What it means to "hold space" for people, plus eight tips on how to do it well - Heather Plett
When my mom was dying, my siblings and I gathered to be with her in her final days. None of us knew anything about supporting someone in her transition out of this life into the next, but we were pretty sure we wanted to keep her at home, so we did. While we supported mom, we were, in turn, supported by a gifted palliative care nurse, Ann, who came every few days to care for mom and to talk to us about what we could expect in the coming days. She taught us how to inject Mom with morphine when she became restless, she offered to do the difficult tasks (like giving Mom a bath), and she gave us only as much information as we needed about what to do with Mom’s body after her spirit had passed. “Take your time,” she said. “You don’t need to call the funeral home until you’re ready. Ann gave us an incredible gift in those final days. In the two years since then, I’ve often thought about Ann and the important role she played in our lives. What does it mean to hold space for someone else?
worrying-about-stuff-is-a-sign-of-intelligence
The tendency to worry about stuff could be a sign of a certain kind of intelligence, according to a paper in an upcoming edition of the journal Personality and Individual Differences (hat tip to Christian Jarrett at the British Psychology Society's Research Digest for spotting it first). A team led by Alexander Penney of Ontario's Lakehead University gave 126 undergrads a litany of surveys and questionnaires designed to measure both their intelligence and how much they tended to stress about events in their lives. (For instance, they were asked how strongly they agreed with statements like, "I am always worried about something.") After analyzing the results, Penney and his team found a correlation between worrying and verbal intelligence. Correlation doesn't imply causation, of course, but this is not the first paper to have found a link between anxiety and intelligence.
Como fazer alguém se apaixonar por você
Eles só se encontraram por causa de um questionário. A equipe do psicólogo Arthur Aron (aquele mesmo da pesquisa na Ponte Suspensa de Capilano) havia convidado voluntários para responder a uma série de perguntas sobre estilo de vida, hobbies, interesses etc. Com base nessas respostas, Aron formou uma série de casais que dividiam gostos e ideias parecidos para ficar frente a frente e conversar. Eis as perguntas do questionário do amor, que faria duas pessoas desconhecidas se apaixonarem: FASE 11. FASE 2 13. FASE 325. A ideia do questionário era criar laços de confiança de um jeito bem rápido. Aqueles quatro minutos finais de encarada amarraram de vez os laços. Crédito da foto: flickr.com/calamity_photography/ Esse texto faz parte do livro Ciência Maluca, recém-publicado pela Editora Abril, que já está à venda em bancas e livrarias.
Why Do Men Prefer Nice Women?: Responsiveness and Desire - Society for Personality and Social Psychology
Friday, July 25, 2014 (0 Comments) Posted by: Jen Santisi People's emotional reactions and desires in initial romantic encounters determine the fate of a potential relationship. Responsiveness may be one of those initial "sparks" necessary to fuel sexual desire and land a second date. However, it may not be a desirable trait for both men and women on a first date. Does responsiveness increase sexual desire in the other person? Femininity and Attractiveness Researchers from the Interdisciplinary Center (IDC) Herzliya, the University of Rochester, and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, collaborated on three studies to observe people's perceptions of responsiveness. In the first study, the researchers examined whether responsiveness is perceived as feminine or masculine, and whether men or women perceived a responsive person of the opposite sex as sexually desirable. Sparking Sexual Desire Women's Perceptions of Responsiveness Birnbaum, G.
How to Deal with Chronic Complainers
10 Best-Ever Anxiety-Management Techniques
By Margaret Wehrenberg "I don't think I want to live if I have to go on feeling like this." I hear this remark all too often from anxiety sufferers. They say it matter-of-factly or dramatically, but they all feel the same way: if anxiety symptoms are going to rule their lives, then their lives don't seem worth living. What is it about anxiety that's so horrific that otherwise high-functioning people are frantic to escape it? But what clients don't know when they start taking meds is the unacknowledged cost of relying solely on pills: they'll never learn some basic methods that can control or eliminate their symptoms without meds. Of course, therapists know that eliminating symptomatology isn't the same as eliminating etiology.
Como flechar o coração de todos aqueles que conhecer | Ciência
Contamos com sete segundos e apenas uma oportunidade, segundo a famosa coach internacional Carol Kinsey Goman, para causar uma primeira boa impressão. Não acontece todos os dias, mas frequentemente, e, hoje, precisamente, pode ser o dia em que você vai conhecer essa pessoa especial para quem tem que parecer deslumbrante. Vamos estabelecer uma pergunta clara: Como é possível agradar? Ela descreve o instante em que conhecemos alguém da seguinte forma: “No momento em que um desconhecido olha para você, o cérebro dele começa a trabalhar criando milhares de associações para se perguntar se você é uma pessoa confiável ou se, pelo contrário, deve ter receio". Em resumo, logo após conhecer alguém, ativamos um nível primário com o qual nos questionamos se é amigo ou inimigo, e nos preparamos para agir baseados nisso. O fato de alguém te escutar produz uma sensação de prazer ilimitada no cérebro, semelhante à causada pela comida e pelo dinheiro 1. 2.
5 Surefire Ways to Kill a Relationship
It’s true enough that, day to day, all couples disagree and fight but research makes clear that it’s how we fight, and how often, that matters. The more such behaviors you see in your marriage—coming from either you or your spouse—the more slippery the slope. And, of course, focusing on how you resolve conflict alone isn’t the whole story: You need to ask yourself what you’re doing when you’re not fighting, too. Keeping in mind John Gottman’s now-famous 5:1 formula—that it takes five happy-making, restorative, and constructive moments to outweigh the effect of a destructive one—here are some of the behaviors that take us furthest from that ideal and most damage our relationships. If you want out, then by all means, do the following: 1. The formal name for this is “causal attribution.” A couple gets into a car with a destination in mind—it could be a restaurant, a party, even a romantic getaway spot. 2. Imagine a couple in their living room. 3. 4. 5. Gottman, John. Schrodt, Paul, Paul L.
Creatures of Habit: How Neurons Weigh Behavioral Cost and Reward
We are creatures of habit, nearly mindlessly executing routine after routine. Some habits we feel good about; others, less so. Habits are, after all, thought to be driven by reward-seeking mechanisms that are built into the brain. It turns out, however, that the brain’s habit-forming circuits may also be wired for efficiency. New research from MIT shows that habit formation, at least in primates, is driven by neurons that represent the cost of a habit, as well as the reward. “The brain seems to be wired to seek some near optimality of cost and benefit,” says Ann Graybiel, an Institute Professor at MIT and also a member of the McGovern Institute for Brain Research. This study is the first to show that cost considerations are wired into the learning of habits. The anatomy of a habit Previous work by Graybiel and her colleagues discovered clear beginning and ending signals in the brain when habits are performed. In addition, these habitual eye-scanning patterns became more efficient.
Interactive Sex Questionnaire for Couples | Mojo Upgrade
Interviews with serial killers
