Effective communication with mindfulness. Photo by Lauren By Nadia Ballas-Ruta Have you ever had the experience while talking to someone where the person is really not listening to you? They act like they are but it is obvious that they aren’t. The ironic part is that they probably think they are communicating with you but on some level you just feel that you weren’t heard at all. Communication is something we all engage in on a daily basis but due to the pace of our lives, conversations become just formalities.
It is like when you go to the store and the cashier asks you: “ how are you? Living mindfully isn’t limited to meditation, but can also be applied to effective communication in our daily interactions with other people. In my work as an attorney, eighty percent of cases I have seen in my career are a result of some form of misunderstanding and lack of effective communication. Communication Truth: We Hear What We Want to Hear Let’s say someone tells you that they will talk to you later. The whole interaction fascinated me. Let go of control. “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.”
~Proverb I’ve noticed that things go much more smoothly when I give up control—when I allow them to happen instead of making them happen. Unfortunately, I’m terrible at this. Although I’m much better than I used to be, I’m a bit of a control freak. For example, I wonder if my baby is going to get a proper nap when we travel and, if not, just how crabby she might be. I also think about the weather a lot when out-of-town guests are visiting. Like most humans I know, I spend a lot of time in business that’s not mine. As a recovering control freak, there are three things I know for sure about trying to control things: 1. In other words, control is rooted in fear. 2. When we trust that we’re okay no matter what circumstances come our way, we don’t need to micro-manage the universe. 3. In surrender mode, I’m calm, peaceful. So the great irony is that attempting to control things actually feels less in control. 1.
Having what you want without guilt. “You only lose what you cling to.” ~Buddha I used to cling to my identity as a person who didn’t eat donuts. To me, donuts represent all that is tempting and yet forbidden. Any self-respecting natural health doctor is not supposed to like donuts, right? This image I held of myself almost cost me one of the important realizations of my life. Twenty years ago I was in the midst of my training to become an Ayurvedic health practitioner.
This ancient medical system of India dictated that since I was out of balance with too much phlegm, I was to avoid all wheat, dairy, fried foods and sugar. On my path to learn Ayurveda, I also began studying the Sanskrit language in which the original medical books were written. What I promptly came face to face with was a 65-year old Indian saint in neon orange robes and dark, wrap-around glasses asking me “Who are you?”
Looking back, I can’t even believe I did that. I felt so sure of myself. “But my diet!” “Eat the donuts!” Inside I was thinking, “Mmmmm. 1. 9 mind-bending epiphanies. Over the years I’ve learned dozens of little tricks and insights for making life more fulfilling. They’ve added up to a significant improvement in the ease and quality of my day-to-day life. But the major breakthroughs have come from a handful of insights that completely rocked my world and redefined reality forever. The world now seems to be a completely different one than the one I lived in about ten years ago, when I started looking into the mechanics of quality of life.
It wasn’t the world (and its people) that changed really, it was how I thought of it. Maybe you’ve had some of the same insights. Or maybe you’re about to. 1. The first time I heard somebody say that — in the opening chapter of The Power of Now — I didn’t like the sound of it one bit. I see quite clearly now that life is nothing but passing experiences, and my thoughts are just one more category of things I experience. If you can observe your thoughts just like you can observe other objects, who’s doing the observing? Nyt - meditation changes brain. Getty Images Over the December holidays, my husband went on a 10-day silent meditation retreat.
Not my idea of fun, but he came back rejuvenated and energetic. He said the experience was so transformational that he has committed to meditating for two hours daily, one hour in the morning and one in the evening, until the end of March. He’s running an experiment to determine whether and how meditation actually improves the quality of his life. I’ll admit I’m a skeptic. But now, scientists say that meditators like my husband may be benefiting from changes in their brains.
M.R.I. brain scans taken before and after the participants’ meditation regimen found increased gray matter in the hippocampus, an area important for learning and memory. But how exactly did these study volunteers, all seeking stress reduction in their lives but new to the practice, meditate? Of course, it’s important to remember that the human brain is complicated.
