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Sustainable Love - Tara Parker-Pope on Happy Marriages. But for many couples, it’s just not enough to stay together. They want a relationship that is meaningful and satisfying. In short, they want a sustainable marriage. “The things that make a marriage last have more to do with communication skills, , social support, stress — those are the things that allow it to last or not,” says Arthur Aron, a professor who directs the Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. “But those things don’t necessarily make it meaningful or enjoyable or sustaining to the individual.” The notion that the best marriages are those that bring satisfaction to the individual may seem counterintuitive.

After all, isn’t marriage supposed to be about putting the relationship first? Not anymore. Dr. To measure this, Dr. While the notion of self-expansion may sound inherently self-serving, it can lead to stronger, more sustainable relationships, Dr. Over time, the personal gains from lasting relationships are often subtle. 36 Ways To Be Irresistibly Attractive. Love Fitness: Are You in Shape for Your Next Relationship? by Joy Nordenstrom, CMM, MBA | The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com. As you jump into your workout, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, you are definitely on the right track—you are taking care of yourself, your body. This is an excellent step in becoming ready for love. As a certified matchmaker and love coach, I constantly hear the laundry list of what people want in a partner. More often than not, the list includes someone who takes care of himself or herself inside and out, is attractive, emotionally secure, thoughtful and interesting.

After hearing their list, I ask “What have you done or are doing to be the best lover and partner you can be?” If you are lucky enough to find your most perfect partner, will you be prepared to be their most perfect partner in return? The following are three vital secrets I begin with as I work with my clients to help them find and maintain a juicy, thriving relationship. Fill up your inner joy. Think of yourself as a rechargeable battery. What makes you feel fabulous, stunning, creative, delicious?

The Neuroscience of Romanticized Love – Part 1: Emotion Taboos | Neuroscience and Relationships. True love is an act of will that often transcends ephemeral feelings of love…it is correct to say, ‘Love is as love does.’” ~ SCOTT PECK Romanticized ideals for love, and romantic love that leads to long term healthy companionship love with all the trimmings, produce two dramatically different outcomes. Many of the futile attempts of partners to get the love they want in their couple relationships today have to do with “romanticized love” ideals, infused into Western society during the Middle Ages.

These ideals, in effect, impose unfair expectations on men and women alike, with regard to what it means to be a “successful” man or woman. A few decades ago the idea of love as an addiction seemed absurd and controversial. What was once theory, however, is now proven science. Addictive relating stems from healthy inborn strivings to love and be loved, find value and meaning in life – and key relationships. Authentic love nourishes, however. “Love is not a feeling. Beliefs are powerful. Sexual chemistry: How brain chemicals that divide us into four personality groups are the key to finding perfect love...

By Louise Atkinson Updated: 08:20 GMT, 22 February 2011 Who knows why Brad Pitt chose Angelina Jolie over Jennifer Aniston or why Helena Bonham-Carter prefers to live in a separate house to her long-term partner Tim Burton? The course of true love is a complex combination of personality, circumstance, upbringing and timing, but an eminent U.S. anthropologist claims to have uncovered a key secret to why some relationships work and others prove to be a little more tricky. After 30 years of studying the science of romantic love, Dr Helen Fisher is convinced that attraction is closely linked to the chemistry of your personality type and how it matches — or clashes — with that of your chosen partner. Love solution: Finding your perfect match is easy if you know their personality type, according to scientists If dopamine tends to dominate your personality, she believes you will have a tendency to seek novelty.

People in this group are termed explorers. Find your personality type... How to Read Someone’s Mind | Reading someone's mind Reading someone’s mind through telepathy has a long and legendary history. But if you want to have this ability too, you may have to rethink what mind reading is. If you envision closing your eyes and having someone from across a stage project their thoughts into yours, so that you can “hear what they’re thinking,” you are out of luck. People claim to be able to do this but they don’t teach their methods to anyone. However, mind reading is still open to you, and everyone, really, through a technique called Cold Reading. Cold Reading is actually a set of techniques developed to give the appearance of reading someone’s mind. Sounds pretty cool, huh? The next step is to profile your subject. You may know next to nothing about the person in front of you, and you don’t need to—they will give you the secrets about themselves without realizing they are, if you ask questions about them in such a way that they appear to be statements.

