Excerpts from a Dog and a Cat Diary… Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary… 8:00 am – Dog food!
My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! 12:00 PM – Lunch! 1:00 PM – Played in the yard! 3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! 5:00 PM – Milk bones! 7:00 PM – Got to play ball! 8:00 PM – Wow! 11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary? Day 983 of my captivity. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The bird has got to be an informant.
Attack of the cute. THINGS YOU LEARN IN COLLEGE & The Career Closet. I had to post this hilarious list from www.funny2.com/collegeBut you don’t learn these things in class Quarters are like gold.Flip-flops become as important as soap, and shampoo.
Asleep by 2:30 AM is an early night. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry’s, Ho-Hos and Oreos. Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries. Duct tape heals all wounds. Showers become less important. Sleep becomes more important. 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class. Going to the mailbox was never an ego-booster (or ego-breaker) before. You begin to nap again. The book your professor wrote is always required for his class. E-mail becomes your second language. Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies. Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they’re a Godsend. You never realized so many people are smarter than you. You never realized so many people are dumber than you. Untitled Document. Watch Important Things with Demetri Martin Online - Full Episodes of Important Things with Demetri Martin.
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