7 Reasons Vladimir Putin Is the World's Craziest Badass. Vladimir Putin is what happens when James Bond gets one of his villains pregnant and the child grows up to kick both their asses. An ex-secret agent now in charge of the entire Eastern Bloc, he's the good and bad guys combined so that the morality cancels out and you're left with the best part of a Hollywood movie: pure, unadulterated ass kicking. Source: Getty Images. 6 Military Units Whose Training Would Traumatize Rambo.
If you haven't guessed by their names, special operations forces are all about finding men who can perform wartime tasks above and beyond those performed by the average soldier.
6 Mind-Blowing Ways Zombies and Vampires Explain America. Here's the weirdest graph you'll see all week.
It's graphing the popularity of zombie movies versus vampire movies, split out by whether the president at the time was a Republican or a Democrat. There are exceptions, but in general when a Republican is in office, it's all about zombies. When it's a Democrat, it's all about vampires: Via mrscienceshowAnd apparently all our apocalypses started with Eisenhower. Night of the Living Dead shambled into cinemas during the Nixon era. Actually, it makes perfect sense. . #6. 5 Major Cities That Are Going to Be Destroyed.
If you turn on the news and hear that some city is being devastated by its fourth flood in 20 years, or that a village at the foot of some volcano has just been buried under lava, there is a 100 percent chance that someone in the room will ask, Why don't those people just move?
It's a good question, and the answer gives us a nice insight into mankind's absolute refusal to back down from nature, even if it means certain destruction. 8 Things You Won't Believe Can Be Hacked. If movies are to be believed, hackers are mostly kept busy fighting the man with CGI animations of smiley faces, or else dwelling in the darkest corners of their mothers' basements and doing purely nerdy stuff that never affects the real world.
But neither assumption is true: Hacking does not look like a rad skateboarder busting a kickflip over an onyx tower, and hackers do gain access to things that can affect your daily life ... and sometimes, even end it. #8. Explode Your Genitals We think we have a pretty good idea of what hackers are capable of: stealing your personal information, crashing your computer, Rollerblading like a sonofabitch and making out with Angelina Jolie (back when she was hot, before her alien DNA kicked in and she started looking like a hawk-monster). But today's hackers have finally crossed a line, and must be terminated with extreme prejudice. 5 Things That Are Way Easier Than They Look in Movies. When we debunk movie myths, it's usually bad news for lazy people.
We've found that movies often undersell the difficulty of activities like saving lives, fighting crime, seducing women and even shooting people. And I've verified through independent research that doing all four at once is not a realistic career goal. 6 Global Warming Side Effects That Are Sort Of Awesome. The way things are going, we can expect global warming to wipe out humanity in the next few years.
The 6 Most Bizarre Global Warming Side Effects. All right, it appears the world has moved past the "is global warming happening" stage and has now moved onto, "how screwed are we?
" But what is interesting is just how wide-ranging the effects will be, far beyond the normal "it will get really hot" and "the hippies will be really smug" we all have been expecting. Here are some of the effects you probably never saw coming... For most of us, the best part of our day is spending time with loved ones. For the rest, it's drowning reality in a pool of sweet, brain-clouding liquors. Unfortunately, reality doesn't want to be drowned and global warming is looking to make it harder to accomplish that goal in the future, as it's predicted higher temperatures are going to lead to either outright shortages, or at least pricier, lower quality booze. 5 Ways Your Brain Is Messing With Your Head. We accept on a regular basis the premise that our minds are being screwed with.
Advertisers, politicians, magicians; we accept that they know the tricks to pull the wool over our eyes. But as it turns out, the ways in which your head is being truly and royally messed with the most, are coming from inside. Please be advised that your brain does not want you reading the following list, and may kill you to protect its secrets. These include... The 5 Most Widely Believed WWII Facts (That Are Bullshit)
Hitler Was an Evil Genius Claimed By: The [Alternate] History Channel , Nazi admirers, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.
