The Seven Characteristics of Emotionally Strong People. Get D.U.M.B.! The Value of Unattainable Goals. With the year winding down, many people are turning their eyes towards the future.
January 1st looms, and the new year always holds the promise of a fresh start, another go-round and another try at the golden ring. It’s a time for taking stock, filing away the lessons of our successes and failures over the last 12 months and pinning down our hopes and dreams for the 12 months to come. Some people make resolutions, feeling in the renewal of the yearly cycle the power to remake themselves to a better plan: thinner, healthier, more focused, wealthier, smarter… happier. Others set goals. “By this time next year, I will have done x.”
There’s a lot to be said for that approach, of course. There’s nothing wrong and almost everything right with S.M.A.R.T. goals. But… I think there’s a place in our life for D.U.M.B. goals, too. I’m not talking about make-believe goals, here – goals we have no intention of pursuing. But I wonder. Here’s the thing: failing is good for you. Why We’re Attracted To People Who Are Wrong For Us. I’m asked this question all the time: “Why am I attracted to people who are wrong for me?”
And the answer is quite simple, actually: Because your wounded self is doing the attracting. Now, I know the term “wounded self” can sound a little intense, so let me explain. We all have two selves: the “little self” (or the wounded self, the ego) and the “Spiritual Self” (the higher self, adult self, or soul). The wounded self is the part of you that feels incomplete. On the other hand, we also have a Spiritual Self. At any given time, we are operating from one of these two selves. The ego looks for things on the outside to find validation and completion.
But … it’s never happy. The ego gets highly activated when it comes to romantic relationships, because relationships are where we hold the most wounding. We’ve all felt disappointed or hurt by a relationship in the past; we carry the memory of this wound into adulthood (sometimes unconsciously). This is a frustrating part of the growth process! What I do for a living to afford a Lamborghini.
How a 21-year-old affords a Lamborghini. How to Make More Money (Meaningfully) Hints to The Purpose of Life. How NOT to Set Goals (Why S.M.A.R.T. goals are lame) How to Deal With Frustrating People. 29 Questions to Deepen Your Connection. After months or years together, you may think you know everything there is to know about your partner or spouse.
You know that he hates olives and is finally becoming friends with his dad. Or that she loves classic movies and was a soccer star in high school. But there’s still a lot you probably don’t know. I’m not referring to skeletons in their closet or deep, dark secrets. I’m referring to the kinds of things that made your partner who they are—life-changing events or amusing anecdotes that shaped their beliefs and personality. Asking great questions is the key to unlocking the ongoing mystery behind what makes your partner tick. Reflect on your most recent dinner dates. Not only do such novel conversations help you understand your partner better. Novel conversations often happen by chance, but they don’t have to. Photographee.eu/Shutterstock Which teacher had the biggest influence on your life?