Xkcd explains Nice Guys in comic format. Explainer: What is a "Nice Guy®?" What is a "Nice Guy? " Ah, the Nice Guy®. Pity the Nice Guy®. No, please, pity him. He desperately wants you to. And while you're pitying him, would it kill you to give him a mercy fuck? Whether or not he ever asks for it? No, seriously. All right. What's wrong with that statement? He's not a friend to women. But don't women go for the bad boy? Okay, I can see we're not going to get anywhere this way, so let's take a look at a typical Nice Guy® giving his natural mating cry, known to most people as a "loud, obnoxious whine. " I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.What happened to all the nice guys? As you can see, the Nice Guy®'s first target, in everything, is women.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. Well, can't being nice lead to sex? Being nice? How "nice. " Alpha Dreams and Beta Genes: Male Sexual Entitlement « Gucci Little Piggy. Heartless Bitches International - "Nice Guys = BLEAH!" All too often we hear self-professed "Nice Guys" complaining about why they can't get a date, and whining that women just want to date jerks, etc. etc. The truth of the matter is that there are genuinely caring, compassionate, decent, fun guys out there who have NO TROUBLE meeting people, getting dates, and having relationships.
Unfortunately, many of the guys who DO have trouble, insist that women don't want them because they are "too Nice". These people who call themselves "Nice Guys" can't see that THEIR OWN behavior is the problem. That behavior either drives women away or attracts the WORST kind of predator - one who is manipulative and self-serving. Whether it is targeting women who are troubled to begin with, setting themselves up to be taken advantage of, or acting in a manipulative, patronizing or obsequious fashion, these guys sabotage themselves and often blame "all women" for their misfortunes. Required Reading: The Difference Between Being Nice and Being Kind Sensitive Guy?
“Feminism made women too picky”: more on male rage, sexual entitlement, and backlash. I can never figure out the blogosphere. I start blogging less frequently, and my traffic — and comments — go up. May 2009 has seen my highest number of visitors this year, despite a notable reduction in the number of posts. Go figure. Perhaps less is more? Lots of discussion below last Thursday’s post, much of it both civil and thoughtful. We recently debated the “problem” of men “never feeling hot.” I wrote last fall against the tired old “male responsibility requires female vulnerability” thesis peddled by an array of social conservatives from Brad Wilcox to Kay Hymowitz. Here’s the connection to our Nice Guys(tm): feminism has empowered women economically, educationally, and socially. Hence the appeal of younger, more economically vulnerable women; hence the appeal of mail-order brides.