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14 Kurt Vonnegut Quotes To Start Your Week. Kurt Vonnegut was one of the most important American writers of all time. He penned such classics as Slaughterhouse-Five, Cat's Cradle, and Breakfast of Champions, and had a style that teetered between science-fiction, satire, and humor. To younger generations, he's known as the guy who's responsible for the "So it goes" tattoo on your friend's wrist and the reason people want to smoke unfiltered Pall Malls.

The New York Times once called him "the counterculture's novelist," and, before his death in 2007, Vonnegut published over a dozen novels, as well as a plethora of personal essays, short stories, and scripts. And culling through much of these works, we found 14 prolific quotes by the late author to start off your week. Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy the madness. Businessinsider 5.

Howtoactfrench 7. Inspiring Famous Quotes Illustrated With Minimalistic Posters. 52K views 13 days ago by Yabadada Toronto-based web and graphic designer Ryan McArthur gave inspiring quotes by some of the most brilliant minds of our time a second life with his minimalistic poster designs. Humorous, inspiring and strikingly insightful, these quotes take some twisted turns into our minds with McArthur’s playful illustrations. Some of these designs were created with specific quotes in mind, but others found their literary equivalents only after the illustrations were done.

Source: ryanmcarthur.ca | Etsy | Facebook Like Dislike 17 points Vote: 60 Selected Best Famous Quotes. In this posting you will find my selection of the very best 60 quotes, from nearly a decade of collecting them. They range from the profound to the intriguing to the just plain funny. One way or the other, you’ll surely find many of them to be thought-provoking and entertaining.

This selection is, of course, based solely on my personal taste (and even that varies largely from day to day according to my mood). You are welcome to browse the entire collection and look for your own favorite ones or contribute new quotes from your own personal collection. Wisdom Quotes 1. —David Allen 2. —Antoine de Saint-Exupéry 3. —Unknown Author 4. —Wayne Gretzky 5. —Ambrose Redmoon 6. —Gandhi 7. —Lin-Chi 8. —A. 9. —Abraham Maslow 10. —Aristotle 11. —Baltasar Gracian 12. —Basho 13. —Lao-Tze 14. —Georg Christoph Lichtenberg 15. —John Ruskin 16. —Marcel Proust 17. 18. —Virgil Garnett Thomson 19. —Will Rogers 20. —Zig Ziglar Funny Quotes 21. —John Wilmot 22.

—Oscar Levant 23. —Oscar Wilde 24. —New York City detective 25. —Norm Crosby. Funny Quotes. Facebook History of the World | CollegeHumor. Really Bad Puns... - Nobody Asked Me... My collection of funny emails from my inbox. Subject: 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel. " After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. "Great! " Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift.

The priest removed his hand. Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. Lesson 3: "Me first! "Me next! Lesson 4: Lesson 5: Lesson 6: The Worst Analogies Ever Written in a High School Essay. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. A quote by Dr John "JD" Dorian. THE INSULT FILE VERSION 6.13. For the latest version of this file, go to [ ].

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature and a heavy-metal bagpipe player. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. You are a thick-headed trog.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? You are a waste of flesh. On a good day you're a half-wit. You smarmy lagerlout git. You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath. It is hard to believe how incredibly stupid you are.