Why Vulnerability Makes You More Attractive to Women. A while back I wrote a post on connecting with people.
There, I touched on why vulnerability works to connect people from a psychological standpoint and laid the foundation for why it works on women. But I wanted to expand on why exactly vulnerability makes you more attractive to women. You see, vulnerability must be used correctly. It isn’t a prescription or excuse to start spilling your guts. So today I’m going to talk about how to use vulnerability effectively and what frames you must maintain in order to maximize your attractiveness to the fairer sex. You can be the sexiest man in the world; you can have the best fashion, the strongest muscles, and the sleekest haircut; but if you can’t connect with a girl, you’ll never be able to keep her around. Sure, she may sleep with you once, but she probably won’t return if she doesn’t feel like you get her on some emotional level.
So how do we connect with women and actually keep them around – even if on a casual basis? Being a Man of Mystery. The art — and science — of sharing a secret. You keep secrets from each other; you keep secrets from yourselves.
Secrets bond you; secrets drive you apart. Keeping a secret can be a burden, or it can delight you. Sharing secrets can be a relief, whether it’s with your old friend or new therapist. For children, learning to keep secrets is a vital developmental milestone. In one study, researchers asked kids who were three, four, and five to play hide-and-seek and to keep a secret about a surprise. For adults, this is expected behavior. Yet across ages and cultures, multiple studies show the personal health benefits of sharing your private hopes and fears with trusted confidantes — and the corresponding detriment of keeping some secrets entirely to yourself. Which secrets should you not be entirely alone with? If no trusted confidante comes to mind, then it may be appropriate to share that “shameful” secret with someone new.
Sharing secrets with strangers doesn’t put your ego at risk, like sharing with intimates does. Vulnerable Vs. Needy - The Fine Line. We’re taught that it’s good to be vulnerable (file under Brené Brown,) but bad to be needy (file under “People – especially men – run screaming in the other direction.”)
But it seems to me that it’s a fine edge I’m exploring in some of my relationships. So humor me while I try to figure this out. The Vulnerability of Need Over the past couple of years, I’ve been renegotiating sacred contracts with the people closest to me, and one of my requests in my relationships is that those I love share with me what they want and need so I don’t have to read their minds. I’ve spent too many years feeling like I’ve disappointed the people I love, but often, it’s because I didn’t even know what they wanted, so I failed to meet their desires. I set out to change all that. Then I realized what I noticed in how many of my loved ones responded.
Why The Silence? Finally I realized I was asking something very vulnerable of the people I loved. The Discomfort Of Honesty Gulp. Fear Of Rejection. The Power of Vulnerability: 5 ways to come alive to your authentic self. "What makes you vulernable makes you beautiful.
" - Brené Brown One of my favorite TED talks is by Brené Brown on the Power of Vulnerability. The premise is that connection is why we’re here, and in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen. She encourages us to take off our masks, to have the courage to be imperfect, the strength to love ourselves first, and the guts to let go of who we think we should be to become who we really are. Inspired by her incredible talk, here are five ways to experience the power of vulnerability so you come alive to your most authentic self: 1. Earlier this year I spoke in front of about 100 advertising agency executives. "Be me?! " Nervousness and excitement bubbled in my body. With all of these thoughts and feelings swirling, I took a deep breath and walked to the front of the room. After the talk, people complimented me for being so open and honest. 2.
The Vulnerability Primer. I’ve talked a lot about the benefits of vulnerability and how we can implement it in our lives to make deeper connections and ultimately have more satisfying relationships.
Interestingly, I get a lot of questions surrounding the same issues about vulnerability, so I figured I’d try to clarify myself here, once and for all. As a quick refresher, vulnerability is consciously choosing to NOT hide your emotions or desires from others. This can be as simple as complimenting someone on how good they look, approaching an attractive stranger you don’t know, establishing clear and strong boundaries, or expressing your undying love to someone.
Vulnerability is the cornerstone concept of my book Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. The benefits to vulnerability are massive, although not always pleasantly achieved. And no, you don’t have to be unbelievably good-looking, or rich, or whatever. People don’t realize this, but honesty is sexy. The logic is simple: The Two Mistakes.