background preloader

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

The Ultimate Rejection Letter
Herbert A. Millington Chair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill, MA 34109 Dear Professor Millington, Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time.

http://www.chaosmatrix.org/library/humor/reject.html

5 beast soldiers We all understand that action movies are cheesy escapism. After all, could one commando really take out a whole compound full of bad guys? Actually, yes. It turns out the history books are full of stories of soldiers doing things so badass they'd hesitate to put them into a film for fear of killing the realism. Like these five, for example. #5.

Nine Hilariously Awkward Facebook Interactions What happens when you insult the boss you’ve added as a friend and ask a friend if their child is stoned? The most hilariously awkward Facebook interactions ever: My Goatee Isn’t Stupid Why You Don’t Friend Your Boss On Facebook Putting Your Credit Card On Facebook…. Your Age on Other Worlds Want to melt those years away? Travel to an outer planet! <div class="js-required"><hr> This Page requires a Javascript capable browser <hr></div> How to Totally Troll someones Computer [pic] Email If you have ever wanted to carry out the ultimate practical joke using someone’s computer as your tool then this guide on how to troll a persons computer is something that you must read. For more hints, tips, news and all things technology and geek related please follow us on Facebook or Twitter or subscribe to our feed. [via - neatoroma] Be Sociable, Share!

Husband and target Husband banned from Target After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target. Invented Card Games This section of the card games site is devoted to new games played with existing cards. The idea is to provide a forum for card game inventors to publish their ideas, and to try out and comment on each other's games. Traditional card games will not be found here, but in the main body of the site (see for example the alphabetical index). New games which require a special pack of cards designed for that game, which you have to buy from the publisher, will also not be found here. They are listed on the Commercial Games page.

What Is Globalization? Finally, a definition of globalization that one can understand and to which we now can relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Tragically, Princess Diana’s death. Question: Why? Your Daily Life in GIFs (10.24.11) Here are 23 little scenarios that you’ve probably encountered at one point or another. And chances are, your reaction was quite similar to the corresponding animated GIFs. When you look forward to something and it doesn’t happen: When your friend is mad and you act like a retard to try and cheer them up: Still life: Bent objects & OWNI.eu, News, Augmented UPDATE: The Return of Bent Objects Wires transform these objects from inanimate to hilarious works of art. Little polish girl McDonalds as Sculpture Materials

Round Three: Your Daily Life in GIFs (26 GIFs) These animated GIFs are like looking into the mirror of your daily life. When you see someone do math without a calculator: When you accidentally email something before you’re finished: When you’re in line and someone cuts in front of you: Jenny vs. Spencer JENNY vs. SPENCER: SPENCER RESPONDS! I'm sure that everyone has seen Jenny quitting via dry-erase board, but now Jenny's mysterious boss has responded the same way.

Lots of Jokes - Anger Management When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it... I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.' I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?' Rules from the male side! We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. There are our rules:- Please note.... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE! 1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it.

Meat I’m honored that this often shows up on the internet. Here’s the correct version, as published in Omni, 1990. "They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "Meat.

HAHAH this actually made me laught :) by daril_00 Jun 27

Related:  Quotes