Stewart Lee on Political Correctness. Lolcat. A typical lolcat A lolcat (pronounced /ˈlɒlkæt/ LOL-kat) is an image combining a photograph of a cat with text intended to contribute humour. The text is often idiosyncratic and grammatically incorrect, and its use in this way is known as "lolspeak" or "kitty pidgin". History[edit] As early as the 1870s, British portrait photographer Harry Pointer created a carte de visite series featuring cats posed in various situations. To these he usually added amusing text intended to further enhance their appeal.[5] Other notable early figures include Harry Whittier Frees and (using mounted animals) Walter Potter.[6] Format[edit] A lolcat image using the "I'm in ur...
" format Common themes include jokes of the form "Im in ur [noun], [verb]-ing ur [related noun] Offshoots and parodies[edit] Variations on the lolcat concept include captioning photos of other animals in a similar style (e.g. loldogs for dogs, etc.). Ceiling Cat and Basement Cat[edit] "Ceiling Cat" is a character spawned by the meme. Tupac in Kazakhstan. Afrikan Boy - One day I went to Lidl. Uhm.... - Swampland. Jon Stewart Tackles the News of the World Scandal. Stewart Lee's insider's take on William and Kate | Stage. The selection of Kate Middleton, a lowly commoner drawn from the very dregs of society, as Prince William's bride has been the subject of great speculation, much of it thinly veiled snobbery. But Britain is broken. Social mobility is at a historic low, state education and public healthcare are in crisis, and our own prime minister has blamed the truculent immigrant and his concealed wife for our lack of national cohesion.
Once upon a time, royal marriages were political acts that forged links between different nations. Instead, William and Kate's wedding will bind this nation to itself, and in marrying so very far beneath himself, I believe the young prince has made a heroic and deliberate sacrifice to achieve this end. Pause for a moment. Jessie L Weston's 1920 study of Holy Grail mythology, From Ritual to Romance, pictures Britain as a wasteland, an image appropriated by TS Eliot to describe the aftermath of the first world war.
Kate was educated at Marlborough College in Wiltshire. Graun.jpg (JPEG Image, 1023×590 pixels) Red Eye - Abstract City Blog. Ms. BLARRFENGAR! The rating agencies downgrade . . . the rating agencies. In Pictures: Would BP's CEO Have Been Executed In China? - Day 10 - Forbes.com. The Girl Who Fixed the Umlaut. There was a tap at the door at five in the morning. She woke up. Shit. Now what? She’d fallen asleep with her Palm Tungsten T3 in her hand. “I know you’re home,” he said. Kalle fucking Blomkvist. She tried to remember whether she was speaking to him or not. Salander opened the door a crack and spent several paragraphs trying to decide whether to let Blomkvist in. “Please,” he said. He was cradling an iBook in his arms. “I can’t really go on without an umlaut,” he said.
But where in Sweden were they? “I need my umlaut,” Blomkvist said. It was a compelling argument. She opened the door. He handed her the computer and went to make coffee on her Jura Impressa X7. She tried to get the umlaut to work. <Where are you? She went to the bathroom and got a Q-tip and gently cleaned the area around the Alt key. Finally, she spoke. “It’s fixed,” she said. “Thanks,” he said. She thought about smiling, but she’d smiled three hundred pages earlier, and once was enough. Obama's Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde | The Onion - America's Finest News Source. WASHINGTON—Hailed as a sign of renewed government transparency when they began airing last year, President Barack Obama's weekly video addresses have grown increasingly experimental in recent weeks, raising eyebrows nationwide.
Videos like the one that aired Tuesday morning, which begins with Obama outlining his new plan to provide healthier school lunches to the nation's children, but soon devolves into frantic editing, unsettling imagery, and dissonant audio effects, have left many wondering about the president's ultimate message. "I found the whole thing a bit confusing," said New York resident Abe Klein, who added that he has watched Obama's videos transform over time from informative to aesthetically challenging to just plain bizarre. "I don't know if I was supposed to come away thinking that childhood obesity is our nation's next major health crisis, or if Obama wanted us to take the jarring black-and-white footage of a rooster getting its head chopped off literally.
" Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea | The Onion - America's Finest News Source | Onion News Network. Parlez vous any other language at all? - Times Online. Gordon Brown bows out behind a better class of door | Politics. Sullen British Staggering To Voting Pubs Right Now. The Common People. We all feel like that now and then. At the height of World War II on April 6th, 1943, British Ambassador to Moscow, Sir Archibald Clark Kerr, wrote a letter to Foreign Office minister Lord Reginald Pembroke in an effort to simply brighten up his day, which has since become a classic piece of correspondence for reasons that will soon become obvious.
