Everything Doesn't Happen For A Reason — Tim Lawrence I emerge from this conversation dumbfounded. I've seen this a million times before, but it still gets me every time. I’m listening to a man tell a story. He tells of how she had been a mess before the accident, but that the tragedy had engendered positive changes in her life. And then he utters the words. Everything happens for a reason. That's the kind of bullshit that destroys lives. It is amazing to me that so many of these myths persist—and that is why I share actionable tools and strategies to work with your pain in my free newsletter. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Let me be crystal clear: if you've faced a tragedy and someone tells you in any way, shape or form that your tragedy was meant to be, that it happened for a reason, that it will make you a better person, or that taking responsibility for it will fix it, you have every right to remove them from your life. Grief is brutally painful. Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried. Be there.
How to Make Anxiety Work for You, Not Against You “Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness.” ~Jean Vanier I got fired from my job, my boyfriend left me, and my father died in one day. In reality, my career was going super well, I didn’t have a boyfriend, and my father was amazingly healthy, but what I did have was something I call an ultra amazing imagination, where I would make up fascinating stories about things that could happen and worry about them. I met my now BFF anxiety when I was about ten years old. I didn’t understand why she was telling me this. Rationally I knew it wasn’t true. Anxiety took the liberty of moving into my room and accompanied me through my teenage years and twenties. The more I ignored her, the more she dug her dirt-filled, jagged nails deep into my bare skin. There was nothing I could do to escape her. Besides, I had grown used to the feeling of having knots in my stomach every day and the sleepless, nightmare-filled nights. There had to be another way. These things helped immensely.
10 Signs You May Be Involved With a Sex Addict, By a Sex Addict by Brian Whitney You've been hanging out with this guy for a while and everything is great. That's what you tell people. The truth is, everything is not so great. Things he says and does don't add up. When you're together, there is often something forced, even fake, about how he relates to you. The guy may be going through a tough time. I did all 10 of the things on this list, in all of my relationships. The list is a compilation of everything I've learned about sex addiction in my own experience and treatment and from many other men in groups I've been part of. Most doctors would prescribe treatment to help your sex addict get his obsessions and compulsions under control. "The sex addict's impulse is to cover the pain of feeling damaged, whereas the opportunist's impulse is to take whatever he can get without having remorse. So what do you do if your partner is exhibiting three or more (my estimate) of these signs? But be prepared for deception. 1. 2. This is a tricky one. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Psych Pedia: The Science of Happiness: Why complaining is literally killing you. By Steven Parton, From CuriousApes.com Sometimes in life, all the experience and knowledge simmering around in that ol’ consciousness of ours combines itself in a way that suddenly causes the cerebral clockwork to click into place, and in this fluid flow of thought we find an epiphany rising to the surface. One such point for me came in my junior year at University. It changed the way I viewed the world forever as it catapulted me out of the last of my angsty, melancholic youth and onto a path of ever-increasing bliss. Sounds like I’m verging on feeding you some new-agey, mumbo-jumbo, doesn’t it? Well, bear with me, because I assure you the point here is to add some logical evidence to the ol’ cliches, to give you what I would consider my Science of Happiness. At the time of this personal discovery, I was pursuing a double-major in Computer Science and Psychology. 1. Your thoughts reshape your brain, and thus are changing a physical construct of reality. 2. 3. 4. But it’s not bullshit. 5.
A Non-Conformist's Guide to Success in a Conformist World, Bryan Caplan I've been a non-conformist for as long as I can remember. "All the other kids love sports" never seemed like a good reason why I should feel - or pretend to feel - the same way. "None of the other adults are wearing shorts and flip-flops" never seemed like a good reason why I should make myself uncomfortable. It wasn't mere elitism on my part. "All the other Princeton economists take general equilibrium models seriously" was no more compelling to me than "All the other teens want their own car." Non-conformism at my intensity rarely allows real-world success. Some of it's luck - especially the luck of being in the right place at the right time to meet the right people. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16.
