I'm Definitely Not Dead. I woke up really early on Wednesday morning for no reason.
In retrospect, I can see it was probably my body's way of telling me that I might die later that day, so I better get the hell up and start enjoying the shit out of life. My life that morning was not particularly enjoyable. I felt like my internal organs had been punched by someone who is really enthusiastic about punching and therefore punches a lot. In fact, they love punching so much that when they finished punching my internal organs, they moved on to punching my skin and all my muscles and also my eyes. I don't own an accurate thermometer, but I once calibrated the thermometer I own using an accurate thermometer. The thermometer read 102.3, so by my calculations, I was running a fever of about 103.5.
I eventually gave up on trying to be responsible and just sat on the couch staring off into space really intensely. That evening, my friend called to ask me if I'd like to meet her and another friend for drinks. The harsh realities of adulthood. IRL Pokemon: HM Cut Has Its Drawbacks. I Raff I Ruse. The OSTRICH Story. A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours? " "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke. " The ostrich says, "I'll have the same. " Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual asks the waitress? " "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62. " Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time? " found an old lamp. Me two wishes. Would always be there. " Rusty Innards.
No sir, Chrysocyon brachyurus, the Maned Wolf, isn’t any of those..It’s a creature unto itself, the only member of it’s Genus.
The maned wolf (pardon the confusing misnomer..as I said before, it’s technically not a wolf) is South America’s largest canid, and one of my favorite canids, due in part to it’s very un-canid-like behaviors. It’s a solitary hunter; it doesn’t form packs, and lives a loner lifestyle, wandering the savannas of South America on it’s stilt-like legs in search of food and, in the off chance it comes across another Maned Wolf, a mate. To make it even more un-canid-like, the Maned Wolf’s diet is made up of nearly 50% vegetable matter..It’s rather integral to it’s ecosystem, not as a top predator, but as an important distributor of seeds from the plants it eats.