No Sex Tonight | FMBV
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said “WHAT??!! So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man”. Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it”. Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?”. I then said “honey! Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.
Funny Quotes and One-Liners
As powerful as inspirational quotes can be, sometimes we just need a bit of humor to lighten up our day. For those occasions, funny quotes and one-liners are quite effective, especially when they poke fun at our everyday annoyances, whether it be politics, work, aging or marriage. Not content with finding these humorous quotes on only bumper stickers, we set out to put together a list of them. 1. ”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? 2. 3. 4. ”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong” - Unknown 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. ”If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.” - Sam Levenson 17. 18. 19. 20. Like what you read?
Examples of Parenting Done Right
12 Examples of Parenting Done Right, These are awesome examples of parenting. Creative and fun for the kids. If you are one of these parent’s ….my biggest respect to you! You like this ? Then you are going to love this one. Parents and children recreating their childhood pictures ! MUST WATCH: Hilarious Receipts
LOTS OF PUNS
...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything." ...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... ...This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face... ...These two strings walk upto a bar... ...This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! ...This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says,"What'll ya have..." ...A neutron walks into a bar. Back
Everyone Has Been Hacked. Now What?
Oak Ridge National Laboratory was hit by a targeted hacker attack in 2011 that forced the lab to take all its computers offline. Photo: Oak Ridge National Laboratory The attackers chose their moment well. On Apr. 7, 2011, five days before Microsoft patched a critical zero-day vulnerability in Internet Explorer that had been publicly disclosed three months earlier on a security mailing list, unknown attackers launched a spear-phishing attack against workers at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee. The lab, which is funded by the U.S. The e-mail, purporting to come from the lab’s human resources department, went to about 530 workers, or 11 percent of the lab’s workforce. The cleverly crafted missive included a link to a malicious webpage, where workers could get information about employee benefits. Although the lab detected the spear-phishing attack soon after it began, administrators weren’t quick enough to stop 57 workers from clicking on the malicious link.
Family Recreates Movie Scenes with Boxes - the Cardboard Box Office
DECEMBER 24, 2013 — By Sara Heddleston Sara Heddleston Sara has been working and writing online for so many years, she's unsure if she is still in corporeal form. She considers herself a jack of all trades, but would prefer it if you would stop calling her "Jack." Lilly, Leon and baby Orson aren't your normal family. In fact, they may be better than the average family. You re-create movie scenes with your young family, like this one from Jaws. And Alien. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Star Wars Castaway Apollo 13 Die Hard The Good, The Bad and the Ugly The Dark Knight Home Alone Jurassic Park Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Terminator 2: Judgment Day Taking the photos is sometimes tricky, if all three need to be in the shot.
Oh, So That's What That Really Means (13 Pics)
November 7, 2011 | 44 Comments » | Topics: LOL, Pics (via) Hot Stories From Around The Web Other Awesome Stories
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