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Leeroy Jenkins: Reimagined as a Short Film. Parallel Parking. The Best Of Sheldon Cooper (20 Pics) Funny Quotes and One-Liners. As powerful as inspirational quotes can be, sometimes we just need a bit of humor to lighten up our day.

Funny Quotes and One-Liners

For those occasions, funny quotes and one-liners are quite effective, especially when they poke fun at our everyday annoyances, whether it be politics, work, aging or marriage. Not content with finding these humorous quotes on only bumper stickers, we set out to put together a list of them. After browsing through quotation websites like Quotery, Wikiquote, and BQ for a couple hours, we were able to find quite a few gems. Below, you’ll find the Top 100: Funny Quotes and One-Liners that are sure to put a smile on your face. 1. ”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

2. 3. 4. ”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong” - Unknown 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. ”If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.” - Sam Levenson 17. 18. 19. 20. Like what you read? Lots of Jokes - Anger Management. When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it...

Lots of Jokes - Anger Management

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.' I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?' Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!' I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, And put it in my desk drawer. It always cheered me up. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.