How To Make Difficult Conversations Easy - Barking Up The Wrong Tree. Someone is screaming in your face at the top of their lungs.
Or ranting angrily and you can’t get a word in edgewise. Or maybe they’re sobbing so hard you can barely understand what they’re saying. We’ve all been there. These situations don’t happen a lot (thank god) but we all feel helpless when they do. And because they’re rare we don’t ever seem to get better at handling them. Problem is, these moments are often critical because they’re usually with people we care about. What’s the best way to handle these difficult conversations? I called someone who knows: Dr. Dinosaur Brains: Dealing with All Those Impossible People at Work Am I The Only Sane One Working Here? Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry Here’s what you’ll learn in this post: Okay, time to wage war with the crazy. 1) First, You Need To Keep Calm You already have one person overreacting.
Al calls the emotional side of our mind the “dinosaur brain.” If you stay calm, you can help someone escape its grip. Hot Dogs And Economics: How Great Teachers Guarantee Learning. “When I go to a baseball game, I can eat six, maybe seven hot dogs.
I love hot dogs more than anything on Earth.” This is the opening line from Mr. Hourigan, my high school Economics teacher. We’re learning the law of diminishing returns. He goes on to explain how, though his love for brats runs deeper than human understanding, he starts to get tired of them after a while. Admittedly, a strange comparison. The law of diminishing returns, put simply, describes how you can’t achieve endless efficiency in any system.
Santé. Sport. Méditation. These are the most common life mistakes that young people make. I quit college and used the money to buy a car.
The car was a used Honda Civic. I drove around for a few hours and then I dropped the car back off at the dealership and cancelled the check and went back to college. Two huge mistakes in one day. One was fun and stupid. The other cost me years and money. There’s two types of mistakes: ones that eventually make you a better person. Some mistakes are out of your control. Having them and complaining about them and blaming others and not learning from them is the worst mistake a young person can make. And here are some other mistakes that young people (i.e. me) make: What opinion can you possibly have? War? She/He should treat me better!
A friend of mine works at The New Yorker and no longer speaks to me (so maybe she is not my friend). Oh really? “Manure” 4.5 million tons of manure were being dropped on the streets of Manhattan in 1890, EVERY YEAR, by horses carrying people to work. That was the big environmental problem of the day. Work.
Four Rules I Followed to Stop Being a Pushover and Make Myself More Powerful. Study Hacks - Decoding Patterns of Success - Cal Newport. The Opposite of the Open Office October 19th, 2016 · 12 comments The Bionic Office A couple weeks ago, I wrote about Joel Spolsky’s claim that Facebook’s massive open office is scaring away talent.
The comments on the post added many interesting follow ups; e.g., a pointer to a recent podcast episode where a Facebook developer claims the office is rarely more than a third full as people have learned to stay home if they want to produce anything deep. A critique of open offices, however, inspires a natural follow-up question: what works better? For one possible answer we can turn once again to Spolsky. Back in 2003, when Spolsky was still running Fog Creek, they moved offices. He called it the bionic office. Read more » A Famous Rabbi’s Advice for Getting Important Things Done October 12th, 2016 · 18 comments Kalonymous Kalman Shapira was an influential Polish Rabbi murdered by the Nazis in the Trawniki concentration camp. Is Facebook’s Massive Open Office Scaring Away Developers? How And Why To Keep A “Commonplace Book” The other day I was reading a book and I came across a little anecdote.
It was about the great Athenian general Themistocles. Before the battle of Salamis, he was locked in a vigorous debate with a Spartan general about potential strategies for defeating the Persians. Themistocles was clearly in the minority with his views (but which ultimately turned out to be right and saved Western Civilization). He continued to interrupt and contradict the other generals.
Finally, the Spartan general threatened to strike Themistocles if he didn’t shut up and stop. When I read this, I immediately began a ritual that I have practiced for many years–and that others have done for centuries before me–I marked down the passage and later transferred it to my “commonplace book.” In other posts, we’ve talked about how to read more, which books to read, how to read books above your level and how to write.
What is a Commonplace book? Some of the greatest men and women in history have kept these books.