16 things I know are true but haven't quite learned yet There’s a difference between knowing something and living as if it were true. At the end of 2013, these truths are all lingering on that awkward threshold, for me anyway. 1) The sooner you do something, the more of your life you get to spend with that thing done — even though it takes less effort (or at least no more) than it will later. 2) I never regret working out. 3) Whenever I’m playing with my phone I am only shortening my life. 4) Nothing makes me more productive and in-the-moment than a clean house. 5) Minute-for-minute, nothing I do is more rewarding than meditation. 6) Creative work is something that can be done at any time. 7) Acting the way you want to feel usually works. 8) Ninety-five per cent of my happiness comes from having a home, a functioning body and something to eat. 9) Our minds are geared to manage much less than we typically end up managing. 10) The quickest and most reliable path to personal improvement is to do the things on my list that I resist most.
The Two Minutes It Takes To Read This Will Improve Your Writing Forever – For The Interested You’re busy, so I’ll keep this quick. Following are the simplest tips I can give you to easily — and forever — improve the quality of your writing. Delete the word “that.” At least 90% of the times you use the word “that” can be removed from your writing and it will instantly make your sentence stronger. Example: “You believe that I’m lying, but I’m not.” becomes “You believe I’m lying, but I’m not.” Delete the words “I think.” It adds nothing. Example: “I think this is a good sentence.” becomes “This is a good sentence.” Avoid words that end in “-ing.” In most cases, the “-ing” softens your word and adds no value. Example: “The experiences we’re seeking end up being underwhelming and even disappointing.” becomes “The experiences we seek often underwhelm and disappoint.” Short sentences. Most sentences can be cut in half. Keep paragraphs to less than three sentences. White space is your reader’s friend. Shrink your opening sentence. Make it compelling, but keep it short and conversational.
How to Keep Criticism From Sinking Your Confidence Walt Whitman circa 1854. Photo from the Library of Congress. “Re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul,” Walt Whitman (May 31, 1819–March 26, 1892) wrote in offering his timeless advice on living a vibrant and rewarding life in the preface to Leaves of Grass. When Whitman first published his masterpiece in 1855, it was met with indifference punctuated by bursts of harsh criticism. It is certainly easier, though never easy, to dismiss what insults one’s soul when it comes from critics who haven’t earned one’s confidence — “Take no notice of anyone you don’t respect,” Jeanette Winterson offered in her ten wise rules of writing. Whitman modeled this exquisitely in an encounter with Emerson himself. On a crisp February afternoon in 1860, five years after the publication of Leaves of Grass, the two men took a two-hour walk along Boston Common. One of Margaret C. During those two hours he was the talker and I the listener.
7 Smart Ways to Deal with Toxic People Don’t let toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and get them out of there. Surviving the ups, downs, and lightning storms of other people’s moodiness can be quite a challenge. But there’s another type of moody, negative behavior: that of the toxic bully, who will use his or her mood swings to intimidate and manipulate. I’m a firm believer that toxic mood swings (like chain letter emails) should not be inflicted on one person by another, under any circumstances. 1. If you know someone who insists on destructively dictating the emotional atmosphere, then be clear: they are toxic. When you delete toxic people from your environment it becomes a lot easier to breathe. A healthy relationship is reciprocal; it should be give and take, but not in the sense that you’re always giving and they’re always taking. 2. Constant drama and negativity is never worth putting up with. 3. Stand up for yourself. “I’ve noticed you seem angry. Even if they say: “What do you mean?” 4. 5. 6. 7.
The Mistake You Make in Every Argument - Liane Davey - Medium A colleague says something you completely disagree with. I’m talking full-on, head-tilting, face-scrunching, crazy talk. You have a split second to decide what to do. How do you respond? A) You calmly, rationally tell the person why he’s mistaken; or B) You do a spit-take, wipe the coffee off your mouth and say, “what the f*ck?” C) You smile, nod half-heartedly and hope he drops the subject Ok, trick question. If you chose A, you tried to trump your teammate. If you chose B, you questioned your colleague’s pride. If you chose C, you just dropped the rope, threw in the towel, gave up your chance of getting to a good answer. The only constructive response when your colleague throws down the gauntlet is to first validate what he said. Yup, you read that right. Your first move is to validate the point you completely disagree with. You don’t do that, do you? You probably send very strong signals that you don’t value the perspectives of the person you disagree with. Think about a recent disagreement.
How to Be Confident (When You Don’t Have Anything to Be Confident About) How are you supposed to be confident about something when you have nothing to feel confident about? Like, how are you supposed to be confident at your new job if you’ve never done this type of work before? Or how are you supposed to be confident in social situations when no one has ever liked you before? Or how are you supposed to be confident in your relationship when you’ve never been in a successful relationship before? On the surface, confidence appears to be an area where the rich get richer and the poor stay the fucking losers they are. The Confidence Conundrum If you’ve always lost in life, then how could you ever rationally expect to be a winner? This is the confidence conundrum, where in order to be happy or loved or successful, first you need to be confident; but then to be confident, first you need to be happy or loved or successful. It’s like a dog chasing its own tail. We know a few things about confidence just from observing people. How to be more confident
The Little Book of Procrastination Remedies | zen habits Post written by Leo Babauta. Procrastination is one of those topics that, it seems, I can’t write enough about. There isn’t a person among us who doesn’t procrastinate, and that’s a fact of life. It’s deep within us. We think we’re going to do something later, or read that classic novel later, or learn French later. But we always overestimate how much we can do later, and we overestimate the ability of our later selves to beat procrastination. If our current self can’t beat procrastination, why will our future self do it? I thought I should cover some of the best procrastination-beating strategies, in light of my recent book, focus. Here’s a quick guide. Why We Procrastinate Let’s take a quick look at what makes us procrastinate. 1. 2. 3. 4. Four Powerful Solutions Now that we know the problems, the solutions aren’t that hard to figure out. 1. 2. 3. 4. A Different Mindset Three other things that must be said about procrastination: 1. 2. 3.
