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http://walkingdead.net/perl/euphemism

The Always Amusing Euphemism Generator

The Euphemism Generator can create up to 513,740,850 unique phrases!

Internet Humor Archive - Simpsonisms

"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs." "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." http://www.villines.com/Internet/simpsonisms.htm
http://rinkworks.com/said/ Ordinary people can be drop dead funny. Latest additions: 1/21/11

Things People Said

Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?" http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 -- from Joe Burton

http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/eaad2ca672/actual-australian-court-docket-12659
http://www.proft.org/tips/evil.html

How To Be A Successful Evil Overlord

How to be a Successful Evil Overlord by Peter Anspach
http://www.goodquotes.com/answeringmachine.htm Answering Machine Funny Answering Machine Messages ...

Funny and Inspirational Quotes