Telepathy. THE FACE READER. Body Language and Flirting - Blifaloo. Interesting Info -> Body Language -> Flirting Body Language (part 1) Quick Jump: General Signs of Flirting | Male Flirting | Female Flirting Also See: Body Language Resources | Decoding Male Body Language Updated March 21st - 2012. New resources, information, books and links added. Only 7% of communication is verbal communication. (see note) 38% of it depends on our intonation, or the sound of our voice.

For instance: A shaky, uneven voice may suggest that a person is shy, intimidated, or dishonest. The largest chunk of communication is body language, which takes up the remaining 55%. The impression we make on others starts not when we first open our mouth, but with our posture, breathing, appearance, and movement. Art and Science of Flirting and Body Language The art of flirting is expressed with gestures and subtle actions - also known as body language. This artful dance makes it possible for strangers to become comfortable with each other, even at their first exchange of words. Bored? The Brain Science of Desire | BrainDesire. A list of scientific publications is included at the bottom of this page, and scientists are invited to skip directly thereto. The following paragraphs provide a simplified introduction.

Brain research shows that brain regions involving desire are activated in the blink of an eye – less than a fifth of a second. Even before you realize that some detail about a person has attracted your attention, your brain knows if that person will arouse your reward system, and your brain begins to anticipate the reward. This could mean that you just met Mr Right or Ms Right.

Why BrainDesire works Science recently showed that desire and love are more scientific than most people think. How BrainDesire works During a short task-solving visual game BrainDesire measures how fast you react after a brief exposure to the name of a person. Subject in high passionate state Subject in low passionate state How BrainDesire was validated Scanner: event-related fMRI study Scientific publications. Top 10 Best Qualities That Men Look for in Women - StumbleUpon. 50 Dating Rules for Smart Girls Who Don't Need Dating Rules | Stylish Thought. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. 1. - Boost Your Sex Appeal in 30 Days. 38 Ways To Win An Argument—Arthur Schopenhauer - The India Uncut Blog - India Uncut. For all of you who have ever been involved in an online debate in any way, Arthur Schopenhauer’s “38 Ways To Win An Argument” is indispensable.

Most of these techniques will seem familiar to you, right from questioning the motive of a person making the argument instead of the argument itself (No. 35), exaggerating the propositions stated by the other person (No. 1) , misrepresenting the other person’s words (No. 2) and attacking a straw man instead (No. 3). It’s a full handbook of intellectual dishonesty there. Indeed, I generally avoid online debates because they inevitably degenerate to No. 38. The full text is below the fold. Many thanks to my friend Nitin Pai for reintroducing me to it. 38 Ways To Win An Argumentby Arthur Schopenhauer 1 Carry your opponent’s proposition beyond its natural limits; exaggerate it.

Phew. 10 Brilliant Social Psychology Studies | PsyBlog. Ten of the most influential social psychology experiments explain why we sometimes do dumb or irrational things. “I have been primarily interested in how and why ordinary people do unusual things, things that seem alien to their natures.Why do good people sometimes act evil? Why do smart people sometimes do dumb or irrational things?” –Philip Zimbardo Like famous social psychologist Professor Philip Zimbardo (author of The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil), I’m also obsessed with why we do dumb or irrational things.

The answer quite often is because of other people — something social psychologists have comprehensively shown. Each of the 10 brilliant social psychology experiments below tells a unique, insightful story relevant to all our lives, every day. Click the link in each social psychology experiment to get the full description and explanation of each phenomenon. 1. The halo effect is a finding from a famous social psychology experiment. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Introduction to Social Influence, Persuasion, Compliance & Propaganda. This portion of the Working Psychology website offers a brief introduction to a big topic: social influence, the modern, scientific study of persuasion, compliance, propaganda, "brainwashing," and the ethics that surround these issues. Although these topics aren't always simple (it is, after all, science), I've done my best to make this introduction interesting.

Since Aristotle recorded his principles of persuasion in Rhetoric, humans have attempted to define and refine the principles of successful influence. Persuasion has been studied as an art for most of human history. The comparatively young science of social influence, however, can trace its roots to the second world war, when a social psychologist named Carl Hovland was contracted by the U.S. Armed Forces to bolster the morale of soldiers. President Roosevelt was concerned that Americans would lose the will to fight after winning victory in Europe. Social scientists attempt to support any assertion with facts. 12 Tips for “Psychological Selling” Bypassing_the_Will_2005.pdf (application/pdf Object) 100 Places to Meet Nerdy, Smart and Artistic People | Soul Mating.

