3 Reasons It’s So Easy to Misunderstand Your Partner. Source: Timur Weber/Pexels Research has repeatedly shown that what you don’t know about your partner can hurt you—not to mention your partner and the relationship itself. When the misunderstandings that arise from such ignorance are constant or serious enough, separation and divorce are all too often the outcomes. This post will focus on the three unverified assumptions that cause most of our relationship issues. The more knowledge we acquire about our partner, the better able we’ll be to avoid or resolve these problems when they inevitably occur. Here are the major assumptions that jeopardize virtually all committed relationships: 1. We assume we can just dismiss our partner’s past life from any ongoing exploration. On the contrary, knowing about our partner’s past is essential to fully understanding them. Moreover, if we’re to gain insight into their foundational programming—emanating primarily from childhood and adolescence—we need to ask them: What was their parenting like?
2. 3. Psychology Tools: What are Cognitive Distortions? Cognitive distortions, a concept from Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), refer to biased ways of thinking about oneself and the world around us. The model essentially states that there are specific (and common) ways people distort their thinking. These irrational thoughts and beliefs (i.e., distortions) can lead to problematic emotional states and behavior, like anxiety, low self-esteem, depression and relationship conflicts. That’s why you want to be aware of them, so that you can shift your thinking to more rational and objective thoughts whenever possible.
More rational thinking tends to lead to more positive emotional and behavioral experiences. Below is a list of 10 common cognitive distortions, from Dr. David Burns, author of the best seller “The Feeling Good Handbook.” List of Cognitive Distortions (Source: Burns, David D., MD. 1989. . “1.) 2.) 3.) 4.) 5.) A.) B.) 6.) 7.) 8.) 9.) 10.) Psychcentral.com also has a good, expanded list of cognitive distortions adapted from Dr. "Shoulds" and "Claims" in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Albert Ellis's (pp. 16-17) core concept of "musts" undoubtedly has its origin in Karen Horney's tyrannical shoulds and neurotic claims. According to the REBT theory of human disturbance, we "foolishly raise our strong goals, desires, and preferences, into unrealistic, overgeneralized, self- (and social-) sabotaging absolutistic shoulds, oughts, musts, and commands, most of which come under three main categories (with almost innumerable subheadings): 1.
Self-demandingness. "I, myself, absolutely must, under practically all conditions and at all times, perform well (or outstandingly well!) And win the approval (or complete love!) Of significant others. If I fail in these important—and sacred! 2. 3. Core Beliefs in Personality Disorder Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy by Wayne Froggatt. Core CounsellingThe Tyranny of the Should. ‘Shoulds’ are a list of ironclad rules about how we and other people ‘ought to’ act. These rules are indisputable; and, any deviation from these is deemed bad (by ego). We feel we ‘have to,’ ‘must,’ ‘need’ or ‘ought to’ do certain things out of duty, obligation or compulsion, never bothering to question our actions because, “That’s the way it’s been.” Some of the most common shoulds are: I should be able to find a quick solution to every problem; I should always be at peak efficiency; I should never be tired or get sick; I should be totally self-reliant; I should never make mistakes; I should always be happy and serene, even during hardships; and, I should know, understand, and foresee everything.
Known as “categorical imperatives,” shoulds, oughts, musts and have tos create unrealistic and overgeneralized absolutes. This psychologically destructive thinking pattern was further developed by Dr. We also place these clear-cut imperatives onto others. Should must ought | Veronica Walsh's CBT Blog Dublin, Ireland. 20 Cognitive Distortions and How They Affect Your Life. Booksforbetterliving. Forget the fad diets, join the food freedom movement. Counting calories is out. All the food groups are in. Becoming trim and healthy doesn’t have to be difficult or painstaking anymore. After trying almost every fad diet out there, Serene Allison and Pearl Barrett, creators of the Trim Healthy Mama movement, took matters into their own hands. Through trial and error and much research, they created the Trim Healthy Mama Plan, the breakthrough lifestyle program to help readers of all ages and stages get healthy, slim down and keep off the weight once and for all.
