15 Little Ways to Deepen Your Relationship With Anyone. 1. Spend a Sunday with them. Not a Saturday night, when everything is bustling and loud and socially seamless. Spend a Sunday morning with them, tired and hungover and without plans for the day. Eat breakfast together and don't fix your hair. Experience each other without needing to entertain. 2. Be comfortably silent. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. Also on HuffPost: 7 Awesome Ways Relationships Can Boost Your Health Relationships Can Help Boost Cancer Survival ... A just-published study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology suggests that marriage may help improve cancer survival rates.
Getty image ... Last spring, the same researchers who looked at how social ties may influence breast cancer survival published a study that found that breast cancer patients who regularly have positive social interactions -- and who have strong support overall -- are better able to deal with the associated emotional stress and pain of cancer. Being Social Can Combat Cognitive Decline ... 8 Secret Ways We Influence Others With Our Body Language. A Way to Have Conversations That Will Lead to Deeper Relationships. When I was a mama of three very tiny, very messy, very beautiful rug rats, we had DAYS THAT WENT ON FOR LIFETIMES. Craig left at 6:00 am every morning and as I watched his showered, ironed self leave the house I felt incredibly blessed and thrilled to have so much time alone with my babies and incredibly terrified and bitter to have so much time alone with my babies.
If you don’t believe that all of those feelings can exist at once—well, you’ve never been a parent to many tiny, messy, beautiful rug rats. When Craig returned each day at 6:00 pm (he actually returned at 5:50 but took a STUNNINGLY LONG TIME TO GET THE MAIL) he’d walk through the door, smile, and say— “So! This question was like a spotlight pointed directly at the chasm between his experience of a “DAY” and my experience of a “DAY.” And I’d want to say: How was my day? Today has been a lifetime. It was the best of times and the worst of times. I was both lonely and absolutely desperate to be alone. But I’m not complaining.
12 Steps to Getting Someone to Open Up.
Become a Better Conversationalist With the "Rule of Three" What a difference a word can make. People spend a good deal of time talking to one another, and in general we do it pretty well. We might feel excited, angry, embarrassed, or — if we’re lucky — loved, in the course of our daily conversations. So is there any benefit to thinking about a science of talk? Can we really gain anything from scientific analysis of something we “just do”? I believe we can, and I’ve spent the last 20 years studying real talk from real people talking to each other in real time. Take this ordinary telephone call between two friends, Nancy and Hyla, transcribed according to the standard conversation analysis transcription system, which includes intonation and the actual sounds being made rather than just the correct spelling of a word (lines under a word represent emphasis and different movements in pitch, the equals sign means that the turns are very rapid): On the face of it, this is utterly mundane.
Perhaps this seems obvious. Like Nancy, Gordon produces an answering “hello.” 1. 2. 3. 4. 9 Phrases Smart People Never Use In Conversation. We’ve all said things that people interpreted much differently than we thought they would. These seemingly benign comments lead to the awful feeling that only comes when you’ve planted your foot firmly into your mouth. Verbal slip-ups often occur because we say things without knowledge of the subtle implications they carry. Understanding these implications requires social awareness—the ability to pick up on the emotions and experiences of other people.
TalentSmart has tested the emotional intelligence (EQ) of more than a million people and discovered that social awareness is a skill in which many of us are lacking. We lack social awareness because we’re so focused on what we’re going to say next—and how what other people are saying affects us—that we completely lose sight of other people. This is a problem because people are complicated. The beauty of social awareness is that a few simple adjustments to what you say can vastly improve your relationships with other people. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 5 Rules for Getting Along with Anyone, Anywhere. An Unusual Trick For Seeming Smart Anywhere, Anytime. 3 Things To Do For An Awesome First Impression (Says Science) | YourTango.
By Christine Schoenwald First impressions can be powerful and long-lasting, so you'd think they would take a lot of time and consideration when being formed. Sadly, that's not the case. A first impression takes about 7 seconds -- 7 fast, little seconds that might make or break your career, or influence your future spouse that you're worthy of speaking to. It isn't that you're following your intuition, as these instincts aren't coming from your gut; they're a type of unconscious thinking called rapid cognition. "I think the word intuition is a loaded word. It's loaded with so many negative connotations," said Malcolm Gladwell, author of the book Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking. The powerful ability to quickly go through huge amounts of surface information subconsciously, and decide what's most important without taking any extra time is called thin-slicing. This article originally appeared on YourTango.