The letter is indeed hilarious, and proof, if it were needed, that name-based punnery and mild xenophobia did a roaring trade long before the Internet was fired up. Thanks to Christopher Dawkins for the tip. Transcript H.M. EMBASSY MOSCOWLord Pembroke The Foreign Office London6th April 1943My Dear Reggie,In these dark days man tends to look for little shafts of light that spill from Heaven. PIXELS by PATRICK JEAN. - une vidéo Art et Création. Google Responds To Privacy Concerns With Unsettlingly Specific Apology | The Onion - America's Finest News Source. MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Responding to recent public outcries over its handling of private data, search giant Google offered a wide-ranging and eerily well-informed apology to its millions of users Monday. "We would like to extend our deepest apologies to each and every one of you," announced CEO Eric Schmidt, speaking from the company's Googleplex headquarters.
"Clearly there have been some privacy concerns as of late, and judging by some of the search terms we've seen, along with the tens of thousands of personal e-mail exchanges and Google Chat conversations we've carefully examined, it looks as though it might be a while before we regain your trust. " Google expressed regret to some of its third-generation Irish-American users on Smithwood between Barlow and Lake. Schmidt's apology appeared suddenly at 9 a.m. Monday's apology comes after the controversial launch of Google Buzz, a social networking platform that publicly linked Gmail users to their most e-mailed contacts by default. U.S. Economy Grinds To Halt As Nation Realizes Money Just A Symbolic, Mutually Shared Illusion | The Onion - America's Finest News Source. WASHINGTON—The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct.
Calling it "basically no more than five rectangular strips of paper," Fed chairman Ben Bernanke illustrates how much "$200" is actually worth. What began as a routine report before the Senate Finance Committee Tuesday ended with Bernanke passionately disavowing the entire concept of currency, and negating in an instant the very foundation of the world's largest economy. "Though raising interest rates is unlikely at the moment, the Fed will of course act appropriately if we…if we…" said Bernanke, who then paused for a moment, looked down at his prepared statement, and shook his head in utter disbelief.
"You know what? "It's just an illusion," a wide-eyed Bernanke added as he removed bills from his wallet and slowly spread them out before him. How to Survive a 35,000-Foot Fall - Plane Crash Survival Guide. 35,000 Feet You have a late night and an early flight. Not long after takeoff, you drift to sleep. Suddenly, you’re wide awake. There’s cold air rushing everywhere, and sound. Intense, horrible sound. Where am I? , you think. You’re 6 miles up. Things are bad. Or at least you will be. Granted, the odds of surviving a 6-mile plummet are extraordinarily slim, but at this point you’ve got nothing to lose by understanding your situation. Surviving a plunge surrounded by a semiprotective cocoon of debris is more common than surviving a pure free-fall, according to Hamilton’s statistics; 31 such confirmed or “plausible” incidents have occurred since the 1940s. Whether you’re attached to crumpled fuselage or just plain falling, the concept you’ll be most interested in is terminal velocity. 22,000 Feet By now, you’ve descended into breathable air.
Keeping your wits about you, you take aim. But at what? With a target in mind, the next consideration is body position. 1000 Feet 7:02:25 am 0 Feet. Saturday Night Live - Barack Obama & Chinese President Hu Jintao. Oil: enough energy to melt glaciers! How do you solve a problem like Ikea? | Salon Life. Not long ago I moved to Toronto, and during a recent dinner with a friend and his wife, the subject of my sleeping arrangements came up. By “sleeping arrangements,” I mean the air mattress on the floor of my new shoebox apartment. “Go to Ikea,” said my friend. “Oh, Ikea,” said his wife, clapping her hands. “You must. Must.” Evidently their guest-room bed, in which I’d once slept, was purchased there. “So cheap,” my friend’s wife said. “We paid almost nothing for it,” my friend confirmed. Further investigation revealed this bed, the Javnaker, was the cheapest mattress set Ikea sells. Nonetheless, purchasing anything for almost nothing was appealing.
But my air mattress leaked. As my cheeks ballooned up with stale plastic air, I’d think: You’re 34, Craig. I’d been to Ikea only once before, as a child with my family. The blue-and-yellow monolith had risen out of a former farmer’s field on the south side of Ottawa. “Eye-ka?” “Eye-key-a,” my mother corrected him. We attended the grand opening. Glum Councillors. "Pepsi brings yours ancestors back from the grave." - Gordon White's Posterous. Words of Wisdom from Steven Seagal -- AMAZING! A Global Warning Poem. Clear American Sky A Constant Reminder Of Industrial Inferiority | The Onion - America's Finest News Source. Pandas on a slide. The Thick of It - Tucker's Law. Nietzster.com. About jon ronson | jonronson.com. Bored Predator Drone Pumps A Few Rounds Into Mountain Goat | The Onion - America's Finest News Source.
