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Troll Physics. U jelly, mortality? Trollnado Come on guys, use your brains. It’s so obvious!!! :p. The Onion - America's Finest News Source. Hyperbole and a Half. The God of Cake. My mom baked the most fantastic cake for my grandfather's 73rd birthday party.

The God of Cake

The cake was slathered in impossibly thick frosting and topped with an assortment of delightful creatures which my mom crafted out of mini-marshmallows and toothpicks. To a four-year-old child, it was a thing of wonder - half toy, half cake and all glorious possibility. But my mom knew that it was extremely important to keep the cake away from me because she knew that if I was allowed even a tiny amount of sugar, not only would I become intensely hyperactive, but the entire scope of my existence would funnel down to the singular goal of obtaining and ingesting more sugar.

My need for sugar would become so massive, that it would collapse in upon itself and create a vacuum into which even more sugar would be drawn until all the world had been stripped of sweetness. Image Labeler. Gaming.reddit: what's new in gaming. Reddit.com: what's new online!