The Creepy Scientific Explanation Behind Ghost Sightings. Right away, you should know that it is the official position of Cracked.com and its parent company that we don't believe in bullshit. It's fun to think about bizarre unsolved myseries and wonder what's actually going on with the whole UFO thing, but we'll always defer to Occam's razor. A blur on a photograph is way more likely to be a weather balloon than a spaceship and a ghostly old woman wandering around an old church is far more likely to be a hallucination or, you know, an actual confused old woman. There's a fine line between kooky and spectral. It says nothing about our belief in an afterlife or lack thereof.
There is simply no evidence that dead people wander aimlessly around old houses, and no known scientific principle that would make it possible. But a lot of people have seen ghosts. It appears that science has stumbled across the reason for it. Mole people? In order to understand the science we need to head back to the late 1950's. Above: the cause of all human suffering. 5 Terrifying Things Found in the Last Place You'd Expect. If life were perfect, the terrifying things of the world would live in their own remote part of the planet so the rest of us could avoid them entirely. But life isn't perfect, and sometimes horror seems to just materialize out of nowhere. Unfortunately, when that happens, it's usually in the last place you'd ever want or expect to have something pants-soilingly awful to contend with.
For example ... #5. Bedbugs in Library Books Bedbugs have been big news over the past couple of years. However, most of the horror stories we've heard concerning these bloodthirsty nightmares have come in the form of travelers picking up a batch at some sleazy Third World motel (like the Ritz-Carlton in New York, for example) and inadvertently bringing the infestation home with them. Getty"Bedbugs are so last year. But help may be on the way in the form of your Eastwoodian refusal to cash in your library card for an Amazon account and an e-reader.
. #4. Getty"Seriously, it's the best thing ever. . #3. The 6 Stupidest Things You Can Pay People to Do for You. In awful economic times like these, it's important that we still set a little cash aside to waste on completely superfluous bullshit. After all, there are people out there whose continued ability to pay their bills depends on our willingness to part with our hard-earned money on frivolous nonsense. Don't believe us? Check out these ridiculous companies that, for just a little bit of that paycheck you work so very hard for, will perform worthless tasks on your behalf. Such as ... #6. Getty Having trouble landing a woman at the bar? In Boston, you can hire sexy women from Hire A Boston WingWoman to go out with you to the bars to help you pick up other sexy women. . #5. The worst part of having dogs is that they require intervention on your part if they're expected to not just use the bathroom all over everything you own.
For only $15 a week per dog, uniformed men will come over to your house at any time you want to pick up your dog's crap. . #4. . #3. BuyMyFace.com #2. . #1. Barcelonatoytravel.com. The 6 Most Shameful DIY Sex Toys on the Internet. 5 Ways Your Brain Tricks You into Sticking With Bad Habits. Bad habits can ruin your life. Whether you're gorging on Haagen-Dazs or dressing up like a Power Ranger and flaying hobos every night, you know on some level that things have to change, or disaster will follow. But no matter how badly you want your life to be different, things just keep plowing on the way they are. Why? Because your brain has a long list of diabolical mechanisms intended to keep your habits exactly as they are. #5. Getty You knew you had to be up at 7 a.m. for a big exam. Getty"Can't miss the rest of this movie.
Well, don't feel so bad. Brain scans have shown that different parts of our brain light up when we're thinking of ourselves versus when we're thinking of other people. Getty"Future Bill can worry about AIDS tests. In other words, if someone asks you to think about what you'll look like in 20 years, your brain treats it as though you're trying to picture some bizarre stranger. . #4. Getty"OhmygodthatwassodeliciousandcrispyandfluffyokImgonnagorunbebackinaminute! " #3. The 5 Most Pointless Abilities People Love to Brag About.
In Holland there is a man who can regulate his body temperature just by thinking about it; in England there's a guy who can solve any mathematical equation in his head, as well as learn new languages in a week; and from my normal standing position, I can jump really, really high. The point is, there are legitimate superpowers in the world, and a few of us are lucky enough to enjoy them for no reason other than genetic providence.
Are we the future of humanity? Are we destined for something greater than the rest of you? No one knows for sure. But probably yes. And yet, for every person with an extraordinary gift, there are whole knots of normal people mistaking their asinine quirks for inherent abilities. "Jesus, Kevin. These people can't survive in ice water, or learn the subjunctive tense in 20 minutes, and they certainly can't jump onto really high stuff, like a dresser or something, if the floor suddenly turned to lava. . #5. "Honey? #4. "Nice fur coat, pussy. " #3. The 5 Most Terrifying Supreme Court Decisions. In the United States, the Supreme Court has final say over whether any law is constitutional. So in a way it's the final barrier that prevents any legislators from getting too crazy or racist in the laws they pass.
