I Gotta Feeling Parody. Surviving the World - Lesson 579 - Blasphemy. aM laboratory. Cookies by Douglas Adams. Planning_vs_the_internet.png (825×4950) Procrastination-flowchart-1.jpg (1490×1188) Poor Stupid Cat. This is my cat. Her name is Lola, and she's not all there.
When Lola was a kitten, she somehow got outside and drank antifreeze. She was never quite right after that. I decided to keep her indoors until she was an adult, because I didn't trust her to take care of herself outside. A couple years later, I decided to see if I could expand her horizons beyond the confines of my house. I opened the front door and gave her a little nudge. Cautiously, she took a few steps across the yard, and then completely lost her shit.
That was the last time I let her outdoors. Like a lot of cats, Lola liked to sleep in the sink. As time progressed, Lola developed a sort of guard dog mentality, growling quietly at company and stalking them as they moved from room to room. Back when she was a kitten, unfettered by the sweet allure of engine coolant, Lola's hunter instincts served her well. She still does this from time to time, always suddenly and without warning. Jenny vs. Spencer. JENNY vs. SPENCER: SPENCER RESPONDS! I'm sure that everyone has seen Jenny quitting via dry-erase board, but now Jenny's mysterious boss has responded the same way. Bananas and Monkeys. Original source unknown. (But the story appears to have some basis in fact.) Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Now, put away the cold water. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.
And that, my friends, is how company policies are made. Return to Jim Huggins' Humor Page. Life hacks.