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How to Use Eye Contact to Improve Your Business and Love Life

How to Use Eye Contact to Improve Your Business and Love Life
In our first post in this two-part series on eye contact, we discussed the importance of eye contact and some of the reasons we don’t always feel comfortable looking someone in the eye. But just because eye contact is a great thing and a vital tool for improving the quality of all your face-to-face interactions with others, doesn’t mean that more eye contact is always better or that all eye contact is created equal. You have to do it right—at the right time and in the right way. How to do that is what we’ll be exploring today. We’ll start off with a primer on how to make good eye contact in general conversational situations, and then we’ll tackle eye contact tips for specific scenarios. General Principles for Making Effective Eye Contact Eye contact begets eye contact. But don’t be a creeper. Thus good eye contact is based on mutuality. “In order for eye contact to feel good, one person cannot impose his visual will on another; it is a shared experience. Don’t overdo it. Hide your eyes. Related:  Art of Manlinessukundrotaite

Men’s Hats: Fedoras, Porkpies and the Derby Up until the 1950s, men were rarely seen out and about without a hat sitting upon their head. Since that time, the wearing of hats has seen a precipitous decline. No one is precisely sure why. Hats are due for a full resurgence. Of course men today still wear hats, but they are most often confined to ratty baseball caps, hippie beanie caps, or the thankfully almost extinct trucker hat. The Flat Cap Photo by Menno Ophelia The flat cap has a rounded shape, a small brim, and a high back. The Fedora Fedoras were once considered de rigueur for men going out in public and a necessary accessory to formal and business attire. The Porkpie Photo from The French Connection Named for its resemblance to an actual pork pie, this hat is similar to a fedora but with a flat top instead of a pinched crown. The Homburg Photo from The Godfather The Homburg is another hat similar to the fedora. Photo by Lainey’s Repertorie Bowlers are hard, made of felt, and have very short brims. Wearing a Hat Hat Etiquette

Social Intelligence Competencies Predict Transformational Leadership Style and Effectiveness Look ‘Em in the Eye: Part I -The Importance of Eye Contact How often have you talked with another guy who never looked you in the eye during the entire length of the conversation? Or perhaps he did meet your gaze a few times, but then his eyes shifted back to his shoes or to some point off in the distance. I’d like to say that the ability to make good eye contact is one of the social skills a lot of young men seem to be struggling with these days, which would be true, but I’ve encountered enough gaze-averting middle-aged men to know that it’s a multi-generational problem. But just because making eye contact doesn’t come naturally to us men, doesn’t mean you should just shrug your shoulders and accept this predisposition. More dominant and powerful More warm and personable More attractive and likeable More qualified, skilled, competent, and valuable More trustworthy, honest, and sincere More confident and emotionally stable And the best part of all this is that improving your eye contact is something you can do relatively quickly and easily.

How to Handle Being Out of Your Depth: 6 Tips from a Con Man Your boss invites you to the country club to play a round of golf with him and other important higher ups. You’ve never stepped foot in a country club before, and haven’t played any golf beyond putt-putt. You’re hoping to graduate early and decide to take an advanced class that’s required for your major, even though you haven’t taken the recommended prerequisites for the class. You put “Excel” under your list of skills on your resume because you once created a super simple table to chart your exercises. A rich friend has invited you to a charity ball in which the guests make about 10 times as much as you do. You’re a high school sophomore, and your brother invites you out with him and his graduate student friends. You move to a foreign country and only know how to ask, “Where is the library?” Every man will experience a scenario like those outlined above at least once in his life. Sometimes out of our depth situations are our own fault. 1. Of course, he also always made sure to… 2. 3. 4.

Richard Branson on Self-Awareness for Leadership Growth Editor's Note: Entrepreneur Richard Branson regularly shares his business experience and advice with readers. Ask him a question and your query might be the inspiration for a future column. Q: What are the key personal characteristics that go hand-in-hand with business success? -- Titto Mbuvi All sorts of people find success as entrepreneurs, in every profession and area of life. Like most other companies, we at the Virgin Group have experienced a number of failures along with our successes -- it is so easy to get things wrong. This is what happened when we launched Virgin Cola in 1994. But as time went on, we realized that we'd failed to adhere to our own rules. With Virgin Cola, we were so intent on repeating our model that led to previous successes that we didn't notice the problems with our idea. I've found that knowing your business and yourself can also help you to know when to follow your instincts, so you can find the courage to move ahead and ignore the advice of naysayers.

