White Whine - A Collection of First-World Problems. Lamebook – Funny Facebook Statuses, Fails, LOLs and More – The Original. A Daily Digest of the Dumbest Stuff People Do. On truTV.com. Guyism: Hot Girls, Humor, Videos, Photos, Sports, Beer, Celebrities. The 5 Most Horrible Things Nobody Tells You About Babies. Hollywood comedies about parenthood depend entirely on making raising a kid look a ridiculous, hectic mess.
Then, eventually the leading man finds out that in the end, the rewards make it all worth it. That's mostly because for whatever reason, baby murder is still taboo in modern Hollywood comedies. When you have a real kid, you realize there's plenty of stuff those movies don't show you. If they did, their zany comedy about a single father finding a baby on his doorstep would quickly become a nightmare inducing horror that would shut down the genitals of any aspiring parent. Maybe that's why you don't see... #5. In the movies, the setup is always the same. Photos.com What most parents aren't prepared for is the day the baby decides to evacuate 20 tons of waste from his system every 10 minutes for 24 hours straight. This turns it into an open wound. The next time the baby starts to cry, you'll get out your poop disposal equipment, remove the diaper and recoil in horror.
. #4. . #3. When Parents Text. Cracked.com - America's Only Humor & Video Site Since 1958. The 6 Biggest Badasses Who Lived As The Opposite Sex. Throughout history, men and women have disguised themselves as the opposite sex, some of them really really well, in a way that confuses and possibly arouses us.
But among them are the truly amazing stories where their masquerade wasn't discovered with the dramatic removal of a hat with some slow motion hair tossing, but after some surprise genitals turn up in a post-mortem examination. They lived their whole lives, often convincing even their spouses that they were a different gender. How? Sometimes they were very clever, sometimes they were very hardcore and sometimes the people around them were very stupid. 6 Reasons The Guy Who's Fixing Your Computer Hates You. By my calculations, about 96 percent of all computer repairs are done, not by the local computer guy or the Geek Squad, but by The Friend Who is Good With Computers.
Often that friend is nothing more than an average computer user who knows how to look up error messages on Google, but it doesn't matter -- once they become known as TFWIGWC, they will get the call every time something goes wrong. And they will fix it, probably for free, because TFWIGWC pities you. Still, any time a bunch of TFWIGWCs get together and share their computer repair horror stories, you learn that there are certain things their "customers" do that make them want to ram their head through a wall.
So, before I touch your computer, friend who may or may not do me a favor in return for this free repair job, here's what you should know: #6. This computer is yours. 5 Cosmic Events That Could Kill You Before Lunch. Sure, everybody has seen Armageddon and knows that if an asteroid should come hurdling toward us, we'd just have to send up a bunch of dudes to stuff a bomb inside it. Easy! But it turns out there are a whole lot of other, less well-known threats out there in the cosmos that that could wipe us out at any moment. And we'd probably never see them coming.
Stellar black holes are so-named because they are only "sort of" more massive than our sun, in contrast with supermassive black holes that can stomp an entire galaxy into oblivion because they feel like it. There are thousands of these stellar black holes floating around space. The 6 Most Statistically Full of Shit Professions. People get paid a lot of money to be experts on things, so one would assume they're much more knowledgeable than the average Joe or, at the very least, a blindfolded monkey throwing darts.
Sadly, in many cases this just isn't true, and the so called "expertise" in question amounts to little more than a shot in the goddamn dark. Here are a few cases of experts that probably shouldn't inspire as much confidence as they do. Many of us find the stock market too intimidating to put money into, or at least we would if we had the money to invest in the first place.
How do you decide what stocks to pick? We can't even pick where to go for lunch half the time and we understand lunch. 5 Scientific Theories That Will Make Your Head Explode. There are generally two types of science: first, there's the type that makes computers work, allows us to ride around in metal boxes propelled by continuous explosion, and makes it so that milk doesn't taste all gross.
Then there's the fringe science, the stuff that shoots up your nose like mathematical horseradish and dances a jig on your brain...or brane, as it were (that's the nerdiest joke in the article, we promise). So kick off your work boots, put on your thought slippers, and prepare for a science course so mind-blowing, it's written almost entirely in italics. The Theory: Quantum Entanglement. 6 Classic Songs That Were Supposed to Be Jokes. We tend to think of successful songs as the carefully crafted result of great artistic vision and hours of grueling, dedicated work.
This isn't always the case, though. Every so often a song explodes into the mainstream completely by accident, tearing up the charts to the surprise (and sometimes chagrin) of the musicians responsible. Like ... #6. "Loser" -- Beck The first and biggest hit of Beck's life would be the result of a bored Beck and his ability to make up random bullshit on the fly.
6 Harry Potter Films According to Someone Who Never Saw Them. If you're anything like me, you've never read a Harry Potter book or seen a Harry Potter movie. Statistically speaking, you are nothing like me, as the latest installment of the Potter franchise is already poised to smash all relevant box office records, everywhere. 5 Questions the Lost Writers Need to Answer (And Why They Won't) 10 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden in Famous Albums. Music is apparently a great place to hide secret messages.
The Underground Railroad supposedly coded escape plans into slave work songs, and Mozart's music features more secret Masonic symbolism than the back of a dollar bill. Well, it turns out some of the most popular musicians of the past 50 years have been getting in on the action too, and just not telling anyone. 9 YouTube Videos That Prove Anyone Can Get Sober. On October 30, 2009, I quit drinking.
But instead of just quietly giving it up and moving on with my life like a normal person, I decided to record it and post the process online, farting out a YouTube video every few months to create a kind of Behind the Music episode played in reverse (where the band starts out drunk and impoverished and slowly gets a record deal). This went on for the next two years and I'm going to spoil the ending -- there was no relapse and I'm still sober.
Anyway, I've gotten thousands of messages about these from people saying they've helped them, which is a weird place for me to be in. The 6 Most Frequently Quoted Brain Facts (That Are Total BS) After millennia of research, experts still don't know very much about the human brain.
As such, most of what you have picked up on the subject from pop culture is just laughably wrong. In fact, we'll bet you even heard some or all of these brain myths in school at some point ... #6. The 5 Most Depraved Sex Scenes Implied by 'Harry Potter' The Harry Potter series has sold billions of dollars worth of books, movie tickets and DVDs because it's one of those rare series that children can enjoy but won't make adults want to gouge out their eyes.
Author J.K. Rowling had a way of throwing a bone to the grown-ups here and there by slipping in sly little adult references along the way. It's usually done in subtext (like the elderly wizard Dumbledore's homosexual relationship with the male wizard Grindelwald), but sometimes it's right there in the open for anyone perceptive enough to get it. And sometimes, that shit gets nasty. #5. Via Wikimedia Commons Dolores Umbridge is perhaps the one person in the whole Harry Potter universe who is virtually impossible to like, no matter what angle you choose to piss on her from.
July 26, 2011 - Juan Williams - The Daily Show With Jon Stewart - Full Episode Video. Dramatic reading of a break-up letter. Adult Humor. Is your cat trying to kill you? - melodymaker's posterous. Dropped Food Guide. The Ultimate Rejection Letter. Top 10 Stephen Colbert Food Moments. Doctors' Slang, Medical Slang and Medical Acronyms, Veterinary Slang, Veterinary Acronyms. Encyclopedia of Humor. 2001.