well, got your checkbook ready? 6 Glitches That Accidentally Invented Modern Gaming. Half of the art you enjoy every day is probably due to some happy accident. For instance, most of the tension in Jaws can be credited to the fact that the fake shark they were using was a mechanical nightmare and too ridiculous to show on screen.

You wouldn't think video games would be subject to this, however -- a mistake in the code of a game would most likely just melt your Xbox (again) rather than invent some fun new game mechanic. 6 Laws You've Broken Without Even Realizing It. None of us can claim with a straight face that we've never done anything illegal, be it speeding, drunkenly stealing a shrink-wrapped pickle from a bowling alley or hunting the homeless for sport.

6 Laws You've Broken Without Even Realizing It

But on the whole, we're upstanding citizens. After all, it's not like we're out there breaking the law on a daily basis. Wanna bet? Because all of the stuff below is illegal in most of, if not all of, the United States. If you live outside the U.S., you need to double check to see if you can get jail time for ... #6. Due to the current popularity of tiny computers and man's relentless desire to watch nudity absolutely everywhere, Wi-Fi hotspot usage is on the rise. GettyAnd by "email" we mean "hardcore dwarf BDSM porn.

" Hell, if they left it unsecured, they probably WANT people to use it, right? Oh wait ... it totally can. Getty"I told you, all but one of those dwarfs consented! " 6 Real People With Mind-Blowing Mutant Superpowers. If the insane, explosive popularity if superhero movies is any indication, we are fascinated by people who are insanely better than us at any given thing. Probably because, in real life, we're all such a bunch of incompetent boobs that we've been enslaved by blue paint, flashing lights and crying French babies. But it turns out, superpowers are real. And not just the secret ones that everyone has, or even the ones everyone thinks they have -- this Cracked Classic is about a group of people that, in a sane world, would already have multi-colored leather jumpsuits, delightfully mismatched personality traits and a skyscraper shaped like whatever they decide to call themselves.

6 Sci-Fi Technologies You'll Soon Have On Your Cell Phone. There's probably nothing you can do to impress a time traveler from the year 1950 more than showing him your cell phone. They're so ubiquitous that we take the little technological marvels for granted. And, we bet if you could travel into the future just five or 10 years, it would be the evolution of the cell phone that would blow your mind the most. Some of the stuff that's in the works right now: Let's be honest: Despite all the advances in phone technology and the slew of cool applications currently available, we're all still waiting for the day when our Blackberry Storms can play holographic 3D messages for us like R2D2. "This is Sue from Blockbuster calling to remind you that The Mummy Returns is now 27 days overdue.

" Well, cell phone manufactures apparently feel the same way. Regardless, companies seem to be taking the idea seriously, because prototypes continue to be developed that emphasize the 3D display instead of just using it as a novelty. What is the Monkeysphere? "One death is a tragedy. One million deaths is a statistic. " -Kevin Federline What do monkeys have to do with war, oppression, crime, racism and even e-mail spam? You'll see that all of the random ass-headed cruelty of the world will suddenly make perfect sense once we go Inside the Monkeysphere. 6 Things You Won't Believe Science Can Do With DNA. DNA gets a bad rap.