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Dealing with Unfair Criticism - Communications Skills Training from MindTools. Responding Calmly and Rationally to Unwarranted Criticism © iStockphoto/lisafx You're presenting the draft marketing plan for a new product at your team meeting. As you talk, you notice the encouraging gestures of your colleagues and supervisor. But one colleague withholds approval, listening with a steely stare. After you finish, he proceeds to deliver a withering critique of your ideas and approach – each point of which, you feel, is patently wrong.

As he talks, you feel the blood rise to your face and your heart pound. Or another scenario: For a year, you work hard toward meeting your professional goals. What we've seen here are two cases of unfair criticism – one from a colleague, and one from a boss. So now what? Dealing With Your Initial Response Your immediate response is the most important one – it has the greatest scope for making things worse or better. Step 1: Remain Calm The first thing to do is remain calm, whether the rhetorical slap comes from a colleague or a boss. Tip: The Stop - Keep Doing - Start Process - Communication Skills Training From MindTools. Simple Questions for Improving Performance MBTI® is a trademark of the MBTI Trust Inc. (see www.myersbriggs.org). We have no association or connection with this organization.

"Stop – Keep Doing – Start" provides action focused feedback. © iStockphoto/pagadesign Feedback is essential for our professional growth: It helps us identify and build the skills we need for success. But asking for feedback can be daunting, particularly when we fear that it might not be wholly positive. In this article, we'll look at "Stop – Keep Doing – Start", a tool that helps us ask for focused, action-based feedback. Overview The SKS (Stop – Keep Doing – Start) Process is the formal name for a short set of questions that you can use when you ask for feedback. What should I stop doing? Phil Daniels, a psychology professor at Brigham Young University, is credited with devising the process. Tip 1: Stop – Keep Doing – Start was initially devised as a way of requesting help and feedback. Tip 2: How to Use the Process Tip: The alternative MR MEN that you need to watch out for! I’ve recently been on an ACAS training day where I had absolute pleasure in listening to Mr Martin Smith of ITC Consultancy (www.taking-control.co.uk).

Martin has had a varied background that ranges from working as a Police Officer to being a practising psychotherapist. Using his knowledge that he graciously shared with us, I have put together an alternative MR MEN Matrix for you to consider when dealing with difficult and challenging behaviours that maybe demonstrated by your own health and social care colleagues. Let’s face it being leaders and managers within the sector can be a lonely place, even more so when faced with someone who is demonstrating extremely difficult behaviour. So the aim of this alternative MR MEN Matrix is to give you some insights, based on Martin’s work that you can easily remember and that will equip you at a moment’s notice to ‘dissociate’ yourself and give you some breathing space. A cautionary note: These traits are just that, traits.

Emotional Intelligence - Develop your emotional intelligence with MindTools.com. Developing Strong "People Skills" Develop your emotional intelligence, with James Manktelow and Amy Carlson. We probably all know people, either at work or in our personal lives, who are really good listeners. No matter what kind of situation we're in, they always seem to know just what to say – and how to say it – so that we're not offended or upset.

They're caring and considerate, and even if we don't find a solution to our problem, we usually leave feeling more hopeful and optimistic. We probably also know people who are masters at managing their emotions. People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence, or EI. Would you like to be more like this? As more and more people accept that emotional intelligence is just as important to professional success as technical ability, organizations are increasingly using EI when they hire and promote. So, what exactly is emotional intelligence, and what can you do to improve yours? What is Emotional Intelligence? Key Points. 15 Simple Ways to Overcome Anger - Global One TV: A Blog for Mystics. Courtesy of ThinkSimpleNow.com Can you recall the last time you were really angry at someone?

So much so that you were physically shaken just at the thought of them? Rarely does this feeling of anger help us in getting what we want. Often, it will work against us, resulting in more pain, unnecessarily. Even the most gentle of personalities can temporarily turn into a vindictive rascal, if pushed far enough. A friend of mine is going through a divorce with a spouse who is unreasonably prolonging the process. Through helping him come to a place of understanding and forgiveness of his ex-spouse with love, compassion and humility (we had to dig deep), I realized that the same tools can be used in dealing with other negative emotions. For sake of simplicity, we will use anger as the target emotion to overcome. Why Do We Feel Like Crap? Anger doesn’t feel very good. The answer is: Very easily. Emotion is our body’s response to a thought, which could be triggered by an external situation. 1. 2. Two Lists You Should Look at Every Morning - Peter Bregman.

By Peter Bregman | 11:00 AM May 27, 2009 I was late for my meeting with the CEO of a technology company and I was emailing him from my iPhone as I walked onto the elevator in his company’s office building. I stayed focused on the screen as I rode to the sixth floor. I was still typing with my thumbs when the elevator doors opened and I walked out without looking up. Then I heard a voice behind me, “Wrong floor.” I looked back at the man who was holding the door open for me to get back in; it was the CEO, a big smile on his face.

He had been in the elevator with me the whole time. “Busted,” he said. The world is moving fast and it’s only getting faster. So we try to speed up to match the pace of the action around us. But that’s a mistake. Never before has it been so important to say “No.” It’s hard to do because maybe, just maybe, that next piece of information will be the key to our success. Now is a good time to pause, prioritize, and focus. Some people already have the first list. Stop Worrying about Your Weaknesses - Peter Bregman. 174,203 Things You Can Do Instead of Watching TV. How to Run Away from All Your Problems. Do you want to run away from all your problems? I certainly have problems that I’d like to avoid. Problems are hurtful, distracting and agitating.

