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The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude. "She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

How You Can Spot A Republican: A Joke

http://bestoftheblogs.com/Home/30575
One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather. The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox sneaked up behind her and caught her. "I am going to eat you for lunch!"

rabbits-thesis.htm from ncl.ac.uk

http://lorien.ncl.ac.uk/ming/Dept/Fun/jokes/rabbits-thesis.htm
Cookies by Douglas Adams (author: "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy") This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. http://www.woltermanns.com/misc/cookies_Adams.htm

Cookies by Douglas Adams - StumbleUpon