But the Supreme Court itself is not made up of gods or wizards. They are just people, with agendas. And sometimes they have rendered opinions that make you wonder if the whole legal system isn't just full of crazy people from the top down. For instance, the court has ruled ... #5. Getty Home ownership is truly a dream for many of us. You probably already know that there is such thing as eminent domain -- the Fifth Amendment of the U.S.
Getty"The owners told us to go Pfuck ourselves. " The highest court in the land sided with New London, because money makes you nod your head at inappropriate times. GettySometimes the greater good smells like rotting cabbage and coffee grounds. #4. "I shall call him ... WikiThat's actually the last sentence in Burger's written opinion. #3. The 8 Creepiest Cases of Identity Theft of All Time. Identity theft is one of the most widely committed crimes in the world, affecting millions of people a year in varying degrees of severity, ranging from a few unwanted pizzas on your credit card bill to landing on an international watch list for political assassins. Sometimes the crimes are so elaborate and the consequences are so strange and unpredictable that it almost makes us want to cancel all our credit cards, forfeit all our licenses and live in a hole in the earth with pillowcases full of cash, surviving entirely on boiled tree roots and stale urine. #8.
Brittany Ossenfort Gets Arrested Getty Living with a roommate is almost always tough. But Brittany Ossenfort thought she was past all that, and with good reason. Via Quizlaw.comHow soon the lessons of Single White Female are forgotten. That all changed when Brittany Ossenfort got a call at work asking her to bail Brittany Ossenfort out of jail. Via Kansascity.comRichard. Getty"My name? #7. Getty"People with babies can't lie. . #6. The 6 Cruelest Science Experiments Ever (Were Done on Kids) Sometimes science has to be ruthless. If curing cancer means dropping a dozen frightened children into the jungle for some reason, then by God that's what you do. And if you aren't curing cancer, but are just curious about what children look like when abandoned in a jungle, well, you still do it.
Why? Because science. Think we're joking? Hold on to your butts, because all of the following experiments really happened. #6. Getty In the summer of 1954, social psychologist Muzafer Sherif wanted to see if two groups stuck in the wild would learn to hate each other. Thus kicked off his Robbers Cave experiment, in which a group of 11 ordinary, middle-class 11-year-old boys headed to summer camp at Robbers Cave State Park in Oklahoma, anxious for three fun-filled weeks of hiking, fishing and swimming.
The Situationist"In retrospect, providing the camp chapel with a full-sized crucifix was tragically misguided. " It took less than three weeks. Getty"I HAVE THE CONCH! " #5. . #4. 6 Ways You Can (Accidentally) Attract the Ladies. The other day the entire Cracked staff was sitting around on our lunch break when one of us realized, hey -- you, our reader, isn't having sex right now. We all agreed that was an injustice that could not stand, but what could we do?
We are but an internet comedy site. Then we realized that the answer was simple -- we should make an entire freaking web series about it. Rom.Com is the new show from the people who brought you Adventures in Jedi School (us), and Agents of Cracked (also us, but like, a long time ago ... so it doesn't seem real anymore, ya know?). Of course, filming a series takes longer than 36 hours, so while we finish this up, please enjoy this Cracked Classic, which will scientifically explain how the weirdest, most utterly random things make you more attractive.
And please take your time reading because -- and don't tell our bosses this -- we haven't actually started filming Rom.Com yet. Heh. Put your pants back on. Seriously? Put your pants back on. "Oh, hell yes. " 5 Ways Your Nerd Gadgets Are Killing You. Video games will turn our kids violent. The Internet will ruin our attention spans. Texting will ruin the art of coherent typing -- yeah, yeah, Grandpa, we get it. You're scared of technology. But what's funny is that while all of the standard warnings turn out to be alarmist garbage, our geek toys are wreaking havoc in completely unexpected, and amazingly stupid, ways. . #5. You know the guy: He's veering right toward you, head down, eyes glued to whatever amazingly compelling narrative his buddies are texting him. GettySeconds later, four people were dead. You already know that texting while driving is completely idiotic and even worse than drunk driving, but who can't handle shooting someone a quick text while simply walking down the street?
GadgetcomOne day society will learn that some folks deserve their head injuries. Meanwhile, cities like London have installed talking crosswalk signals at intersections to catch their attention. "Drowning, lol. " And yes, people are dying from this. The 6 Weirdest Things That Statistically Lower Crime. You might not have noticed this in the middle of all of the bad news that floods the daily headlines, but crime in the U.S. is at its lowest point in pretty much ... well, ever. It's been steadily falling since the early '90s. And nobody knows why. Of course, such a giant, sweeping trend doesn't have just one simple cause, but studies have shown that it might have a few shithouse-crazy ones.