Underfunded Scientists Force Lipstick-Covered Rat With Cancer To Run Through Maze | The Onion - America's Finest News Source. SONOMA, CA—Scientists at the severely underfunded HLM Research Laboratories announced plans Monday to have the facility's one remaining rat, Mendel, now cancer-ridden and covered in lipstick, run through a maze several hundred times. Head researcher Dr. Linda Cho said that since the lab's $5.6 million budget was slashed by 90 percent last winter, Mendel, a blind 1-year-old albino Norwegian rat with advanced non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, has served as the subject for every experiment the lab has performed. "The first few data sets were rendered null by Mendel's widely varying maze-completion times, which ranged from three seconds to two hours and 45 minutes," Cho said.
"We think the confounding variable may have been the 5 cc injection of oven cleaner, a substance with the potential to interact with the residual methamphetamine-cocaine concoction still in his system. " "Although he seems to have reached equilibrium, in a manner of speaking," Cho continued. Paul Waugh | Blogs | Evening Standard - Mental Health Break - Watch Diane Abbott slurping.
Barack Obama's Facebook news feed. - By Christopher Beam and Chris Wilson. Powered by Livefyre Slate Sign In Sign Up Search Business Insider A Map of the Most Underrated College in Each State The Most Famous Desktop Wallpaper Ever Is a Real, Unaltered Photo Stephen Colbert Is the Best Thing to Ever Happen to Science on TV Heartbleed Should Motivate You to Get a Password Manager Watch Jon Stewart Congratulate Stephen Colbert on His New Gig Movies The Greatest Mother in Movie History Of Course the NSA Knew About Heartbleed Two Years Ago and Did Nothing No, She’s Not Really Wearing That.
Let the #ShowerBeer Instagram Feed Wash Over You The Obvious Thing to Eat After You've Walked on the Moon (Video) The World Italy Asks for Help in Dealing With “Biblical Exodus” of Migrants There Is One More Thing Kathleen Sebelius Can Do for Barack Obama It Could Take More Than Three Decades for Syria’s Economy to Recover The Disappearing Public Outrage Over Political Corruption How to Make Bananas Foster Better Than the New Orleans Original Future Tense Outward The Awful Emptiness of "Relatable"
Christ Kills Two, Injures Seven In Abortion-Clinic Attack | The Onion - America's Finest News Source. HUNTSVILLE, AL–Jesus Christ, son of God and noted pro-life activist, killed two and critically wounded seven others when He opened fire in the waiting room of a Huntsville abortion clinic Tuesday. A U.S. Marshal leads Christ to a holding cell. Inset: One of the injured is loaded into an ambulance. Security guards at the Women's Medical Clinic of Huntsville were able to disarm the Messiah before He could reload His weapon, a secondhand Glock 9mm pistol that authorities said He purchased legally at a Jackson, MS, sporting-goods store. "He walked up to the admissions desk and asked if He could see Dr.
"It was horrible," said injured clinic nurse Jessica Combs, recovering at a local hospital with bullet wounds to the leg and abdomen. Speaking to reporters from His holding cell, Christ, 33, said He had "no regrets" about what He had done. "As I said in John 16:21, every life is precious," Christ said. Added Christ: "What if the Virgin Mary had decided to abort me? Burger King's climate change whopper | Environment. Would you like a side order of climate denial with your flame-broiled Triple Whopper? If so, then you need to get yourself over to Tennessee where a number of Burger King franchises in the US state that gave us Al Gore have been displaying "Global Warming is Baloney" signs outside their fast-food restaurants. Chris Davis, a staff writer for the Memphis Flyer, a local newsweekly, noticed the signs outside two Burger Kings in the city last week and decided to put in a call to one of the restaurants to inquire whether such a view was now official Burger King policy.
Here's his transcript of the call… Davis: Hi, I'm calling from the Flyer about your sign. Does Burger King really think global warming is baloney? BK: [Hang-up]Davis: [Calling back]: Your sign out front says global warming is baloney.BK: I don't see that, sir.Davis: Well, it does.BK: I don't see that sir... A few days pass before Davis hears back from someone higher up the food chain at Burger King. 100 days of Barack Obama's Facebook news feed. - By Christopher Beam and Chris Wilson. Marc Roberts - Industry climate denial.