Also on HuffPost: Close alamy Quick Body Scan. To Stop Procrastinating, Start by Understanding the Emotions Involved. The 7 Judgments People Make When They First Meet You | YourTango. By Caithlin Pena Have you ever wondered what someone's first impression of you is? Do you look like someone they can trust, or do you appear like an obnoxious individual before you even open your mouth? Do your clothes give a positive or negative impression? It's superficial to judge someone based solely on looks, but unfortunately, it's human nature. Even though we as a society are slowly breaking away from that, first impressions sometimes just stick, even if they stray from the far truth of who another person is. Business Insider recently produced this video that summarizes 7 first impressions people perceive after meeting someone new: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.
So what does this mean? Do you agree with these first impressions? This article originally appeared on YourTango. More from YourTango:How To Make A Confident First ImpressionHow To Take Sexy Selfies (As Explained By Barbie)First Impressions Are EverythingPerk Up! Also on HuffPost: Close Baby Penguin Meets Human. People Who Possess This One Skill Are More Likable In Social Settings. Recently, I attended a wedding at the incredible W Hotel in Dallas, TX. It was a great time. Everybody was dressed up; the champagne was flowing. Everyone was looking good and feeling good. I often joke that I am going to offer services to be a “professional plus-one” at weddings for my career. I’ll have a website where people can rent me as their date for the weekend for three easy payments of $19.95.
I’ve been to a lot of weddings over the past few years, and I feel like I work the crowd pretty well. I chat up the mother of the bride, teach the young nephew how to do “The Wobble,” talk sports with the grandfather; shake hands, crack jokes, kiss cheeks, hug randoms and all that good wedding stuff. I feel like a young Vince Vaughn in “Wedding Crashers.” A bucket list item for me is to be at a wedding where I don’t know a single person, but I somehow give a killer speech. The wedding I attended in Texas wasn’t just a regular wedding, though; it was the wedding of my girlfriend’s brother. 1. Being Herd: The difference between persuasion and manipulation - Indianapolis Recorder Newspaper: Blogs. When we communicate, more often than not we are trying to convince someone to do something, make a decision or agree with our line of thinking.
Understanding how people form opinions, arguments and present facts is critical in business. But there is a delicate dance that occurs between persuasion and manipulation and it is important to understand the difference between each. The difference between persuasion and manipulation lies in: 1) The intent behind your desire to persuade that person, 2) The truthfulness and transparency of the process, and 3) The net benefit or impact on that person.
Manipulation implies persuasion with the intent to fool, control or contrive the person on the other side of the conversation into doing something, believing something, or buying into something that leaves them either harmed or without benefit. It may also imply that you are concealing a desire to move them to your point of view in a way that will benefit you. That’s manipulation. That’s persuasion. Do You Want People to Understand You? Stop Doing This. 4 Ways the Power of Suggestion Can Change Your Life. Want To Make A Good Impression? Try This Trick. In her new book No One Understands You And What to Do About It, social psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson takes a closer look at why we're misunderstood. Unsurprisingly, when people misunderstand us, it often has to do with an inaccurate first impression. Halvorson says that although we're always able to identify our first impressions of others, whether they're true or not, we're not so great at knowing how we come across.
We usually have no idea how we've been perceived, which makes damage control pretty tricky. To override this natural bias, she recommends consulting a friend for some brutal honesty. “Take somebody you really know who you trust," Halvorson told Science of Us. The answer may not what you want to hear, but it will give you better insight into how you're perceived. According to University of Toronto researcher Nicholas Rule, it takes a lot of effort to overcome a first impression, whether it was negative or positive. Hey, a little honesty can go a long way. H/T Science of Us. Make a Great Impression. Curb Conversational Narcissism He's talking about his new Subaru, which reminds you of the battle you waged—and won—with that smarmy Hertz-rental-car dealer in Miami last month. This "faux segue" is a big no-no, says psychologist and business consultant Valerie White. "We are tempted to share impressive things about ourselves, but the one idea you should keep in mind is 'How am I making the other person feel?
' " Actively encourage others to talk about themselves, and respond genuinely—without bringing it back to you. Don't Betray Your Anxiety "If you're not quick-witted or well-versed in certain subjects, you can still make a great impression," White says. Fake a Sunny Mood "Be yourself" is solid first-impression advice from cognitive scientists and self-help gurus alike. The Eyes Have It If you want to get to know a stranger, break with body language conventions by catching her eye for more than a second. Get in Sync Minerva Studio/Shutterstock Use Flattery, Sparingly The Do-Over. How to turn small talk into smart conversation.