Ultimately, Dr. Life of zen monk. “We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize.” - Thich Nhat Hanh By Leo Babauta I’m not a Zen monk, nor will I ever become one. However, I find great inspiration in the way they try to live their lives: the simplicity of their lives, the concentration and mindfulness of every activity, the calm and peace they find in their days. You probably don’t want to become a Zen monk either, but you can live your life in a more Zen-like manner by following a few simple rules. Why live more like a Zen monk? Because who among us can’t use a little more concentration, tranquility, and mindfulness in our lives? One of my favorite Zen monks, Thich Nhat Hanh, simplified the rules in just a few words: “Smile, breathe and go slowly.” However, for those who would like a little more detail, I thought I’d share some of the things I’ve discovered to work very well in my experiments with Zen-like living.
Do one thing at a time. “Before enlightenment chop wood and carry water. B and the blues. To most people Buddhism is an ancient Eastern religion, although a very special one. It has no god, it has no central creed or dogma and its primary goal is the expansion of consciousness, or awareness. But to the Dalai Lama, it's a highly refined tradition, perfected over the course of 2,500 years, of analyzing and investigating the inner world of the mind in order to transform mental states and promote happiness . "Whether you are a believer or not in the faith," the Dalai Lama told a conference of Buddhists and scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, you can use its time-honored techniques to voluntarily control your emotional state. Yes, the Dalai Lama is the spiritual leader of over 300 million Buddhists worldwide. Yes, he is the head of the Tibetan government in exile. But in the spirit of Buddhism, the Dalai Lama has an inquiring mind and wishes to expand human knowledge to improve lives.
A comprehensive science of the mind requires a science of consciousness. Buddhism a religion? Posted: August 6, 2010 06:58 AM We often talk about Siddhartha, the young man who became known as the Buddha, as if he were a god. The fact is that he was just a simple Indian guy, a human being like you and me. We think of him as some kind of super-genius for having attained complete spiritual awakening, but in fact his real genius was in showing how any one of us can attain the same awakening as he did. We describe him as a prince and a member of the elite royalty of his time, and we think that must have given him an advantage over us -- but the reality is that most of us today are probably better off, in material terms, than Siddhartha was.
We talk about his kingdom and so forth, but what the prince Siddhartha had was really no more than what you might find in any middle-class American household. The point is, we shouldn't mythologize Siddhartha's life and think that his spiritual awakening was due to his special circumstances. Siddhartha was a truth seeker, nothing more. Abandoning all self views. Steve Goodheart Essay Who am I? What am I? How am I? We’ve all asked these questions. Throughout history, people have asked these questions, and come up with countless answers and religions and philosophies to answer them. Interestingly, the Buddha does not offer a final metaphysical view on self. Look deeply and skillfully into phenomena, the Buddha said, and you’ll find there’s no real self to cling to or be attached to. The Buddha saw that if we pin our quest for happiness on our personal self, a savior self, or a cosmic self, this only leads to suffering.
In any event, the “not-selfness” of all things isn’t a metaphysical idea we adopt. The Buddha had one very practical and down-to-earth goal: the end of suffering. When asked about metaphysical ideas about Self, and God, eternity, and infinity, the Buddha remained silent, refusing to answer because to him, these were the wrong questions! The Buddha makes the freedom from “self views” so clear: Like this: Like Loading... Skillful desires. Thanissaro Bhikkhu on desire, imagination, and the Buddhist path. All phenomena, the Buddha once said, are rooted in desire. Everything we think, say, or do—every experience—comes from desire.
Even we come from desire. We were reborn into this life because of our desire to be. Consciously or not, our desires keep redefining our sense of who we are. The notion of a skillful desire may sound strange, but a mature mind intuitively pursues the desires it sees as skillful and drops those it perceives as not. But despite their common pattern, desires are not monolithic. Unskillful desires can create suffering in a variety of ways. In addition, desires often pull in opposite directions. Even in a mature mind, however, the dialogue often yields compromises that don’t really go to the heart: snatches of sensual pleasure, glimpses of spiritual peace, nothing really satisfying and whole. Both sorts of people share a common assumption that true, unlimited happiness lies beyond reach. Craziness is not an obstacle to your practice. Do my words improve silence. Addiction & zen. A handbook for addicts and those in recovery, and their families.
