Great quotes by comedians ----- Begin NetScrap(TM) ----- Great quotes by comedians "If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me." --Bobcat Goldthwait "I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money." --Kevin Meaney "My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat.
[Note: This list of Einstein quotes was being forwarded around the Internet in e-mail, so I decided to put it on my web page. I'm afraid I can't vouch for its authenticity, tell you where it came from, who compiled the list, who Kevin Harris is, or anything like that. Still, the quotes are interesting and enlightening.] "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent.
Human World The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth. When Albert Einstein died, his final words died with him. The nurse at his side didn't understand German.
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"Witness: "I only have one, you know."
Sensei After I broke up the fight with one hand and didn't spill the cup of water in my other hand, I really felt like a true black belt. tags: martial arts middle school teacher [add]