Based on the authors’ successful self-published book, this simplified, improved, practical plan shows people a unique way to lose weight and get healthy by eliminating sugar while still eating hearty, delicious foods. In the excerpt and video below, the authors share “The Basics” of their groundbreaking, easy-does-it, food freedom, weight loss plan. “Just tell me how this thing works!” That’s the number-one question we hear! Help! I Want To Do Trim Healthy Mama, But I'm Overwhelmed! - Northern Nester. Stifled Grief: How the West Has It Wrong. After nearly seven years of personal experience surrounding loss, I can tell who is going to read, share and comment on this article and it’s not necessarily the audience I’ve intended. Those who have walked the horrific road of loss will shake their collective heads “Yes” at many of my points below and share with pleads for the rest of the Western World to read, learn, evolve and embrace these concepts.
Unfortunately, my words will fall short for my intended audience because the premise does not yet apply to their lives...yet. In time, my words will resonate with every human on the face of this earth, but until a personal journey with loss takes place, my words will be passed over in exchange for articles about gorillas and fights over public bathroom usage. There is nothing sexy or exciting about grief. There is nothing that grabs a reader with no personal interest to open my words and take heed to my writing. I’m here to say that the West has the concept of grieving all wrong.
And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles. The Dead End of Sexual Sin. Unbelievers don’t “struggle” with same-sex attraction. I didn’t. My love for women came with nary a struggle at all. I had not always been a lesbian, but in my late twenties, I met my first lesbian-lover. I was hooked and believed that I had found my real self. Sex with women was part of my life and identity, but it was not the only part — and not always the biggest part. I simply preferred everything about women: their company, their conversation, their companionship, and the contours of their/our body.
As an unbelieving professor of English, an advocate of postmodernism and poststructuralism, and an opponent of all totalizing meta-narratives (like Christianity, I would have added back in the day), I found peace and purpose in my life as a lesbian and the queer community I helped to create. Conversion and Confusion It was only after I met my risen Lord that I ever felt shame in my sin, with my sexual attractions, and with my sexual history. What is the sin of sexual transgression? 1. 2. I Know Why Poor Whites Chant Trump, Trump, Trump – STIR Journal.
From the era of slavery to the rise of Donald Trump, wealthy elites have relied on the loyalty of poor whites. All Americans deserve better. I’m just a poor white trash motherfucker. No one cares about me. met the man who said those words while working as a bartender in the Ozark Mountains of northwest Arkansas.
It was a one-street town in Benton County. It had a beauty parlor, a gas station, and a bar where locals came on Friday nights to shoot the shit over cheap drinks and country music. I arrived in Arkansas by way of another little town in Louisiana, where all but a few local businesses had boarded up when Walmart moved in. Across the highway from the bar was the trailer park where I lived. I loved that trailer. My trailer was parked in the middle of Walmart country, which is also home to J.B.
I’m just a poor white trash motherfucker. What if he’s right? People want to be heard. What is it about a flamboyant millionaire that appeals to poor white conservatives? As Edmund S. Related. Arm Yourself With These Spiritual Weapons for the End Times. There is much we can learn from Esther about how we should respond in these uncertain, end times. The most important is how she responded when her very existence and that of the Jewish people all throughout Persia was threatened. Now she could have easily hidden her true identity, stayed in her comfort zone and ignored the reality of the situation—thinking it would never really impact her personal life; she could have responded in fear; or she could have cared only about protecting herself, not about the welfare of the entire Jewish population.
However, she did none of the above. Instead, Esther's response was to use spiritual weapons of warfare! "Go, gather all the Jews who can be found in Susa, then fast for me. Stop eating and drinking for three days, night or day. Today, we all are faced with a very similar dilemma. Most of us are not even aware of the "tool belt" of weapons that we are wearing. So, what are the spiritual weapons of warfare you need to be using? Draw closer to God. Aol. 35 Bill Cosby Accusers Tell Their Stories -- The Cut. More has changed in the past few years for women who allege rape than in all the decades since the women’s movement began.
Consider the evidence of October 2014, when a Philadelphia magazine reporter at a Hannibal Buress show uploaded a clip of the comedian talking about Bill Cosby: “He gets on TV, ‘Pull your pants up, black people … I can talk down to you because I had a successful sitcom.’ Yeah, but you rape women, Bill Cosby, so turn the crazy down a couple notches … I guess I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.
