Avoid the Tendency to Think Your Way is the True Way. By Leo Babauta One thing I’ve been noticing in myself over the last few months, and I see other people doing it all the time, is thinking that my way is the right way to do things.
I bet you do it too. We all do it — if we’re not worried that we’re doing things the wrong way, we seem to be sure that our way is the right way. Weirdly, I think we do both of these all the time. Some ways I’ve thought my way was the best way recently: I judge people who don’t eat as healthy as me. In other words, I judge everyone, in some way or another, for being different from me. This is, of course, just our natural reaction to other people who are different than us.
We want diversity. And so I urge you to pay attention to when you are thinking your way is better than someone else’s. How can we drop judgment and embrace curiosity? Martha Graham on the Hidden Danger of Comparing Yourself to Others. Agnes de Mille had just achieved the greatest success of her career, but right now the only thing she felt was confusion.
She was a dancer and a choreographer. Early in her career, de Mille had created the choreography for a ballet called Three Virgins and a Devil. She thought it was good work, but nobody made much of it. A few years later, de Mille choreographed a ballet named Rodeo. Again, she thought her work was solid, but it resulted in little commercial fame. Then, in 1943, de Mille choreographed Oklahoma! But the success of Oklahoma! Martha was Martha Graham, perhaps the most influential dance choreographer of the 20th century.
During their conversation, de Mille told Martha Graham about her frustration. Graham responded by saying, “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. The Uselessness of Judging Yourself. 3 Reasons We Should Be Slow to Judge. When I think of key leadership qualities, decisiveness is always high on the list.
The ability to quickly size up a situation and act is essential. Courtesy of iStock/Klubovy But sometimes we can be too fast. And that’s especially true when it comes to criticism. Every day in America between five hundred and a thousand people die because of medical errors. It’s the same way with criticism. Avoiding a Bad Diagnosis Identifying what’s wrong with a situation—including the attitude and actions of the people involved—is absolutely necessary in business and the rest of our lives. When I launched my mastermind group, for instance, I caught flak for the price. I could see where these people were coming from, but they missed the boat.
As leaders, we always face criticism. With that in mind, there are at least three reasons we should be slow to judge. Negative Thoughts. Criticism. Practicing Non-Judgment. By Leo Babauta We go through our day judging our experiences, other people, ourselves: this is good, this is bad.
If all goes well, most of it will be good, but more than we realize, we dislike certain experiences, things about people, about ourselves. We “like” online comments by others, or pages on the Internet. We give a thumbs up or thumbs down to movies, to restaurant experiences, songs. It’s ingrained in our thinking processes. What would it be like to drop all of that judging as good and bad? What would it be like to simply experience something, without judgment?
Try it now: sit here in this moment, and don’t think about whether it is good or bad … just observe the sensations of the moment. These sensations are just phenomena in the world, happening without any good or bad intention, just happening. Letting Go of Judging People. By Leo Babauta One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.
Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people — I think it’s either a built-in method all humans have, or something we develop because of built-in methods.