The Secret Algorithm Behind Learning - Personal Growth - Medium I wasn’t always a good learner. I thought learning was all about the hours you put in. Then I discovered something that changed my life. Feynman stumbled upon a formula for learning that ensured he understood something better than everyone else. It’s called the Feynman Technique and it will help you learn anything deeper, and faster. The catch: It’s ridiculously humbling. Not only is this a wonderful method of learning but it’s also a window into a different way of thinking. There are four steps to the Feynman Technique. Take out a blank sheet of paper and write the subject you want to learn at the top. A lot of people tend to use complicated vocabulary and jargon to mask when they don’t understand something. When you write out an idea from start to finish in simple language that a child can understand (tip: use only the most common words), you force yourself to understand the concept at a deeper level and simplify relationships and connections between ideas. Read them out loud.
Are you able to switch off when on holiday? Image copyright Getty Images Not everyone will share Louise Greenleaf's feelings about holidays. "I get bored really easily and keeping an eye on work keeps my brain active," says the head of marketing at City College Plymouth. "I'm also a bit of a control freak and will worry about what's going on back at the office." Given a free choice, most people would prefer not to keep in touch with the office while on holiday, but many people feel obliged to. Recent research conducted by UK cyber-security firm Tessian, which spoke to 1,000 employees in companies that employ at least 100 staff, found that more than half of UK employees feel there is an expectation within their organisation to reply to emails quickly. And six out of 10 employees use their mobile phones to send emails during out-of-office hours. Checking emails on holiday You may have heard about a new concept being talked about lately in the realm of health and wellness: digital detox. Growing expectations Going offline
Mental Enhancements The perfecting of one's self is the fundamental base of all progress and all moral development. Confucius Transhumanists are interested in metaprogramming, rewriting the programs of our minds so that we become more efficient, dynamic, positive - you name it. The good news is that most methods are quite simple, the bad news is that they require continuing use - it is not possible to just read about them, they must be used to become truly effective. There is plenty of snake oil out there, and it is important to carefully test claims, not just accept the hype because it sounds so good. Sections General Mental Transformation Short Term Goals Long Term Transhuman Goals General Methods Specific Methods and Problems Other Sites Books See Also General Mental Transformation Short Term Short term mental transformation, i.e. optimizing the minds we currently have. David Riklan and Michelle Weintraub's Self Improvement Web Guide. BigDreams. Alt.self-improve FAQ. Nucleus Inc. General Methods
untitled Emotions are tied to everything we do. They are the major source of motivation, and a big factor in our ability to think clearly. Emotions are the most present, pressing and sometimes painful force in our lives. When we act on our emotions too quickly, or when we act on the wrong kinds of emotions, we often make decisions that we later regret. Negative emotions, like anger, hurt, or bitterness, tend to spiral out of control, especially immediately after they’ve been triggered. When something “should” be certain way and isn’t, we begin to catastrophize and see things as terrible, horrible, and unbearable. Here are seven steps to develop greater emotional awareness and help you effectively manage your feelings. Don’t react right away. Like this: Like Loading...
15 Obscure Words for Everyday Feelings And Emotions The word entrepreneur literally means “undertaker”—not in the funereal way, but in the sense of someone who “undertakes” a particular activity or task. In that literal sense, the word (spelled enterprenour) first appeared in English in the 15th century but seemingly failed to catch on. It wasn’t until the early 19th century that it was plucked from obscurity and began to be used specifically to refer to theatrical producers and patrons who funded and managed musical productions, before the more familiar sense of “someone who owns and runs their own business interests” emerged in the 1850s. 1. The earliest record of the word background dates from 1671, when it first appeared in a stage direction in William Wycherley’s Restoration comedy Love In A Wood (“Ranger retires to the background”) referring to the back of a stage. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. This list first ran in 2016.
21 Ways Rich People Think Differently | teremity World’s richest woman Gina Rinehart is enduring a media firestorm over an article in which she takes the “jealous” middle class to task for ‘drinking or smoking and socializing’ rather than working to earn their own fortune. What if she has a point? Steve Siebold, author of ‘How Rich People Think’ spent nearly three decades interviewing millionaires around the world to find out what separates them from everyone else. It had little to do with money itself, he told Business Insider. It was about their mentality. “[The middle class] tells people to be happy with what they have,” he said. Average people think MONEY is the root of all evil. “The average person has been brainwashed to believe rich people are lucky or dishonest,” Siebold writes. That’s why there’s a certain shame that comes along with “getting rich” in lower-income communities. “The world class knows that while having money doesn’t guarantee happiness, it does make your life easier and more enjoyable.” He disagrees. Like this:
To Tell Someone They’re Wrong, First Tell Them They’re Right The 17th century philosopher Blaise Pascal is perhaps best known for Pascal’s Wager which, in the first formal use of decision theory, argued that believing in God is the most pragmatic decision. But it seems the French thinker also had a knack for psychology. As Brain Pickings points out, Pascal set out the most effective way to get someone to change their mind, centuries before experimental psychologists began to formally study persuasion: When we wish to correct with advantage, and to show another that he errs, we must notice from what side he views the matter, for on that side it is usually true, and admit that truth to him, but reveal to him the side on which it is false. He is satisfied with that, for he sees that he was not mistaken, and that he only failed to see all sides. Pascal added: People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others.