Poly Momma. We Sleep Together. The PolyOldFart. The Errant Wife. On Loving More... My thoughts, feelings and opinions. Journals of a Polyamorous Triad. Secondary Trouble in Poly/Mono Land. Recently someone wrote to an e-mail group I'm on describing a difficult relationship situation she's in.
She has a poly partner whose wife is monogamous. She believed the wife to be consenting, but it turns out that her relationship with the husband is creating drama in an already rocky marital relationship. To make matters worse, it's an LDR (long distance relationship.) I felt a lot of sympathy reading her story. It's very difficult being involved with someone who's married and whose marriage isn't in good shape.
From what I heard in her story, there were two primary issues - (1) the dysfunction in her poly partner's marriage, and (2) her partner's wife's tendency to try to control the husband's secondary relationship. Obviously the girlfriend is limited in what she can do about how the husband and wife relate to each other other than offer support and encouragement without taking sides (more on that below). Polyamory Commitment Page. Commitments by Heather NicollThe Darkhawk Why do I want to get married, since I cannot legally grant that same public status to my other love?
This is... a long and complicated situation, I suppose, but I'll give it a whirl to see how well my mind can spew random answers. (Most of my reasoning is not tangible; specifically the important parts. So I'll give the small reasons first and see if I can hit the real reasons on the forward swing.) All of the standard legalistic reasons -- health, taxes, etc. I imagine that I will wind up drafting some very strange collection of legal documents with respect to my status such as health care proxies and trust documents to make certain aspects of the emotional relationship legally present. A minor thing to be noted is that I do intend to have children, though not at any point in the near future.
Polyamory Thoughts. Polyamory - enlightened lovers or sluts in denial? The Journal Of The InnKeeper. I'm in love with a man who is pathologically poly.
He has to have new sex partners constantly, and as soon as the NRE wears off, he gets bored with the new puppies & kicks them to the curb. I've come to resent the new playthings deeply and I want to warn them all away. I want to explain to them that I've been there, that I remember falling for this man who makes you his intense focus, for a while, and that's deeply romantic and and addicting. But after the shiny wears off, he'll lose interest in the fluffy new puppy and she'll be the old dog chained in the backyard with the rest of us, watching her master go off and play with the next new puppy. Those of us who have stuck around hate the new ones and barely tolerate each other.
This is a paraphrase of something I've heard many times over the years. A lot of people take the tactic of sympathizing with the poster, saying that the guy sounds like a royal asshat & she should get out while she can. To me, NRE is kind of like being drunk. The Dynamics of Lilith and Xenith. Top 35 Blogs in: polyamory - NetworkedBlogs.com. Polyamory Girl. Miss Poly Manners. Etiquette: [noun] the code of polite behaviour in a society.
There are a lot of assumptions and implicit expectations about how people should behave in society, but, do the rules change in the polyamorous community? If so, how? Miss Poly Manners will look at a variety of situations and give advice and suggestions about how to navigate through the codes of polite behaviour in the poly community. Miss Poly Manners deals with situations involving polyamory, responsible non-monogamy, open-relationships, open marriages, and even social etiquette for mixed company (polyamorous and monogamous people socializing together!)
Miss Poly Manners can be heard on the Poly Weekly Podcast, giving advice and suggestions about poly etiquette. Have a question about poly etiquette? Prefer to read Miss Poly Manners as a column? Now, you can even call Miss Poly Manners! Franklin Veaux's Journal. #5 / 6 Polyamory Weekly.