Why wouldn’t I want to get as far away from them as possible? That feeling you get when a big crisis pops up is sickening. It can feel like you went bungee jumping without a rope. That’s why I recently set out to find the most used strategies for running away from problems. From my research, I found there are literally millions of people already using these techniques. 5 Ways to Run Away from All Your Problems If you want to ditch all your problems, then it does appear that you have a lot of company. Here are five common strategies I found to run away from our problems: 1. Probably one of the most common and promising strategies used to avoid problems is just to ignore them. Of course, as with all strategies, this one does have a potential gotcha.

It seems that those that utilize this approach later experience a day of reckoning. 2. 3. 4. 5. 7 Ideas For Expanding Your Creativity and Comfort Zone. Do you think outside the box? What does “thinking outside the box” even mean and why is it important? I believe the following definition I found on Answers.com explains it very well. Breaking away from traditional or conventional thought to develop a unique, superior solution to a difficult problem.~ Dictionary of Business Terms Wouldn’t you agree that we need people in this country to think outside the box to solve the issues we are facing?

But who are we going to find to do it? I have an idea! You are just as smart as the next person, but you’ve likely become stuck thinking just like everyone else. I’ve gathered up several great ideas that will help you expand your creativity and comfort zone so you can begin dreaming up superior solutions to our difficult problems! Time is wasting, so let’s get to it! 1. In Three Easy Ways to Expand Your Creativity, we are encouraged to push ourselves to expand our comfort zone by switching modalities. 2. 3. Many people get trapped in the herd mentality. Ten Principles To Live By In Fiercely Complex Times.

If you're like most people I work with in companies, the demands come at you from every angle, all day long, and you have to make difficult decisions without much time to think about them. What enduring principles can you rely on to make choices that reflect openness, integrity and authenticity? Here are ten that work for me: 1. Always challenge certainty, especially your own. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Reprinted from Harvard Business Review Tony Schwartz is President and CEO of The Energy Project, a company that helps individuals and organizations fuel energy, engagement, focus, and productivity by harnessing the science of high performance.

Why Self-Compassion Trumps Self-Esteem. In this incredibly competitive society of ours, how many of us truly feel good about ourselves? I remember once, as a freshman in college, after spending hours getting ready for a big party, I complained to my boyfriend that my hair, makeup, and outfit were woefully inadequate.

He tried to reassure me by saying, “Don’t worry, you look fine.” Juan Estey “Fine? Oh great, I always wanted to look fine . . .” The desire to feel special is understandable. Not very well. How can we grow if we can’t acknowledge our own weaknesses? Continually feeding our need for positive self-evaluation is a bit like stuffing ourselves with candy. The result is often devastating. And of course, the goalposts for what counts as “good enough” seem always to remain out of reach. Another way So what’s the answer? When I first came across the idea of “self-compassion,” it changed my life almost immediately. After getting my Ph.D., I did two years of postdoctoral training with a leading self-esteem researcher. 7 Ways to Enhance Focus, Creativity, Productivity and Performance. Back in my corporate lawyer days, there was one guy who everyone hated. Not because he was mean or underhanded or cut-throat.

He was actually quite nice and always willing to help. People hated him because he was good. Superstar good. While everyone else fretted and froze under the dizzying pace and pressure of the job, he seemed to always keep it together, to thrive and even come alive as the fire got hotter. He wasn’t an adrenaline junkie or cowboy. I used to wonder what he was doing differently.

Because if it wasn’t genetic, if it was something that could be learned, I wanted to know. I never figured it out before I left the law. Turns out, there are a handful of things most super-performers do different that underlie or, at least substantially accelerate their success. Time for Mindset Domination Strategy #2. Now, it’s time to add to our arsenal with strategy #2 - – Attentional Training I wonder when the last time you felt any of these was? How powerful is this practice? Nine Things Successful People Do Differently - Heidi Grant Halvorson. Learn more about the science of success with Heidi Grant Halvorson’s HBR Single, based on this blog post. Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals, but not others? If you aren’t sure, you are far from alone in your confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or fail. The intuitive answer — that you are born predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the puzzle.

In fact, decades of research on achievement suggests that successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do. 1. To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take, in advance. 3. Fortunately, decades of research suggest that the belief in fixed ability is completely wrong — abilities of all kinds are profoundly malleable. 7. 8. 9. Book - 9 insights on life. 25 Beautifully Illustrated Thought-Provoking Questions.

405 Flares Facebook 137 Twitter 5 Google+ 194 StumbleUpon 1 Pin It Share 68 68 405 Flares × A question that makes you think is worth asking… At the cusp of a new day, week, month, or year, most of us take a little time to reflect on our lives by looking back over the past and ahead into the future. We ponder the successes, failures and standout events that are slowly scripting our life’s story. This process of self reflection helps us maintain a conscious awareness of where we’ve been and where we intend to go. It is pertinent to the organization and preservation of our dreams, goals and desires. Remember, these questions have no right or wrong answers. Because asking the right questions is the answer. Here’s a sample of 25 recent thought questions posted on the site: Few extra questions Thank you for visiting, we hope you find our site, enjoyable, informative and educational.

75 Reminders for Tough Times. 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. 7 Lessons From 7 Great Minds. Have you ever wished you could go back in time and have a conversation with one of the greatest minds in history? Well, you can’t sorry, they’re dead. Unless of course you’re clairaudient, be my guest. But for the rest of us, we can still refer to the words they left behind. Even though these great teachers have passed on, their words still live, and in them their wisdom. I’ve made a list of seven what I believe are some of the greatest teachings by the world’s greatest minds. 1.

Realizing Your Dreams “If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.” - Lawrence J. In order for us to achieve our dreams, we must have a vision of our goals. Action: Visualize a life of your wildest dreams. 2. “It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson The best way to learn something is to dive right in to it.

Action: You must define your fears in order to conquer them. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. eCVconsultancy - Blog.