So if you're feeling safer these days, science says it could be thanks to things like ... #6. Getting the Lead Out of the Environment Lead poisoning is one of those things our ancestors dealt with so thoroughly that we have trouble today realizing what a problem it was. "I shanked a kid for his Lunchables the other day. " How deeply did lead's toxicity affect society? Nevin studied the criminal histories of nine countries and found that in each case he could link significant crime drops with that country's campaign to eliminate childhood lead poisoning. GettyIf not the iPhones themselves. #5. Wikipedia. The 9 Most Unnecessary Gadgets Money Can Buy. In a world where blankets with sleeves can create millionaires, it's no wonder inventors and businessmen are locked in a race to develop the next big thing in the lucrative "They really pay money for this?
" industry. We don't hold that against them -- the entire world economy runs on that crap. What's harder to comprehend, though, is how they poker-facedly try to sell us gadgets that actually manage to complicate the task they're intended to help with. Like ... #9. Wineenthusiast AmazonOr it might be tiny underwear for your glass. Apart from the obvious fact that using this product makes you look like a particularly boozy latchkey kid, there are just so many things that can go wrong here. AmazonEver wanted to know what it's like to be pitied by career alcoholics? Even if you manage to dodge all the other pitfalls provided by the product, there's this: How the hell do you drink from this thing? #8. Leapsandbounds Everyone loves a good snowball fight. . #7. Amazon #6. Thedipr #5. Amazon. The 6 Craziest People Who Are Overpopulating the World. Millions of us are so terrified of or disinterested in having kids that we'll literally never do it.
But the world's population keeps inflating like a balloon because there are plenty of people at the opposite end of that spectrum. Way, way at the opposite end. Like ... #6. Photos.com Let's say that for reasons known only to the fertility gods, you and your spouse are unable to have children. This guy, that's what. Photos.com"You should probably just get the funnel. " The Crazy: During the '70s and '80s, hundreds of infertile women came to see Dr. Via Listzblog.com"Jabba, can I have your autograph? " It wasn't until Jacobson was accused of treating women with hormones to make them think they were pregnant (when he was really just showing them ultrasounds of their own feces) that people started to suspect there was something fishy about the doctor. Via Ranker.comThis is the evolutionary equivalent of steroid use in professional sports. #5. ... 11 different women.
But don't worry, guys. . #4. The 7 Creepiest Inventions Ever Patented For the Crotch. Some men will stick their dick in anything, and this is the only fact evolution and police blotters agree on. The penis is a combination executive toy and override switch. Most men don't actually think with their dicks, because we're not sitcom characters, but we're aware of them in the same way an oil rig manager has to be aware of the drill -- whatever else they actually want to do with their life, that's what the hardware they're using was designed for.
GettyBecause it's miles long and pounding down into the planet's deep wet spots, and possibly the only thing more phallic than a phallus. But psychopaths ran out of things to enpenis about two hundred years ago and have been inventing new ones ever since. . #7. Penis Exercise Machine (2010) Patent # US 7,828,718 B2 (PDF) Patent # US 7,828,718 B2 At first, this looks like an attempt to build a sitcom joke by giving dicks little legs to walk around on, rendering the rest of the man obsolete.
. #6. . #5. Patent # 494,436Messrs. . #4. 5 Horrifying Apocalyptic Scenarios (That Have Already Happened) It's impossible to turn on the news or go the movies without hearing about some disease or cataclysm that's about to end the world. There's a movie coming (2012) that as far as we can tell is about every apocalypse happening at once, and in the news the flavor of the week is swine flu--though so far the fatality rate has fallen rather short of, say, Popsicles.
Our apocalypse fixation ignores the fact that the things we're afraid of are old-hat. Extinction level events have happened again and again throughout history and, lo and behold, we're still here. And hell, we probably wouldn't be without number five... Everyone knows this story: For millions of years, dinosaurs roamed the earth, snacking on the odd mammal that was unfortunate enough to get in their way.
They were big, hungry and had some terrifying weaponry. As for mammals, our only saving grace was that we bred like crazy and were too small to easily kill. "Suck it, T-Rex! " The K-T rock was six-miles across. Documentary. "Sigh. The 5 Most Unsettling Disney Theme Park Easter Eggs. The 6 Creepiest Lies the Food Industry is Feeding You.