Imagine almost any situation where two or more people are gathered—a wedding reception, a job interview, two off-duty cops hanging out in a Jacuzzi. What do these situations have in common? Almost all of them involve people trying to talk with each other. But in these very moments where a conversation would enhance an encounter, we often fall short. We can’t think of a thing to say. Or worse, we do a passable job at talking. We stagger through our romantic, professional and social worlds with the goal merely of not crashing, never considering that we might soar. We at What to Talk About headquarters set out to change this. Ask for stories, not answers One way to get beyond small talk is to ask open-ended questions. Instead of . . . Try . . . Break the mirror When small talk stalls out, it’s often due to a phenomenon we call “mirroring.” Mirrored example: James: It’s a beautiful day! See? Non-mirrored example: James: It’s a beautiful day!
See? Leapfrog over the expected response. A shy person’s guide to making (and surviving) small talk. A few weeks into kindergarten, my teacher contacted my mother to express her concern over my behavior. “Mrs. Vendetti,” she began, “I don’t want to cause alarm but I think there’s something wrong with your daughter. She doesn’t talk to anyone. She just plays in the corner by herself. All the time.” First, I would like to congratulate myself on being a strong, independent woman who didn’t need no man (or companions) at the age of six. Bravo. 1) Plan conversation topics ahead of time. I’m not suggesting you should memorize a list of responses like some telemarketer trying to predict their customer’s response. 2) Ask a lot of questions.
Nothing causes more distress than the dreaded “awkward silence.” 3) Actually listen to their responses. When it comes to talking with strangers, half of the battle is attentively listening and constructing follow up questions. 4) Fake it ’til you make it. 5) Smile. Smiling is a godsend. 7 Ways to Make Small Talk Work for You. 9 Ways to Increase Your Charisma. Why the Look on Your Face May Matter More Than What You Say.
3 Steps to Boosting Your Charisma. Make a Great Impression. Here's the science behind first impressions — and how to make up for a bad one. This is Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson, and she's going to help us understand why first impressions are so important. GIFs from Big Think. Dr. Grant Halvorson is a social psychologist and associate director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia Business School. Confirmation bias is the brain's tendency to seek out information that confirms our existing beliefs. This magical button delivers Upworthy stories to you on Facebook: Confirmation bias is something that affects us all.
But it's the primacy effect that explains why our brains really emphasize the first information we receive about a person or topic. The primacy effect is kind of like the overzealous sibling of confirmation bias. You know how people stress the importance of first impressions? Here's why they're right, according to science: Thanks to the primacy effect and confirmation bias, first impressions get a whole lot of weight when it comes to how we perceive (and are perceived by) other people. Dr. Why? Do You Really Want to Know What People Think of You? What Does Your Face Really Tell the World About You? 10 Daily Habits Of Successful, Intelligent People | YourTango. By Brenda Della Casa There are some who believe that successful people spend their weekends working overtime, but you'd be mistaken to equate success with a workaholic mindset. The truth is that most of those who are successful use their weekends as a way to productively unwind and connect with themselves, their loved ones, and their goals.
According to Laura Vanderkam, author of What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend, successful people value the importance of productive relaxation, which allows them to recharge and reconnect with themselves and their goals. We're sharing 10 habits that will aid in your goal-getting. 1. They enjoy waking up early. While they may not get out of bed at their normal 5:30 a.m., they're also not crawling out from under-the-covers at noon. 2. 3. Running from one commitment to another isn't a sign of success; it's exhausting. 4. 5. 6.
The whole concept of FOMO ("fear of missing out") is a bit childish to them. 7. 8. 9. 10. Also on HuffPost: Close. 13 Habits of Exceptionally Likable People. Too many people succumb to the mistaken belief that being likable comes from natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few—the good looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented.
It’s easy to fall prey to this misconception. In reality, being likable is under your control, and it’s a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ). In a study conducted at UCLA, subjects rated over 500 adjectives based on their perceived significance to likeability. The top-rated adjectives had nothing to do with being gregarious, intelligent, or attractive (innate characteristics). Instead, the top adjectives were sincerity, transparency, and capacity for understanding (another person). These adjectives, and others like them, describe people who are skilled in the social side of emotional intelligence. Related: 9 Things Successful People Won't Do We did some digging to uncover the key behaviors that emotionally intelligent people engage in that make them so likable. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Jedi Mind Tricks: 17 Lesser Known Ways to Persuade People. Formal_apology0-size-790x0.jpg (JPEG Image, 790x591 pixels) - Scaled (85%)