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Abusive parents: What do grown children owe the mothers and fathers who made their childhood a living hell?

Abusive parents: What do grown children owe the mothers and fathers who made their childhood a living hell?
Illustration by Charlie Powell What do we owe our tormentors? It’s a question that haunts those who had childhoods marked by years of neglect and deprivation, or of psychological, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of one or both parents. Despite this terrible beginning, many people make it out successfully and go on to build satisfying lives. Now their mother or father is old, maybe ailing, possibly broke. With a sense of guilt and dread, these adults are grappling with whether and how to care for those who didn’t care for them. Emily Yoffe is a contributing editor at the Atlantic. Rochelle, 37, wrote to me in my role as Slate’s Dear Prudence because of the pressure she was getting from friends to reach out to her mother. Rochelle started waitressing when she was 15. That was Rochelle’s breaking point—after that, she didn’t see her mother for the next 13 years. The visits took a toll. There is no formula for defining one’s obligations to the parents who didn’t fulfill their own.

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Psychopaths vs. Sadists: Brain Science, Public Fascination Psychopathic serial killers are a source of infinite public fascination. If best-selling novels, hit TV series and popular films are any indication, you’d think real-life Hannibal Lecters were constantly running amok in the U.S. Thankfully, such offenders are far less prevalent in reality than they are in entertainment — but the disproportionate damage done by violent and even nonviolent psychopaths not surprisingly attracts intense scientific interest as well.

inherit_stress_from_parents_snowshoe_hares_provide_new_research_video A recent study from the University of Pennsylvania used 60 years of data on the snowshoe hare to identify stress as a major factor in the wildly varying numbers from generation to generation. Freaked-out hare females with high levels of stress hormones give birth to smaller litters, with smaller babies who also possess high stress hormone levels, and subsequent generations then decline in numbers. In humans, we know stress is a factor in heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. And an increasing body of work suggests we may be able to inherit stress by means other than our DNA.

The Psychopath: The Mask of Sanity THE PSYCHOPATH - The Mask of Sanity Special Research Project of the Quantum Future School Imagine - if you can - not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern for the well-being of strangers, friends, or even family members. Imagine no struggles with shame, not a single one in your whole life, no matter what kind of selfish, lazy, harmful, or immoral action you had taken.

Why the Definition of Depression Isn't Working Health Many psychiatrists believe that a new approach to diagnosing and treating depression—linking individual symptoms to their underlying mechanisms—is needed for research to move forward. Please consider disabling it for our site, or supporting our work in one of these ways Subscribe Now > In his Aphorisms, Hippocrates defined melancholia, an early understanding of depression, as a state of “fears and despondencies, if they last a long time.” It was caused, he believed, by an excess of bile in the body (the word “melancholia” is ancient Greek for “black bile”).

Brain Abnormalities Found in Narcissists Narcissistic Personality Disorder Basics The American Psychiatric Association categorizes narcissistic personality disorder with a group of conditions called Cluster B personality disorders. All of these disorders produce behaviors or thought processes that rely to a dysfunctional degree on emotional excess or drama. People affected by NPD do such things as focus their lives around self-centered pursuits, greet criticism with outsized or excessive emotional displays, manipulate others for their own purposes, redirect other people’s attention toward themselves, make unsupported boasts or exaggerations, expect others to treat them as superiors or “betters,” and develop heavily involved fantasies centered on unfounded notions of their own abilities or achievements. Unusual Brain Thinness

How Smartphone Apps Can Treat Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia Bryan Timlin always carries an iPhone and an Android phone. The 57-year-old is an app and graphic designer with a Michigan company called OptHub, but he doesn’t carry two phones for work. He carries the iPhone because that’s what he likes, and he carries the Android because it’s what he needs. The Android phone monitors his behavior. Five years ago, Timlin was diagnosed with rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, a mental illness characterized by four or more manic or depressive episodes a year. How narcissism got to be a thing. This article was originally posted on October 7 and 11, 2015 in two parts. It has been updated and merged. Disclaimer: It was pointed out to me that this post may seem overly critical or stereotyping of Baby Boomers. I’m aware that the selfishness and lack of empathy we see today extends across ALL generations. Also, many Boomers were never narcissistic and some were, in fact, abused or neglected, especially toward the end of that generation (which I myself am a part of). But it is a fact that on a societal level, this was an especially indulged generation that led to an overall entitled mindset, even if many individuals never fit that trend.

Gut feelings: the future of psychiatry may be inside your stomach Her parents were running out of hope. Their teenage daughter, Mary, had been diagnosed with a severe case of obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), as well as ADHD. They had dragged her to clinics around the country in an effort to thwart the scary, intrusive thoughts and the repetitive behaviors that Mary felt compelled to perform. The Place of "Cognitive Dissonance" in Narcissistic Victim Syndrome Understanding Cognitive Dissonance in relation to narcissistic abuse: Stockholm syndrome involves the victim paradoxically forming a positive relationship with their oppressor; this is called “Trauma Bonding”. When victims of narcissistic are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, they are often seen by outsiders as somehow having participated in some bizarre way that seems to support their abuse. However, to understand how the trauma bonding occurs, it is especially relevant to understand what is involved in the decision-making and problem-solving process of the victim. This theory is known as Cognitive Dissonance.

Four Ways Hospitals are Improving Behavioral Health Care The hectic, stressful nature of the typical emergency department makes it a less than ideal setting for mental health care. Nevertheless, hospital EDs have become a major component of the nation’s de facto behavioral health system. The reasons: Years of funding cuts to public mental health organizations and the resulting loss of thousands of inpatient beds at state and county facilities, coupled with increased demand for services. Mental illness and substance abuse account for 4 percent of ED visits, or nearly 5.5 million visits a year. The increased pressure on already overburdened emergency departments results in distracted staff, bed shortages and, too often, a worsening of mental health patients’ conditions, asserts the American College of Emergency Physicians. Adds AHA President and CEO Rich Umbdenstock, “The other unfortunate thing is if it’s not the hospital, it’s the local jail or prison system, and that’s equally problematic.”

Soulmates In Hell: WORDS YOU SHOULD KNOW: DOSING Dosing is a form of love bombing that takes place long after the honeymoon phase, and during the abuse phase of the relationship, but before the discard. The narcissist seeks to keep you hooked as long as possible because you still have usefulness to the narcissist, for instance, as a part of the narcissist's harem, to prop up his image outside the home, as arm candy, as a source of money, as an unpaid baby sitter, or simply as a person the narcissist enjoys abusing. The narcissist doses you by giving you small amounts of the “three A's”...attention, appreciation, and affection in order to keep your hope up that the good times you experienced at the beginning will return for good.