Foreword I warmly recommend Mary Heath's article on The Benefits of Zen Meditation in Addiction and Recovery. It shows a sensitive awareness and understanding of the difficulties that people face when they decide to come off drugs and gives a range of strategies for helping this process, ranging from traditional Zen work with the breath and mindfulness and walking meditation, to her own discoveries. Taken together these provide a kit from which people in recovery can choose. Its presentation is vivid and straightforward making it an illuminating, practical, compassionate guide to the path of recovery. .......... About Zen Zen practice is about having time for yourself in a special way. One method of training comes down to us from Sakyamuni Buddha, who lived in the sixth century B.C. in Northern India.
As well as the Zen Group's evening at Palmerston Farm, we run meditation evenings and retreats at our centre in Claremont. Happiness. The wise man takes great care to guard his thoughts. They are very subtle, very difficult to perceive and slip out of control at the tinniest opportunity. A well guarded mind brings happiness. The earnest person is like fire. Fire burns away everything big or small. The Greatest man and the smallest are equally consumed by fire. The fire of earnestness demolishes all the vanities, passions and terrors of life. The Wheel of Life in Buddhism Mother Teresa on Life We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The Tao of Happiness Let the wise guard their thoughts, which are difficult to perceive, extremely subtle, and wander at will.
If you keep thinking of all the way in which others cheated you, fought with you, degraded you or angered you, your heart will forever be full of hatred. Negative people. Parenting. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. The invocation of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo was established by Nichiren Daishonin on April 28, 1253. Having studied widely among all the Buddhist sutras, he had concluded that the Lotus Sutra contains the ultimate truth of Buddhism: that everyone without exception has the potential to attain Buddhahood. The title of the Lotus Sutra in its Japanese translation is Myoho-renge-kyo. But to Nichiren, Myoho-renge-kyo was far more than the title of a Buddhist text, it was the expression, in words, of the Law of life which all Buddhist teachings in one way or another seek to clarify. What follows is a brief and unavoidably limited explanation of some of the key concepts expressed by this phrase. Nam The word nam derives from Sanskrit. Myoho Myoho literally means the Mystic Law, and expresses the relationship between the life inherent in the universe and the many different ways this life expresses itself.
Renge Renge means lotus flower. Kyo Kyo literally means sutra, the voice or teaching of a Buddha. Intro to buddhism. This short essay is intended to give a brief introduction to Buddhism. It will discuss the way Buddhists perceive the world, the four main teachings of the Buddha, the Buddhist view of the self, the relationship between this self and the various ways in which it responds to the world, the Buddhist path and the final goal. - Mike Butler The Three Marks of Existence Buddhism has been described as a very pragmatic religion.
It does not indulge in metaphysical speculation about first causes; there is no theology, no worship of a deity or deification of the Buddha. If we look at our life, very simply, in a straightforward way, we see that it is marked with frustration and pain. If we examine the notion of impermanence closely and honestly, we see that it is all-pervading, everything is marked by impermanence. These three things: pain, impermanence and egolessness are known as the three marks of existence. The Four Noble Truths The second noble truth is that suffering has a cause. The Six Realms. Purpose of life. Since the beginning of times, humans have wondered if there's more in life than mere survival, if there is a higher purpose for being alive or if life is just an accident of nature.
Philosophers have answered to this question differently throughout history and eastern traditions were the first to register their version of the human saga in search of enlightenment. According to eastern theories, the ultimate purpose of life is to reach perfection and finally merge with the One (sometimes called God) after a painful pilgrimage in the manifested world Buddhism – the Meaning of Life All living creatures are already perfect, but they do not know that, Buddhist monks would say. At every one of these cycles, the monad acquires a new faculty, such as instincts, sensations, emotion, intellect, etc. At the end of the evolutive journey through many rebirths, one will have become completely conscious of his own perfection and will be ready to merge with the One, or the Unity – pure perfection.
Letting go. Screaming at me. Stopping thought. Compassion for an enemy.