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Excerpts from a Dog and a Cat Diary… Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary… 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! 12:00 PM – Lunch! 1:00 PM – Played in the yard! 3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! 5:00 PM – Milk bones! 7:00 PM – Got to play ball! 8:00 PM – Wow! 11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary? Day 983 of my captivity. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The bird has got to be an informant. Attack of the cute. THINGS YOU LEARN IN COLLEGE & The Career Closet. I had to post this hilarious list from you don’t learn these things in class Quarters are like gold.Flip-flops become as important as soap, and shampoo.


Asleep by 2:30 AM is an early night. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry’s, Ho-Hos and Oreos. Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries. Duct tape heals all wounds. Showers become less important. Sleep becomes more important. 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class. Going to the mailbox was never an ego-booster (or ego-breaker) before. You begin to nap again. The book your professor wrote is always required for his class. Untitled Document. Watch Important Things with Demetri Martin Online - Full Episodes of Important Things with Demetri Martin.

SilentReaper's deviantART Gallery. POKEMON IN REAL LIFE 2! How To Speak English. My American Accent. BEST DANCE CREW. BEST CREW vs POREOTICS. BEST CREW - The Audition. SMOSH - POKEMON THEME SONG. Pokemon Theme Song REVENGE! Stupid Answers. Sure, these kids may think they're pretty clever now, but wait until they're all serving grand slams at Dennys when they're in their 30s.

Stupid Answers

What Koalas do When it is Hot. 10 Best Crazy Texts From Parents!: Pics, Videos, Links, News. The End. Lost Camera : The Bored Ninja – Fun, Interesting, and Cool Stuff on the Internet. Battle Of The Church Signs. Mommy's nose is both scary... and funny. Lost Camera : The Bored Ninja – Fun, Interesting, and Cool Stuff on the Internet.