Dude’s image, for the most part, it’s fucking public Teflon image. I’ve done this bit onstage and people think I’m making it up … That shit is upsetting.” The bit went viral swiftly, with irreversible, calamitous consequences for Cosby’s reputation. Perhaps the most shocking thing wasn’t that Buress had called Cosby a rapist; it was that the world had actually heard him. A decade earlier, 14 women had accused Cosby of rape. Read her story. 3 Simple Secrets To Getting Your Child Out of Defense Mode — Asperger Experts. Dear Parents, For as long as I can remember, I’ve been victim to one of the most prominent issues that often accompanies an Asperger’s diagnosis: sensory overload.
Some of my earliest memories involve dramatic episodes at local fireworks shows; I would clap my hands over my ears and scream until my mom hauled me from the scene. Trips to the movie theater also presented this problem, and my mom soon discovered the correlation between loud, invasive situations and environments and my frequent public meltdowns that left me so distraught. As you read this, you may nod in recognition, all too familiar with how frustrating, confusing, and unpleasant sensory overwhelm can be for everyone involved. You may not know this, but many people with Asperger’s (myself included, at one point) feel an almost crippling shame that they can’t go out and enjoy their days like almost everyone else can.
That brings me to the actual advice part of this piece. You may be asking, “How do I go about doing this?” Glogin?mobile=1&URI= How People In Wedding Trades Can Defend Themselves. The successful shutting down (or at least shutting up) of non-groupthink-compliant wedding cake and floral businesses has given gay-marriage agitators and their backers a taste of the vast power of ideological extortion in 2015 America. I’m optimistic that the law will eventually come to its senses and give wide berth to Christians in the wedding trades, or even to non-Christian libertarians who simply don’t want to be told who they have to do business with. Perhaps James O’Keefe will covertly record owners of a black-owned florist shop being asked to create an arrangement for a “KKK” event, or a Muslim-owned catering service being asked to cater a Bar Mitzvah. But something will eventually jar the nation out of its deep-seated fear of not giving gay marriage complete affirmation by every citizen at the expense of religious freedom.
The Federal Bureau of Cakes Options for Conscientious Objectors Branding Is Everything What am I talking about? Cake Baker? DJ? Follow the Money. Prophetic Wannabees and the Prophetic Reformation. R. Loren Sandford, one of my great friends and mentors, once wrote, "A group of prophetic wannabees is any pastor's worst nightmare. " While this statement can be seen as both humorous and incredibly sad, I have personally spent the last five years sitting with pastors and leaders from across America listening to one painful story after another regarding their unpleasant encounters and interactions with prophetic people.
"Jeremiah, our church has been incredibly wounded by the prophetic ministry, but yet we believe in it! Can you come help bring healing and restoration here? " I cannot count how many of these types of phone calls I receive every year from churches across the USA. In fact, for every 10 churches that call and invite me to speak at their conference or gathering, nine of them have had bad experiences with prophetic ministers and people. Where Have We Gone Wrong? Are Prophetic Roundtables Helpful? Blessing or Collateral Damage? Old Testament Delusions Those Lowdown Prophets. Redemption: A Lesbian Rescued From the Dead End of Sexual Sin. Unbelievers don't "struggle" with same-sex attraction. I didn't. My love for women came with nary a struggle at all. I had not always been a lesbian, but in my late 20s, I met my first lesbian-lover.
I was hooked and believed that I had found my real self. Sex with women was part of my life and identity, but it was not the only part—and not always the biggest part. I simply preferred everything about women: their company, their conversation, their companionship, and the contours of their/our body. As an unbelieving professor of English, an advocate of postmodernism and poststructuralism, and an opponent of all totalizing meta-narratives (like Christianity, I would have added back in the day), I found peace and purpose in my life as a lesbian and the queer community I helped to create. Conversion and Confusion It was only after I met my risen Lord that I ever felt shame in my sin, with my sexual attractions, and with my sexual history.
What is the sin of sexual transgression? 1. 2. 3. 4. A. NYT Writer: Christians ‘Must Be Made’ to Embrace Gay Lifestyle. Yet who could have expected the draconian measures the Times would propose? Either Christians fully embrace the gay lifestyle, or you will be coerced into doing so. Op-ed writer Frank Bruni, onetime Times restaurant critic and a gay activist, has written that Christians who hold on to “ossified,” biblically-based beliefs regarding sexual morality have no place at America’s table and are deserving of no particular regard.