Hitler, in addition to being the go-to example in every bad debate, has sort of become history's supervillain. 6 Animals That Kill Nature's Scariest Creatures For Fun. We have made it our mission to celebrate the underrated badasses of the animal kingdom because in general, Hollywood has taught us to be afraid of the wrong creatures.
For instance, for every animal you'd be terrified to run across in the wild, the odds are there is at least one other beast who sees it as a tasty snack. The 5 Most Widely Believed WWII Facts (That Are Bullshit) They say history is written by the winners, but the truth is even stranger than that. In reality history is often written by popular opinion, or wishful thinking, or crass politics. That's why so much of what we hear about an event like World War II--whether from textbooks, movies or something you overheard a smart-sounding guy say--is just plain bullshit. #5.
America Won the War Single-Handedly. The 6 Most Frequently Quoted Brain Facts (That Are Total BS) After millennia of research, experts still don't know very much about the human brain. As such, most of what you have picked up on the subject from pop culture is just laughably wrong. In fact, we'll bet you even heard some or all of these brain myths in school at some point ... #6.
"Alcohol Kills Brain Cells! " The 5 Most Depraved Sex Scenes Implied by 'Harry Potter' The Harry Potter series has sold billions of dollars worth of books, movie tickets and DVDs because it's one of those rare series that children can enjoy but won't make adults want to gouge out their eyes. Author J.K. Rowling had a way of throwing a bone to the grown-ups here and there by slipping in sly little adult references along the way. 8 Ways Suburban Apathy Got Me Through Irene: A Hero's Story. Like millions of people living on the East Coast, I was recently confronted with the full force of nature's fury: Hurricane Irene. Fortunately, my 30-plus years of living in the suburbs, multiple educational degrees and countless pairs of khakis had prepared me for this natural disaster.
So, yes, I came out unscathed, but only by undertaking a series of perfectly executed steps to safeguard my survival. I reprint them here --not as a helpful survival guide because mere mortals could never apply these techniques successfully-- but more as a tale of inspiration like that I Shouldn't Be Alive show on the Discovery Channel. So on Wednesday --about four days before Hurricane Irene hit -- I began hearing warnings. News commentators threw around words like "Category 3 hurricane," "flooding" and "natural disaster. " 7 Creepy Video Game Easter Eggs You'll Wish Were Never Found. 6 Adorable Cat Behaviors With Shockingly Evil Explanations. 6 Shockingly Evil Things Babies Are Capable Of. The 5 Most Horrible Things Nobody Tells You About Babies.
Hollywood comedies about parenthood depend entirely on making raising a kid look a ridiculous, hectic mess. Then, eventually the leading man finds out that in the end, the rewards make it all worth it. That's mostly because for whatever reason, baby murder is still taboo in modern Hollywood comedies. 6 Beneficial Things They Made You Stop Doing in School. It's easy to think of a classroom as a battle of wills between kids who want to dick around all day and teachers who actually want to make them learn. 7 Reasons Computer Glitches Won't Go Away (Ever) People have been complaining about computer glitches since the punch card days.
6 Reasons The Guy Who's Fixing Your Computer Hates You. By my calculations, about 96 percent of all computer repairs are done, not by the local computer guy or the Geek Squad, but by The Friend Who is Good With Computers. Often that friend is nothing more than an average computer user who knows how to look up error messages on Google, but it doesn't matter -- once they become known as TFWIGWC, they will get the call every time something goes wrong.
6 Shockingly Affordable Sci-Fi Inventions. As we here at Cracked are fond of pointing out, technological advancements are causing real life and science fiction to overlap in increasingly interesting ways. 5 Insane New Uses for Old School Military Weapons. Having a war is a little like having a baby; it requires massive stockpiles of all the best tools, toys and clothes to ensure the greatest chance of success, all the while knowing that the kid will outgrow everything within a year. War outpaces its own technology constantly and while the parents of a child can just carry the clothes and cribs to Goodwill after its all over, war leaves heaps of deadly equipment and weapons littered all over the world.