Meeting people you enjoy and can have a good time with isn’t always as easy as it seems it should be. Many find it gets even harder after they complete college and are in the working world without such a readily available dating pool. However, there are a few ways you can make it easier on yourself. Both the Internet and places around your town or city can provide many opportunities for you to meet men and women who share your interests, are smart, and are looking to connect. Check out these tips and resources to help you meet the nerdy, smart or artistic person of your dreams. General Tips Use these tips to reel in a smart and interesting single.

Have a conversation starter. Places to Meet and Mingle The internet isn’t the only place you can meet intellectuals and artists. Art galleries: If you’ve got a love of art or artists what better place to hang out than a gallery? Smart Singles Find someone to discuss everything from particle physics to politics with on these IQ focused sites. How Not To Suck At Socializing – Do’s & Don’ts - Stepcase Lifehack.

Being socialable is a very easy thing to do, and it shouldn’t be something you’re either good at or not. You can learn to become a more social person – if you want to. Generally extroverts will have less trouble getting out and talking to new people, but that’s to be expected. Don’t think, however, that outgoing people don’t make mistakes either. There are ways to make life easier while you’re out and about. To Do: Initiate conversation – A lot of people, while out, wait for other people to talk to them. It can be somewhat daunting at first because of fear of rejection or being shut down.

Smile - If you look like you’re unhappy you’ll be less approachable. If you’re enjoying yourself, people will notice and want in on the action. Acknowledge randoms – This can be as simple as a smile and a nod. One of my favorite things to do while out is make friends with random people. If you just came from work, for instance, loosen up. Then again, individuality goes a long way. The Don’ts: 1. The Fail-Proof Way to Meet a New Guy - The 10 Best Dating Tips from Bartenders. How To Flirt - Best Ways To Flirt. Love. Who's Wearing the Pants? By Sylvia Martinez | 10/26/2011 Women are taking over the world, quite literally.

From the corridors of colleges, universities and law schools to the arenas of construction and mining, the number of women has increased exponentially and organically. Girls also typically outperform boys in school and research shows their brains may be better equipped to succeed academically.One in three businesses in California is owned by a woman, and you can bet many of them are Latinas. And in more good news, men are pitching in around the house more and are happier about it. The one area where there’s still need for improvement, is the wage gap, which has decreased, but persists. Individually, many of these statistics compiled by Educational Leadership.com are not surprising, but collectively, they paint a portrait of female power and suggest a bright future for women in the U.S. and across the globe. Women are not only wearing the pants, women rule! Created by: Educational Leadership. Four Rules to Understand What Makes People Tick - Stepcase Lifehack.

Breaking down human behavior into rules might seem like a gross simplification. But even with the complexities, it is easy to fall into the same mistakes. I’d argue that many heated fights, lost sales and broken hearts are caused by a few critical errors. If you make the wrong assumptions, you’ve lost before you begin. By keeping in mind these rules, you can avoid repeating the same mistakes. Rule One: People Mostly Care About Themselves People aren’t thinking about you. I’ve used this example before but I believe it deserves repeating. Only a tiny sliver is devoted to empathy. This means that you occupy only a tiny percentage of a persons thoughts. Rule Two: People are Motivated by Selfish Altruism To say all behavior is strictly selfish would be misleading. By studying primates, researchers noticed four main categories of selfish altruism.

Dominance - Some primates will give help as a way of asserting dominance in the group. Rule Three: People Don’t Think Much Applying the Four Rules. How to Get a Guy to Like You And Ask You Out. Email Share 1025 1025 Email Share General Misconception How to get a guy to like you Only very attractive girls get asked out on dates. It is true that guys want to be attracted to who they ask out; however, according to the study girls that were not the most attractive still got asked out and sometimes even more than girls who were more attractve because they knew how to give the right signs to the guys.

These tips can really hope you out if, you want a guy to ask you out. Learn how to get a guy to like you. Chances are you are tired of most guys being to scared to ask you out on a date. Tip #1 How To Get A Guy To Like You You have heard this tip before but it is important and worth repeating. Tip #2 Almost as good as tip #1 You should not tell him flat out that you like him, if you have not gone on a date; however, you can let your roommates/friends know that you like him and they can drop hints. Tip #3 How To Get A Guy To Ask You Out Show interest in him and what he likes. Tip #4 Tip #6.