In one fell swoop, Bruni trashes all believing Christians as “bigots,” saying that Christians’ negative moral assessment of homosexual relations is “a choice” that “prioritizes scattered passages of ancient texts over all that has been learned since — as if time had stood still, as if the advances of science and knowledge meant nothing.” In other words, if you still cling to your benighted views and your “ancient texts,” you are living in the past and your views merit no respect. As a food critic, NY Times writer Frank Bruni was entertaining and occasionally informative. 32 Legitimate Ways to Make Money at Home - The Penny Hoarder. When You've Failed. How to Break the Cycle of Abuse. Warning signs for micromanagers and dreamers | Thunderbird School of Global Management.
9 Signs You're in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship by Lesli White | Wellness| Relationships| Abuse| Love & Family| - Beliefnet.com. 10 Things the Church Puts Ahead of Reaching People. How Do Japanese Dump Trash? Let Us Count the Myriad Ways. Cindy Jacobs’ Prophetic Vision Reveals Key That Unlocks Wisdom. Dutch Sheets Shares Prophetic 'Mega Grace' Revelation. 9 Power Quotes for Times of Struggle. Discerning between wolves, sheep and horses in a church. Three existential threats facing America. (My address to the National Religious Broadcasters convention.) | Joel C. Rosenberg's Blog. A Burning Church is the Only Hope for America. 10 Signs That You're Captive to the Enemy. Battling the Behemoths of Our Time.
12 Essential Characteristics of the New Apostolic Leaders. Prophecy: Posture Your Hearts to Receive Power at 5:55. Satan's 3-Step Setup to Silence Your Voice. 7 Awesome Smartphone Photography Tricks. #1 Is Brilliant! The Biggest Medical Breakthrough - Lemon and Soda!! When Is It Right to Leave a Marriage? Disarm the Power of Deception in Your Life. Are You a Spiritual Baby?
Billy Graham: 4 Ways Christians Should Respond to the Spirit of the World. LGB teens in Orlando area schools report drug abuse, depression. Why Homosexual Love Stories Don't Have Happy Endings. 12 Ways to Be the Leader Everyone Wants to Work For. 7 Reasons You Need to Start Praying Audacious Prayers Right Now. Some Honest Questions for Professing 'Gay Christians' Brendan Eich quits Mozilla: Let’s purge all the anti-gay donors to Prop 8. Steadfast Lutherans » Redeeming Holy Days from Pagan Lies-Easter 2. Steadfast Lutherans » Redeeming Holy Days from Pagan Lies-Easter 2. Steadfast Lutherans » Redeeming Holy Days from Pagan Lies-Easter 1. The Great Gay Deception. What to Look for in a Mentor. BBC Believes You Only Read 6 of These Books... When You Want to Quit God's Calling on Your Life. 5 Ways to Set SMART Goals. How To Easily Make A Beehive In A Jar DIY Project.
Prophet Bob Jones Passes Away. How to Handle Your Call to Lead When You're a Woman. Galaxy Note 2 - Massive battery drain after 4.3 update. Debunking Five Common Arguments for Homosexuality. Orlando lawyer goes extra mile to provide work-life balance for women. The 7 Great Lies in the Church Today. Health---Well-Being. 20 Things The Rich Do Every Day. Experts give advice on year end donations to charity. Gifted Children and Moral Development - Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration.
Kazimierz Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration. Existential Depression in Gifted Children. Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid. Martin Luther’s Anfechtungen–his own dark nights of the soul, and how they affected his teaching and ministry | Grateful to the dead. 100 Most Famous Landmarks Around the World. Heart-healthy diet: 8 steps to prevent heart disease. The American Heart Association's Diet and Lifestyle Recommendations. .facebook_895548004. 31 Days of Praying for Your Husband. LibraryThing. My first plane flight, to mourn JFK.
Iris Global Newsletter, Heidi & Rolland Baker Newsletter | Iris Global. 60 Quotes that Will Change the Way You Think. Food For Life – Jentezen Franklin. Fibromyalgia solved; A pathology, not in the mind. Obama's Religion Is Out Of Spotlight But Christian Spirituality Serves During Tough Times. The Racial Dot Map: One Dot Per Person | Weldon Cooper Center for Public Service. 20 Awesome Marriage Tips From a Recently Divorced Man.
PaleoBurn. Report Finds ‘Heartbreaking’ Slide in Baptisms. New research: College ‘hook up’ culture doesn’t lead to more sex.