Listen Up! Part I: Learning the Manly Skill of Paying Attention Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Tony Valdes. As part of earning my bachelor’s degree in rhetoric and communications I elected to take SPC 3350, a college course titled “Listening,” taught by the forebodingly named Dr. Paine. I’ll admit that I was skeptical when I sat down on the first day of class. After all, is listening really something we have to learn to do? According to Dr. And learning to do it well can make all the difference for a man. Let’s compare it to something we’re more likely to notice. When it comes to listening, we have a tendency to look at the words but never really “read” what our family, friends, and co-workers are saying. In this first installment of a three-part series, we’ll look at the overlooked emphasis of listening within our daily interactions, the three available levels of listening, and the benefits that are to be had by developing this skill at its highest level. Listening in Perspective Levels of Listening Level 1: Hearing Words This is the ideal.

Do More Than One Stinking Pull-Up I’m still haunted by my 6th grade gym class. At the beginning of the semester, all the students took part in a physical fitness test. Part of the test included a visit to the old chin-up bar. I remember standing in line nervously knowing I was about to embarrass myself. I watched all the skinny kids bust out pull-ups like they were nothing. “Okay, McKay,” the coach said, “you’re up.” I summoned all the positive thinking I could at that moment. Ever since then, I’ve made it a goal in life to be able to do pull-ups. The Benefits of Pull-Ups The pull-up is a strength-building dynamo. FingersForearmsBicepsTricepsShouldersBackCore Not only will your strength increase dramatically from pull-ups, but your upper body will become bigger and more defined. How Not to Do Pull-Ups Many men who have trouble doing pull-ups go to the assisted pull-up machine to help them crank the pull-ups out. First, a mental factor exists when doing pull-ups. The “Do More Than One Stinking Pull-Up” Routine Tree limb.

60 Inconvenient Personal Development Truths I know you want to be the best you can be. We all do. But sometimes we look for success in the wrong places or we try to achieve it in the wrong ways. Here are 60 inconvenient truths about personal development to help you stay on track. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing. And remember, the extra mile is the stretch of road that’s never crowded. Photo by: Moiht Related 101 Simple Truths We Often Forget It‘s not where we stand but in what direction we are moving. January 15, 2012 In "Hacks" 9 Addictions 90% of Us Struggle With We are addicted to our thoughts. May 17, 2015 In "Aspirations" 10 Good Reminders for Stressful Times “Fall seven times, stand up eight!”

Improve Your Listening: 15 Tips to Improve Your Listening Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Tony Valdes. Welcome back to our three-part series on becoming better listeners. In the previous installment, we established that listening is a desirable ability to have as men. But how can we practically begin to exercise this ability and develop it in ourselves? There are active steps we can take to overcome obstacles and establish new listening habits. Sharpening our listening skills is relatively easy to begin practicing since most of it is based on knowing what constitutes good listening and what doesn’t. 1. Be ready to hear and consider all sides of an issue. 2. Suppress the urge to let biases and prejudices prevent you from listening fully. A great way to prepare for this in advance is to be aware of what your biases are and then try to reason out why you feel this way. 3. The best gauge to know whether you are listening or just hearing is whether or not you are actively looking for the central idea(s) of what is being said. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Best Movies to Watch: 100 Must See Movies For Men For whatever reason (most likely the fact that viewing is easier than reading), films don’t seem to get the same kind of cultural respect as books do. Which is a shame because excellent movies can be just as entertaining, mind-expanding, and life changing as good books. Scenes, characters, and quotes from the greatest movies stay with us long after we view them. Their ability to transport you to different times and exotic locations, to completely absorb you in the story, make movies one of the closest approximations of real magic we have in this world. And for better and for worse, film has had a huge impact on masculinity in the 20th Century. We didn’t want to make a list of movies that consisted solely of violence and gratuitous T and A that make up most guy movie lists. Let us know in the comments which movies you loved, which ones you hated, and the movies you think every man should see before he dies. The Great Escape Best line: “I’m going… out.” Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Can You Really Improve Your Emotional Intelligence? - Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic Who wouldn’t want a higher level of emotional intelligence? Studies have shown that a high emotional quotient (or EQ) boosts career success, entrepreneurial potential, leadership talent, health, relationship satisfaction, humor, and happiness. It is also the best antidote to work stress and it matters in every job — because all jobs involve dealing with people, and people with higher EQ are more rewarding to deal with. Most coaching interventions try to enhance some aspect of EQ, usually under the name of social, interpersonal, or soft skills training. The underlying reasoning is that, whereas IQ is very hard to change, EQ can increase with deliberate practice and training. But what is the evidence? Nearly 3,000 scientific articles have been published on EQ since the concept was first introduced in 1990, and there are five key points to consider: Everyone can change, but few people are seriously willing to try. 2. 4) Some techniques (and coaches) are more competent than others.

When you should look them in the eye. by jgiggles Feb 27

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