The Beginner’s Guide to Zen Habits – A Guided Tour | zen habits. By Leo Babauta I know a lot of people who fall into a slump, losing the habit of exercise, procrastinating with work, slipping into a bad diet, and generally not feeling motivated. It’s hard to get out of a slump like that. It’s hard to get going again, to get started when all the forces of inertia are against you. Here’s how to get started, in just a few easy steps. Pick one thing. With every single step, you’ll feel better. Just announced: Dealing with Your Struggles video course.
Positive psychology. Hold Me Tight. We have a wired-in need for emotional contact and responsiveness from significant others. It's a survival response, the driving force of the bond of security a baby seeks with its mother. This observation is at the heart of attachment theory. A great deal of evidence indicates that the need for secure attachment never disappears; it evolves into the adult need for a secure emotional bond with a partner. Think of how a mother lovingly gazes at her baby, just as two lovers stare into each other's eyes. Although our culture has framed dependency as a bad thing, a weakness, it is not. The most basic tenet of attachment theory is that isolation—not just physical isolation but emotional isolation—is traumatizing for human beings.
The drama of love that I saw played out at the bar each night as a child is all about the human hunger for safe emotional connection, a survival imperative we experience from the cradle to the grave. Broken Connections Consider a couple with their firstborn child. Who Are You? (And What do You Think of Me?) The New Hire: What Do I Need to Know About This Job Candidate—and How Can I Find It Out? Every Sunday, America's corporate titans share their hiring strategies with . "I have a very good antenna about people," Starbucks founder Howard Schultz told the "Corner Office" column. "First off, I want to know what you're reading and then I'll ask you why.
Tell me what work-life balance means to you. " Abbe Raven, CEO of A&E Television Network, privileges her "gut reaction. " "Number 1, for me, is instinct. It's all about who they are as a person, their chemistry, their charisma , and their gravitas. " The problem with such freewheeling approaches is that qualities like charisma and compassion are faked in job interviews as much as 90 percent of the time, according to one landmark study. People are hugely overconfident about their ability to judge others in general, and recruiters may be particularly so. Potential employees are in impression-management hyperdrive. Relationship Rules.
Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be loved. Yet people have much trouble doing so. It's clear from the many letters I get that lots of folks have no idea what a healthy relationship even looks like. Because I care about these things, and care about the environments children grow in, I'm using this space as an attempt to remedy the problem—again. From many sources and many experts, I have culled some basic rules of relationships. This is by no means an exhaustive list. But it's a start. Choose a partner wisely and well. LSD Testing (British Troops) How Not to Talk to Your Kids. What do we make of a boy like Thomas? Thomas (his middle name) is a fifth-grader at the highly competitive P.S. 334, the Anderson School on West 84th. Slim as they get, Thomas recently had his long sandy-blond hair cut short to look like the new James Bond (he took a photo of Daniel Craig to the barber).
Unlike Bond, he prefers a uniform of cargo pants and a T-shirt emblazoned with a photo of one of his heroes: Frank Zappa. Thomas hangs out with five friends from the Anderson School. They are the smart kids. Thomas’s one of them, and he likes belonging. Since Thomas could walk, he has heard constantly that he’s smart. But as Thomas has progressed through school, this self-awareness that he’s smart hasn’t always translated into fearless confidence when attacking his schoolwork.
For instance, in the early grades, Thomas wasn’t very good at spelling, so he simply demurred from spelling out loud. Thomas is not alone. Why just a single line of praise? Why did this happen? That sold me. Healing the Body with Mindfulness of Breathing « Metta Refuge. This excerpt from a talk by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh explains how to use mindfulness of breathing to bring loving-kindness to our dear bodies. The physical effect of this can be truly remarkable. As Thây says, “You should really love your body. You should really take care of your body. Mindful breathing, with rest, can do miracles. “ The First Exercise of Mindful Breathing My dear friends, yesterday I spoke about the first exercise proposed by the Buddha concerning mindful breathing: “Breathing in, I am aware that I am breathing in; breathing out, I am aware that I am breathing out.” We should always start with our physical bodies, because our physical bodies also needs peace, harmony and rest.
We should realize a true rest. Animals in the forest, every time they are wounded, know how to rest. Deep relaxation here is one of the methods of resting. The Second Exercise of Mindful Breathing Do not try to prolong the breath; just allow it to be the way it is, naturally. Like this: Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. The 10 Rules of Change. Self-change is tough, but it's not impossible, nor does it have to be traumatic , according to change expert Stan Goldberg, Ph.D. Here, he lays out the 10 principles he deems necessary for successful change.
My mother died on Christmas day of a massive heart attack. I later counted 15 self-help books on her shelves, but found each offered only broad ideas; none provided the specifics necessary to save her life. Like my mother, many of us want to change but simply don't know how to do it. After 25 years of researching how people change, I've discovered 10 major principles that encompass all self-change strategies. All Behaviors Are Complex Research by psychologist James O. . : Break down the behavior Almost all behaviors can be broken down. He wanted to be on time for work, so he wrote down what that would entail: waking up, showering, dressing, preparing breakfast, eating, driving, parking and buying coffee—all before 9 a.m. Change Is Frightening : Examine the consequences : Be realistic. MBTI Basics - The 16 MBTI Types. Quiet, serious, earn success by thoroughness and dependability. Practical, matter-of-fact, realistic, and responsible.
Decide logically what should be done and work toward it steadily, regardless of distractions. Take pleasure in making everything orderly and organized - their work, their home, their life. Value traditions and loyalty. Quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. Committed and steady in meeting their obligations. Thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions.
Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Tolerant and flexible, quiet observers until a problem appears, then act quickly to find workable solutions. Quiet, friendly, sensitive, and kind. Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them. Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Outgoing, friendly, and accepting.