The McMindfulness Craze: The Shadow Side of the Mindfulness Revolution (Image: Jared Rodriguez / Truthout) In case we had any doubt after watching Anderson Cooper on "60 Minutes," mindfulness is the new yoga - and we are in the midst of a mindfulness revolution. It's been embraced by celebrities, business leaders, politicians and athletes; and recommended by doctors, clergy, psychotherapists and prison wardens. Apps and bestselling books touting the benefits of meditation proliferate. Google "mindfulness" and you'll get over 24 million hits. It's not surprising that with unbridled enthusiasm about mindfulness come exaggerated claims and problems that are eclipsed. Backlash was inevitable. Buddhists have also pushed back, arguing that the mindfulness vogue has divorced meditation from its grounding in traditional Buddhist teachings. But focusing on these problems with the McMindfulness craze obscures a more profound one - meditation neglects meaning. I'm both a psychoanalyst and a long-time student - and now a teacher - of meditation.
5 Tips For Empaths To Prevent Anxiety And Depression By Amateo Ra| Empaths have now been scientifically proven to be more prone to anxiety, especially social anxiety, as well as depression. To be an Empath means you have the intuitive ability to interpret other’s emotions. However, while interpreting these others emotions, it’s very easy to take them on and let them affect you negatively. Soon, anxiety and depression set in, and life gets way harder than it needs to be. Here’s how to prevent that vicious cycle. Being Empathic means you have a very powerful gift, the ability to feel what other people feel and use that emotion for good. All gifts that we possess as humans come with great responsibility. So, what’s your responsibility? Since we were children most of us were told to stop crying, be quiet, sit still and shut-up. While everyone needs to express their Emotions, Empaths have a much greater responsibility than others? I was once told that the majority of people have a backlog of unintegrated emotions and life experiences.
This Stunning Photo Series Nails What It Feels Like To Have An Anxiety Disorder It can be difficult to verbalize what it's like to experience mental illness, so photographer Katie Crawford decided to show people instead of tell them. In a stunning self-portrait series titled "My Anxious Heart," Crawford captures how it feels to suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and depression -- two conditions she has personally dealt with since she was a child. "I created the project as a way for me to personally express what I feel like in my experience. I know it may not be specific to each person, but I hope that it creates the opportunity to open a dialogue between those who suffer from it and those who have never understood it," Crawford told The Huffington Post in an email. "I want the photographs and their paired writings to begin to express the constant, overwhelming presence of anxiety. "A captive of my own mind. "I want people that suffer from [anxiety] to be able to use these images as a reference if they need it," she said. "A glass of water isn’t heavy. Close
Myers Briggs: Cat Edition All 16 Myers-Briggs Types, if they were furballs. We brought together the internet’s two favorite pastimes: MBTI and Cats. Behold, Myers Briggs: Cat Edition. “Excuse me, why have you disturbed me sir?” “Nope.” “World Domination: Initiated.” “I heard there was a party! “My kitty. “Excuse me human. “Mwahahahaha!” “Hi, umm… Oh.. “Pet me. “Parkour Cat.” “Don’t screw with me.” “There you go. “Don’t you worry about those other kitties. “No. “You will obey me.” If you like these… feel free to share ‘em!
What it means to "hold space" for people, plus eight tips on how to do it well - Heather Plett When my mom was dying, my siblings and I gathered to be with her in her final days. None of us knew anything about supporting someone in her transition out of this life into the next, but we were pretty sure we wanted to keep her at home, so we did. While we supported mom, we were, in turn, supported by a gifted palliative care nurse, Ann, who came every few days to care for mom and to talk to us about what we could expect in the coming days. She taught us how to inject Mom with morphine when she became restless, she offered to do the difficult tasks (like giving Mom a bath), and she gave us only as much information as we needed about what to do with Mom’s body after her spirit had passed. “Take your time,” she said. “You don’t need to call the funeral home until you’re ready. Ann gave us an incredible gift in those final days. In the two years since then, I’ve often thought about Ann and the important role she played in our lives. What does it mean to hold space for someone else?