Water is dangerous. This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26.
He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide. " And for plenty of good reasons, since: it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting it is a major component in acid rain it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state accidental inhalation can kill you it contributes to erosion it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.
He feels the conclusion is obvious. Why americans should never be allowed to travel. I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii? " I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.
"Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa. " A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada? " Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. A nice lady just called. A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who? " 19 Hilarious Harry Potter Comics. English. Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations.
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child? "Witness: "I only have one, you know. " Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? "Witness: "By death. " Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse? " The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail. Lawyer: "What is your date of birth? " Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house? " Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? " Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like? " Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all? " Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you? " Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ? "